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Fostering

(10 Posts)
NanaPlenty Thu 04-Apr-13 10:24:31

My husband has taken early retirement and we decided we would like to try fostering. Our adult children seem quite worried about this. I feel some of this is because they want us to be free to see them when they need us although the reality is that we see each of them probably only once a month! We have a gap in our lives that fostering might fill. Does anyone else have any experience of this situation? (Confused)

Mishap Thu 04-Apr-13 10:43:01

I do not have personal experience, but it sounds a worthwhile plan. Maybe you should find out more about exactly what it entails and then you could discuss further with your family when in possession of full facts - it would be good if they could be on board with the plan.

whenim64 Thu 04-Apr-13 10:44:48

Yes, NanaPlenty my sister still fosters at the age of 62, and with the help and support of her retired husband, who is 66. They are both ready to stop and retire when the child they are currently fostering goes to a permanent home. There is extensive training first, to determine whether you are suited to fostering, as there are many issues to learn about with Looked After Children.

Over the years, they have cared for children with violent, abusive and substance addicted parents. They take children to contact meetings, meet with adoptive parents, grieve for the loss when each child happily moves on, or returns to rehabilitated parents, and manage all the safeguarding factors, such as not leaving a Looked After Child with babysitters unless they are CRB checked and approved by social services, which means the rest of the family tend to socialise with them around circumstances that suit each child.

It's a challenging, physically demanding vocation. My sister and her husband deserve a medal for the way they have unconditionally loved and cherished many children I coudn't have done it myself, especially at retirement age.

Grannylin Thu 04-Apr-13 11:04:11

I looked at fostering when my children left home. As you have explained when, there is far more involved than 'filling a gap' and I am full of admiration for anyone taking it on. You are right, they do deserve a medal flowers

nightowl Thu 04-Apr-13 13:10:20

I carry out assessments of prospective foster carers NanaPlenty and as when says, there is a lot to it. One of the things that is considered in any assessment is the attitude of the wider family, so it is important that your adult children are on board with this. You may find that they are reassured when you have more information to share with them. Fostering is very challenging but very rewarding and many successful carers are people like yourself who have brought up their own families and now feel they have time and love to share.

Have you looked at the Fostering Network? Their website has a lot of information and links to fostering providers where you can make further enquiries. Basically the options are to foster either with the local authority or with an independent fostering agency. There are pros and cons of each. I am happy to provide further information if you need it but there is lots online. Good luck flowers

NanaPlenty Thu 04-Apr-13 19:58:23

Thanks to u all for your kind messages. We are part way through completing our fostering application and it was more the issue of our own childrens attitudes that concerned me (none of them are at home). Hopefully things will get ironed out and we will give fostering our best shot!

nightowl Thu 04-Apr-13 20:08:43

I wish you every success with your application NanaPlenty. The assessing social worker will have to speak to your adult children at some stage as a matter of routine so hopefully that will help them to understand what fostering entails. Do tell us how your application goes!

shysal Fri 05-Apr-13 09:50:03

I used to be a foster carer who did respite care involving disabled children and teenagers, giving their parents a well-deserved rest or holiday. This involved the same families every time, so a good relationship was built up. It meant that visits to us were spaced out and could revolve around our work and family life. I miss it, but divorce and moving to a tiny house brought it to an end.
I hope it works out well for you,NanaPlenty

glammanana Fri 05-Apr-13 11:03:53

I also hope all goes well for you NanaPlenty my DD is a foster mum to a sweet little man who has slight learning difficulties which now seem to be ironing themselves out now he has one to one care from all members of the family,she also had a phone call two weeks ago in the middle of the night to help with a baby whose mum had been taken into hospital and she had her for a total of 10hrs whilst her grandparents drove up to take care of her,so it is a very worthwhile vocation something that I feel I could not do at my time of life,but every good wish for you both in the future.

grannyactivist Fri 05-Apr-13 17:18:04

Hello NanaPlenty I'm currently fostering two brothers aged 16 and 17 and the truth is that I do find it tiring, but I'm very pleased to be doing it.