Paul McKenna webchat - 3 things that will change your destiny

Paul, do you think that having 2 goals, i.e. wanting to lose weight and give up smoking, would be too much to tackle together?

I know that you have written a book "Quit Smoking Today Without Gaining Weight" but what would you advise someone who wants to quit smoking and lose a stone or two?

I'm not obese, but have gone from a size 10/12 to a 14 over the last year or so. I previously did a Slimming World plan, which was successful, the idea being that when I got to my target weight, I would then tackle the smoking, but after being made redundant it all seems to have fallen by the wayside!

Snap! phoenix that is truly creepy, echoing my situation exactly......
Very interested in this too Paul, have stopped smoking several times using your book / willpower but lapsed after months, can you give me any advice please?

Do you think there are some people who just can't be hypnotised? I have tried your CD for sleeping and I have also been to a practitioner all to no avail. I am something of a control freak and as a result don't think I allow myself to be hypnotised.

Hi Paul

I wonder if you could suggest anything to help me please, although I think I am probably a hopeless case and maybe a magician is what I really need????

I am 53, my husband is 63 and we have been running a small business for over 20 years (Control systems/electrical engineering) we are working harder and longer hours than ever before and have virtually nothing to show for it. We sold our previous house and downsized to keep the company afloat and sold our precious static caravan too (I cried for the caravan but not the house). We often go without wages in order to keep our employees and get through hard times and couldn't bear to make anyone redundant. Additionally I am the main carer to my 98 year old (very demanding) grandma who lives alone. My mum is severly disabled and I care for my three grandchildren 2 days a week. Sometimes I feel that my life is not my own. I have no power to do anything "I want to do". Don't get me wrong I don't begrudge my commitments, I just wish I could occasionally take control and put my foot down. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.

I did say I was probably a hopeless case !

Hello Paul I would love to know about the virtual gastric band. I am stuck in a cycle of yoyo dieting. Lose it. Put it on. Depressed about starting all over again. My will power seems to have deserted me and I find it impossible to meditate or take control of whatever it is that is compelling me into this cycle. Please help

'Mend a Broken Heart'? You can do that? Mine is broken - widowed too early and too suddenly. So what can you do for me! I wait with baited breath ......................

Hi Paul,
How can we control obsessing? Those grasshoppers in the brain at 3 am that will not stop hopping about? Can we switch them off?
Thank you....

I would like to ask about stress - specifically my husband's. He works too hard and doesn't sleep enough (insists that there is no point in going to bed early as it means he will wake early) and it's really taking over. What can I do to help him?

If I recall correctly last time you came to Gransnet you said something about do you own the chocolate or does the chocolate own you? I have given this great thought and conclude (alas) that the chocolate owns me. I seem to be able to take control of everything else but not this. Help!

I have always wanted to write a book. I have the idea. I have made notes. I'm keener than anything to make this happen. But every time I settle down to it I find my motivation deserts me. It's so frustrating because I really do want to achieve this - I wonder whether motivation is actually the problem or whether this stems from a lack of confidence instead? Either way any tips would be great - it would be awful to think I had never even tried in the end

Not sure where to start but at 60yrs old I find myself living on my own, anxious & totally lacking in self confidence.

I've been having counselling & have realised that at the age of 16 I went from living with dominating parents to living with a dominating, controlling Husband that was 25yrs older than me.

Two yrs ago he was diagnosed with Alzheimers & 5months ago after attacking me he was sectioned. Initially I was relieved but that was very short lived & I have found it very tough & hard to cope on my own.

I've been his carer for the last 15yrs but now I will have to look for a job. I don't have any qualifications or much experience & feel panicky at the thought of it all.

Although in theory I now have the chance at last to go out & do what I want, I don't know what that is or how to go about it?

I feel as though I'm still stuck on the inside as the shy inexperienced 16yr old.
Am I a lost cause? Is it too late?

Dear Posie, my heart goes out to you. I'm sure 60 is not too old and that in time you'll find a way forward and some fulfilling activities. I hope Paul has some good suggestions. Enjoy your freedom.

I've had some hypnotherapy and I found it really useful. In the past it was about self confidence and then more recently for fear of flying which was stunningly successful.
I suppose what I wonder is, if our subconscious is there to protect us and we don't know what might be hidden away from our conscious mind, does hypnotherapy actually change these hidden things? And what is the relationship with willpower? Eg if we eat chocolate to satisfy an emotional need although we might know consciously it isn't good for us in various ways, does the emotional need go away with hypnotherapy or does it just get transferred to something else?

I do like the idea of still having a destiny in my 60s!

Hello Paul

Do you have a cure for life long insomnia? The only thing that works is sleeping pills. Have tried CBT, yoga, meditation and all the usual ridiculous things such as herbs and soothing drinks. Would hypnosis help?

How do you mend broken heart?

I have used Paul's relaxation CD for a few years now, it has been very helpful. Must admit I have never heard the whole of the CD, as I have dropped of to sleep. Have nothing but praise.

Hello Paul

I am 65. I have never had any confidence and get very anxious about the slightest thing. My upbringing was quite horrible and I have suffered quite a few traumas in later life. It would be nice, at this stage in my life, to let go of the past and be happier. Can this be done do you think?

Hi Paul I have just listened to your cd from 3 things to change your destiny. I find it very difficult to visualise I feel there is a block could my tinnitus have something to do with this? I will keep preserving but if you have any suggestions would be much appreciated. Thanks.

phoenix

Paul, do you think that having 2 goals, i.e. wanting to lose weight and give up smoking, would be too much to tackle together?

I know that you have written a book "Quit Smoking Today Without Gaining Weight" but what would you advise someone who wants to quit smoking and lose a stone or two?

I'm not obese, but have gone from a size 10/12 to a 14 over the last year or so. I previously did a Slimming World plan, which was successful, the idea being that when I got to my target weight, I would then tackle the smoking, but after being made redundant it all seems to have fallen by the wayside!

I think having 2 goals is a good thing but trying to do them both at the same time might be too much, in fact if you want to tackle any big goal it's best to break it down into small steps. Giving up smoking is a good idea as, whilst it may relax you, there are long term negative health consequences. I strongly recommend hypnosis for this, in fact if you go to iTunes you'll find you can download my audio programme and this is much cheaper than hypnosis.

Indeed a recent research study showed that hypnosis is by far the best way to quit smoking, and sometimes you need to reinforce the hypnosis by listening to the trance several times over a few weeks. But if you download the audio programme you'll have me on tap 24 hours a day. I can't make you stop smoking, but I can help to make it easier and that's what this programme does. If you want to lose weight, I have 3 books, but I would highly recommend my hypnotic gastric band app - I'll hypnotise you to think that your stomach has shrunk from the size of a melon to the size of a tennis ball, so you feel full faster.

loopylou

Snap! phoenix that is truly creepy, echoing my situation exactly......
Very interested in this too Paul, have stopped smoking several times using your book / willpower but lapsed after months, can you give me any advice please?

It's very common to take several attempts to quit smoking, and when some people say to me that they failed to quit smoking, I ask them, 'so you didn't stop even for a few minutes?' And they reply, 'no I stopped for several months', So I say to them that if you can stop for several months, several times, you can stop for several years.

So don't beat yourself up if you start smoking again, some people can take several tries to quit smoking and it can be stressful times or difficult situations that can make them start again. If this is the case, I recommend to them the same advice that I gave Phoenix, which is to download my app: Quit Smoking Today Without Gaining Weight, which you can get from iTunes. It's much cheaper than going to see a hypnotherapist and you'll have me on tap 24-hours a day if you feel the urge to start again. Good luck, and Happy New Year!

sunseeker

Do you think there are some people who just can't be hypnotised? I have tried your CD for sleeping and I have also been to a practitioner all to no avail. I am something of a control freak and as a result don't think I allow myself to be hypnotised.

I've never met anybody who can't be hypnotised but not everyone can be cured of every problem, every time. However, I understand that you've tried my sleep CD and you've also seen a practitioner - may I recommend my new I Can Make You Sleep app, which you can get from iTunes. I'm very proud of this new product, it takes all of my best tips for helping people to get to sleep and puts them on your computer or smartphone. It makes you feel very relaxed before you go to sleep and also helps if you wake in the night and need to get back to sleep. Not only that, a good night's sleep isn't just about the hours you get, its about the quality of the sleep. The app is very interactive so I'll be asking you to chart your progress over 7 days. While I cannot guarantee this will work, I think it's a potentially very inexpensive solution. Good luck and I hope you're sleeping better soon.

gillybob

Hi Paul

I wonder if you could suggest anything to help me please, although I think I am probably a hopeless case and maybe a magician is what I really need????

I am 53, my husband is 63 and we have been running a small business for over 20 years (Control systems/electrical engineering) we are working harder and longer hours than ever before and have virtually nothing to show for it. We sold our previous house and downsized to keep the company afloat and sold our precious static caravan too (I cried for the caravan but not the house). We often go without wages in order to keep our employees and get through hard times and couldn't bear to make anyone redundant. Additionally I am the main carer to my 98 year old (very demanding) grandma who lives alone. My mum is severly disabled and I care for my three grandchildren 2 days a week. Sometimes I feel that my life is not my own. I have no power to do anything "I want to do". Don't get me wrong I don't begrudge my commitments, I just wish I could occasionally take control and put my foot down. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.

I did say I was probably a hopeless case !

Hi gillybob, it sounds like you are a very caring person and you want the best for those around you, but if you're not in good shape because you're overwhelmed at times, then you're not in a position to help others the best way you can. Sometimes the best thing you can do for others is to put yourself first. If you need a little extra help, may I suggest that you go to iTunes and download my app I Can Make You Confident. This can help you become more assertive and stronger in yourself so that you can make the right decisions.