Banned from having contact with grandchildren

So you, your husband and your son have views that your daughter finds SO offensive as to cut you all off completely and yet you only said ‘Protests should be peaceful’
Come on Jenrev !!!

Jenrev

I can honestly say that I have been calm, polite and not said much at all. I have apologised many times. Not because I feel I should but to hopefully repair any damage.

But if you are only apologising because you want to see the children then it’s not a genuine apology and anyway I think it’s nonsense that you expect us to believe you just said I think protests should be peaceful that really is the biggest load of tosh ever There must have been some really radical messages come across for a loving daughter to have acted so massively
I think you have your head firmly in the sand over this one and need to think hard about what you said and how it was taken

I have examined my self and thoughts very carefully, including with friends, familt and colleagues. Honestly, I am no racist and have friends of different race, all of whom I respect and love.

I can honestly say that I have been calm, polite and not said much at all. I have apologised many times. Not because I feel I should but to hopefully repair any damage.

I have a son, she has cut him off too. His views are similar to mine.

Jenrev I am going to take this as a genuine thread for now

Can you not see if you have totally opposing views to your daughter and son in law about racism they are going to be very scared to leave the children with you
Personally I think they are going about it the wrong way and it’s cruel to take you away from your grandkids you should see them but only when they are there in the room with you to censor what is said
However I believe rightly or wrongly a lot more has gone from your mouth than what you are telling us I really cannot believe you have been banned from their lives for ever for just saying that protests should be peaceful that’s laughable and doesn’t make sense at all
I think you need to examine if you are a racist or not very very carefully

Hithere

Two outrageous stories, US based, posted within one hour difference.... and it is Friday night

Exactly my thoughts.

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I didn't continue to view my opinions. I dropped the subject as soon as the disagreement started. I certainly never did and never would talk about anything political with the children around.

I have apologised many times though. I have apologised in an email, a letter, a message and to her face. But all to no avail. It is a very strange and unbelievable situation. Heartbreaking

That never crossed my mind.

The protests I am talking about were in the UK too at that time. I wasn't thinking about the US but the UK.
It is so sad and unnecessary for anyone to behave violently when demonstrations take place. That is all I said, and it caused my daughter to decide to keep the children from us.

I am in the UK. Not American. All I suggested was that people protest in peace not violently. My daughter and her husband both had different views about it. Apparently, my husband and I are racist because we wanted peace, not anger.
Everyone seems to get a label nowadays if they disagree with anything. Why, it is awful.

I understood both sides but not the violence, upheaval and disruption. I discussed what was going on calmly and said that what we were all witnessing on our TV screens was out of order and had gone too far. That people needed to calm down before anyone got hurt.
Surely that was no reason to ban us from contact with our grandchildren?

The thing is, we never ever discussed politics or anything like it when the grandchildren were around. All we did was to play with them, read them stories, and take them to the park etc. All fun, family things. Making memories.

Two outrageous stories, US based, posted within one hour difference.... and it is Friday night

Is this maybe a republican Trump supporter issue, q anon, etc?

One party is red and other one is blue?

Covid, blm, statues down...
Where do you stand?

Where do they?

BLM, statues being pulled down etc... Many make a mistake when they clasify it as political and therefore debatable... however it is not, it is moral...

Which side were you on? That matters

If you are on the side of BLM etc then, I can understand you being desperately worried for your grandchildren.

If you are against those things and have morally bankrupt views then, 1. How could you possibly put holding onto your opinion before your daughter and grandchildren? 2. I would not want children around those opinions and I would not want to be around someone who would continue to express those opinions towards me even though it is upsetting.

I am very sorry for you, but I must ask, were the views you disagreed about racist on your part? You bring up BLM. If so maybe they dont want their children subjected to it. If it is the other way round I apologise.
Also you mentioned covid, I know a family that fell out about it, especially as one was a anti Vaxer.
I know you feel alful but you dont talk about apologising, you just say let's agree to disagree. Maybe the argument goes deeper with your daughter and her husband.
I hope you get a resolution soon.

Seems like you are in the US. I saw this scenario happen quite a bit during Covid and the 2020 election when reading on forums related to estrangement.

I wish I had some advice for you. Politics are very firmly held beliefs in many people now and can be very explicit and steadfast in their beliefs.

Do you have any other adult children?
If so, what is their view?

Sorry to hear you ard in such distress - I think you should speak to your GP and see if you can arrange some counselling.

i can understand your daughter not wanting her children to be around attitudes that she finds obnoxious.
she doesn't want them to take on such attitudes.
sorry you feel upset but it does sound as if you think you can sweep it under the carpet and just carry on as before.
and your daughter is about to have her 3rd child.
interesting that you term this event as your 3rd GC.
have you tried counselling, or consulted your doc.

Hmmm, maybe. I don't know, but family have also suggested that too. It's cruel and did not need to end up like this. Whenever I suggest we move on and agree to disagree, she says I am sweeping it all under the carpet. But I am not, I just don't want all of this hurt and upset. The poor children do not get a choice in all of this. I pray and hope they will come and find us when they are old enough.
I have been writing letters to them and saving them for when they are older. That's OK isn't it?

Family members think it could be her husband making these decisions, but I believe my daughter is strong enough to stand up for herself and I don't think it's down to her husband