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(63 Posts)
jeanrobinson Mon 07-Sep-20 09:55:12

I am Very Old, and in my day you didn't have sex until at least you had an engagement ring on your finger (many brides were pregnant on the wedding day). Now that men can get sex easily, I wonder if life has really improved for women.

Pantglas2 Mon 07-Sep-20 09:56:44

Of course it has! Women can also get sex easily.....

EllanVannin Mon 07-Sep-20 10:34:28

I'd rather have a roast dinner !

merlotgran Mon 07-Sep-20 10:35:25

I'd rather have a G&T.

Septimia Mon 07-Sep-20 11:14:41

Or a bar of chocolate!

Illte Mon 07-Sep-20 11:24:59

A good book🙂

Smileless2012 Mon 07-Sep-20 11:27:22

A G&T, and a bar of chocolate while reading a good bookgrin

BlueBelle Mon 07-Sep-20 11:36:12

Oh a bag of oven cooked salt and black pepper crisps and a fruity cider That ll do it for me

SillyNanny321 Mon 07-Sep-20 11:39:43

Cheese on toast, a good book & very loud rock music for me!

Millie22 Mon 07-Sep-20 12:09:01

I'm inclined to agree with Boy George.

kittylester Mon 07-Sep-20 13:35:50

I wonder why this is under Webchats!

ginny Mon 07-Sep-20 13:48:12

I’m not sure the OPs statement about no sex till there was some sort of ring on your finger is true . Pre marital sex has been happening since time began

Esspee Mon 07-Sep-20 13:52:16

Life has improved immeasurably for women in that sphere. We now are able to enjoy our sexuality in the way men have always been able to.

My mother would have had a fit of the vapours at the suggestion that sex was to be enjoyed. I was never able to discuss the subject with her but I expect orgasm was something she never experienced far less expected to have every single time she had intercourse. As for female ejaculation!!!! I would bet my life on her having no idea what it is.

Namsnanny Mon 07-Sep-20 18:02:26

From what I gather,having a sex life for young women isnt easier or better, just different.
Look up how women feel about the availability of porn on their psychological health.
Check out the abortion stats.
No one has a fit of the vapours at the mention of sex anymore, true.
But they still have emotional and practical difficulties.
Plus for all the veneer of equality a woman who has more partners than the considered norm is viewed negatively even now, by their peers.

Sadly the same stereotypes for both men and women still exist

threexnanny Mon 07-Sep-20 18:07:44

I think there is even more pressure on girls to have sex before they are ready. Virginity is seen as something to be got rid of - like spots!

trisher Mon 07-Sep-20 18:11:33

When I was a student and experimenting with sex we were chatting in our hall of Residence about it, one of the cleaners overheard us and said "I'd rather have a good fish supper." Then I thought she was crazy-Now I agree with her!
Both of my grandmothers were expecting when they married. There were a lot of "honeymoon babies" around.

Esspee Tue 08-Sep-20 09:04:40

Having to get married is probably the main reason there were so many “ honeymoon babies” or “premature babies” in the days before the pill.
While “nice girls” didn’t have sex before marriage or at least until they were engaged the historical records show a very different story. There has always been a lot of premarital sex. It was simply not spoken about.

Chewbacca Tue 08-Sep-20 09:36:03

Anything that's removed the shame and embarrassment surrounding pre marital sex was surely a good thing? And, without a doubt, it was always the woman who had to bear the shame of having indulged in sex before she was married, wasn't it? She was often referred to in very condemnatory terms, especially if she became pregnant; whereas the man was "just doing what men do". Thank God that's changed.

Luckygirl Tue 08-Sep-20 09:45:12

Well - I think it is a mixed blessing.

It is absolutely a positive thing that women have ceased to be expected to be passive recipients of sex - though I suspect that this expectation was not always true! And it is good that women are not stigmatised for having sex or conceiving outside marriage.

But I do think that it has placed expectations on teenagers and other young women to engage in sexual activity before they are really ready and also in ways and with people that are unacceptable. At least when there were rules these young girls had a reason for saying no that they could fall back on.

I go onto Mumsnet sometimes and the number of young women who ask questions about what they should and shouldn't do is very worrying. The concept of self-respect and choice is sometimes lacking; and it is very clear that they feel pressured into doing things they do not want to. Questions such as "My partner does X, is this normal/acceptable?" give me the shudders.

henetha Tue 08-Sep-20 10:28:05

I think it's better for both men and women that sex is more freely available now. It was downright ridiculous in my young day that you couldn't find out if you were compatible or not in that department until your wedding night.
But I do think it's gone too far the other way now.

Oldwoman70 Tue 08-Sep-20 10:33:21

As a teenager I was always uncomfortable at the difference in attitude between men and women who have sex. A boy who got a girl pregnant was just "a bit of a lad" whereas the girl was either "a slut" or "no better than she ought to be". At least these days those sort of attitudes are not so prevalent.

Davidhs Tue 08-Sep-20 12:17:27

Like many, in “my day” you had to wait until the ring was firmly on the finger AND Granny approved of you. LOL

Most of my friends married young and stayed married. Move on a generation, all 3 of my daughters shacked up with boyfriends at 18 and stayed with them, it took the youngest 7 yrs to marry but they are all good. Move on another generation both elder grandsons have girlfriends in residence.

Maybe young women do enjoy more sex at an earlier age, more sex is certainly available to young men, as they get older the divorce rate is depressingly high and many never find a life partner.

My own view is that having many sexual partners makes it harder to settle with one, especially beyond 30yrs.

sodapop Tue 08-Sep-20 12:30:55

I think there is too much emphasis now on the mechanics of sex and not enough on the value of relationships. Respect does not seem to feature much either.
I was one of those bad girls who had a five month pregnancy.
I can relate to what you say Chewbacca I worked in a large psychiatric hospital in the 60s and there were ladies in there who were classed as moral defectives because they had babies or sex out of wedlock. They had been there many years and were completely institutionalised. So sad.

TerriBull Tue 08-Sep-20 12:38:21

I think what was so wrong in the past, women/girls were seen as a person with loose morals if they were known to indulge in sex before marriage, and particularly if they paid the ultimate price by getting pregnant. Meanwhile their male counterparts were just "sewing wild oats" so that was alright then hmm

GagaJo Tue 08-Sep-20 12:44:23


Of course it has! Women can also get sex easily.....

Do tell Pantglas!

My mum was an illegitimate baby, getting on for 90 years ago. Granny was a respectable old country lady, thus giving the lie to no sex before marriage in the ‘good old days’.