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SEX

(70 Posts)
henetha Tue 08-Sept-20 10:28:05

I think it's better for both men and women that sex is more freely available now. It was downright ridiculous in my young day that you couldn't find out if you were compatible or not in that department until your wedding night.
But I do think it's gone too far the other way now.

Luckygirl Tue 08-Sept-20 09:45:12

Well - I think it is a mixed blessing.

It is absolutely a positive thing that women have ceased to be expected to be passive recipients of sex - though I suspect that this expectation was not always true! And it is good that women are not stigmatised for having sex or conceiving outside marriage.

But I do think that it has placed expectations on teenagers and other young women to engage in sexual activity before they are really ready and also in ways and with people that are unacceptable. At least when there were rules these young girls had a reason for saying no that they could fall back on.

I go onto Mumsnet sometimes and the number of young women who ask questions about what they should and shouldn't do is very worrying. The concept of self-respect and choice is sometimes lacking; and it is very clear that they feel pressured into doing things they do not want to. Questions such as "My partner does X, is this normal/acceptable?" give me the shudders.

Chewbacca Tue 08-Sept-20 09:36:03

Anything that's removed the shame and embarrassment surrounding pre marital sex was surely a good thing? And, without a doubt, it was always the woman who had to bear the shame of having indulged in sex before she was married, wasn't it? She was often referred to in very condemnatory terms, especially if she became pregnant; whereas the man was "just doing what men do". Thank God that's changed.

Esspee Tue 08-Sept-20 09:04:40

Having to get married is probably the main reason there were so many “ honeymoon babies” or “premature babies” in the days before the pill.
While “nice girls” didn’t have sex before marriage or at least until they were engaged the historical records show a very different story. There has always been a lot of premarital sex. It was simply not spoken about.

trisher Mon 07-Sept-20 18:11:33

When I was a student and experimenting with sex we were chatting in our hall of Residence about it, one of the cleaners overheard us and said "I'd rather have a good fish supper." Then I thought she was crazy-Now I agree with her!
Both of my grandmothers were expecting when they married. There were a lot of "honeymoon babies" around.

threexnanny Mon 07-Sept-20 18:07:44

I think there is even more pressure on girls to have sex before they are ready. Virginity is seen as something to be got rid of - like spots!

Namsnanny Mon 07-Sept-20 18:02:26

From what I gather,having a sex life for young women isnt easier or better, just different.
Look up how women feel about the availability of porn on their psychological health.
Check out the abortion stats.
No one has a fit of the vapours at the mention of sex anymore, true.
But they still have emotional and practical difficulties.
Plus for all the veneer of equality a woman who has more partners than the considered norm is viewed negatively even now, by their peers.

Sadly the same stereotypes for both men and women still exist

Esspee Mon 07-Sept-20 13:52:16

Life has improved immeasurably for women in that sphere. We now are able to enjoy our sexuality in the way men have always been able to.

My mother would have had a fit of the vapours at the suggestion that sex was to be enjoyed. I was never able to discuss the subject with her but I expect orgasm was something she never experienced far less expected to have every single time she had intercourse. As for female ejaculation!!!! I would bet my life on her having no idea what it is.

ginny Mon 07-Sept-20 13:48:12

I’m not sure the OPs statement about no sex till there was some sort of ring on your finger is true . Pre marital sex has been happening since time began

kittylester Mon 07-Sept-20 13:35:50

I wonder why this is under Webchats!

Millie22 Mon 07-Sept-20 12:09:01

I'm inclined to agree with Boy George.

SillyNanny321 Mon 07-Sept-20 11:39:43

Cheese on toast, a good book & very loud rock music for me!

BlueBelle Mon 07-Sept-20 11:36:12

Oh a bag of oven cooked salt and black pepper crisps and a fruity cider That ll do it for me

Smileless2012 Mon 07-Sept-20 11:27:22

A G&T, and a bar of chocolate while reading a good bookgrin

Illte Mon 07-Sept-20 11:24:59

A good book?

Septimia Mon 07-Sept-20 11:14:41

Or a bar of chocolate!

merlotgran Mon 07-Sept-20 10:35:25

I'd rather have a G&T.

EllanVannin Mon 07-Sept-20 10:34:28

I'd rather have a roast dinner !

Pantglas2 Mon 07-Sept-20 09:56:44

Of course it has! Women can also get sex easily.....

jeanrobinson Mon 07-Sept-20 09:55:12

I am Very Old, and in my day you didn't have sex until at least you had an engagement ring on your finger (many brides were pregnant on the wedding day). Now that men can get sex easily, I wonder if life has really improved for women.