Too much support?

Definitely unpaid leave and at at her staff appraisal suggest that she cuts her hours down as her absences are having a detrimental affect on her work and the team? Performance manager her out?

It’s very common behavior, managers are often not willing to confront an employee who is clearly not pulling his/her weight. It’s very tricky, get it wrong and you end up with an unfair dismissal case, unless an employee has a clear achievement or performance target, dismissal can be hazardous.
As you seem to be a team manager or leader in a larger organization you should report to your superiors and let them deal with it. Often the easiest way is to have a reorganization, reduce staffing levels and pay any redundancy due to those leaving.
Being a manager is hard you need to motivate your colleagues to be productive but you are paid by the boss to do that effectively and sometime hard decisions have to be made, getting involved in personal problems makes that more difficult.

People shouldn't bring their problems to work. They are there to do a job and nothing else. Jobs aren't counselling services. Too much me, me, me now unless it's an absolute emergency like a very close family member dropped down dead unexpectedly! Use holiday allowance only for time off or make up any time lost.

MissAdventure, unpaid leave is fine. I'd have happily taken unpaid leave in Spain. Although they always paid me. So generous!

I think there is a limit, and it has been reached.

Its really not fair on the other staff, who no doubt have their own problems, but presumably try, at least, not to let it affect their work.

I think perhaps unpaid leave may be the way to go.

I had similar issues during the year I worked in Spain. My daughter, who had an accidental pregnancy, had to come to live with me because she'd got really bad hyperemesis gravidarum and couldn't cope on her own.

It was the first year I'd been at the school and I had to constantly have time off to take daughter to the hospital / check ups / scans, then the birth. Afterwards she had serious health issues and was hospitalised three times.

All through it, my school were very understanding and kind and generous. They'd even arranged to 'employ' my daughter because without paid employment in Spain she wasn't entitled to Spanish healthcare.

Thank god they were so kind. We would never have coped if they hadn't been. It enabled me to finish the school year with them and support my students through to their exams.

I was similarly lucky when I had cancer, 10 years ago in the UK. My school then were unfailingly kind and supportive.

This is life. We need to support people when times are hard. It can happen to anyone.

I guess you need to be firmer with her. It doesn't sound very fair on the rest of your team.

I guess you need to be firmer with her. It doesn't sound very fair on other people in the team.

In general, I'm not one to withdraw support for any reason as people who need thatt support don't 'recover' overnight and often have ongoing problems (and anyone with a 14 and a new Mum of 18 is bound to have).

But her daughters are not your problem either and she seems to be getting qualified help elsewhere.

It's clear you don't like her very much so the atmosphere with your team (who also have problems, as have you- is the whole place falling apart?) must be grim and unhelpful now you all seem to think she's taking advantage.

A kindly word is all you can offer and if she's the only one available to look after her grandchild, there is no way she is going to be the reliable staff member you need. She'll have to accept that.
Tell her she can come back when baby is at school.

Oh, wait, the 14 year old could go off the rails as well!
You're all doomed!

Work out just how much time this person has had off while everyone has tried to be helpful. I think you will be shocked and amazed just how much it is.

I think you then need to call a formal meeting with her (with a member of HR present) and discuss the issue. Tell her that any further leave will have to be unpaid and that if she cannot return to work full time within three months, her employment will have to be terminated.

I have seen these situations before when I was working and in the end the employee had to face the fact that if doing their job was not compatible with their domestic circumstances, they would have to leave the job and look to the DSS for financial support.

You are not social services or the DSS to be using your company's money to subsidise her domestic problems.

It's difficult isn't it when you really understand the problems and want to help Dee1012
I would think you have done all you can and the rest of the team need support now.
The lady concerned has to deal with her family issues but not at the expense of her colleagues.

I worked for private sector for most of my working life in small offices where not pulling your weight was frowned upon and you were expected to put plans in place to deal with @ny domestic issues. They would be accommodating up to a point and for a certain time but after that, you’d be ‘let go’.

However, on entering the public sector I found it surprising that people were ‘booking sick’ for any similar issues, all without a murmur from HR! Only after 3 such instances in 12 months would anything be said, and even then the procedures for dealing with things were long and drawn out.

Then she will have to give up working.There is no way to do both is there?
The situation is not your concern, even though as responsible employers you want to do the right thing, you are not a charity.Giving this worker flexitime is the best you can do, but she will have to shoulder her own work not leave it to colleagues.Good luck.

Thank you all for your responses...prior to my absence, we'd met and discussed the way forward and had actually reduced her working pattern to allow her time to support her family.
My colleague was aware of this but was told that there is now involvement of social services (with her daughter) and she's the only person who can look after her first grandchild...
I'm returning to work next week so wanted a plan of action in my head to deal with this.

Unless her DD is actually ill, she should be able to look after her baby at home herself while her mother is at work.
It all sounds as if this team member has got too used to you
Being understanding and is taking advantage of everyone.
This needs to be pointed out to her in diplomatic language.

Mmmm! If this person worked for the public sector, i.e. NHS she would have got one incidence of compassionate leave of two days and then told that she would have to use her annual leave! It's amazing how quickly employees get things sorted out when faced with that criteria!

My concern is that the issues are continuing and it's having a detrimental effect on the rest of the team who are 'picking up the slack'.

That is your answer; you cannot continue allowing this woman to have indefinite support; unsurprisingly, it is impacting on her colleagues and eighteen months support is more than enough.
A review of her position and an offer of part-time work is the only option; you have been more than generous, and you must consider the rest of the team.

I would say that it depends on the company and the resources. However there are some people who are quite happy to let others take up the slack. You do seem to have been accommodating to this employees needs but the rest of the team may have had enough. Perhaps it's time to have a discussion with this member of staff about their role, making it clear that while it's not their fault that they have these issues the work is their responsibility. It might be worth asking what measures they intend to take so that they can assume their full range of duties. If not then maybe suggest a reduction in hours so that another person can be employed to cover the role. This may be a way forward when they commit to the job, if the pay packet is possibly reduced.

I knew someone who once managed to take two years off after breaking her wrist!

I can see the problem OP. When people want extended time off for things like parental or compassionate leave, a line is often drawn between paid time off and unpaid leave. Might it possible to invoke this? Or, might she be offered the opportunity to change to part time work or a job share if the job allows?

Just giving her these options might make her think.

Blimey you've got some patience for someone who's clearly enjoying the attention she's getting. I'd be using a different approach though it wouldn't be in the book of PC instructions.

You can only go so far and do so much for people like this.

I agree with Tanith perhaps its time to bring her performance appraisal forward and have a structured discussion and agree a way forward.

Sounds lo
like she’s taking the pxxx and it’s starting to cause bad feeling and resentment in the team perhaps you could point out to her that there is limit to the leeway you are allowed to give before you need to refer the problem up the chain.

Thanks for your message tanith, in all honesty HR isn't that great!
They'll refer you to the 'policy' which is very vague and woolly.
In this person's case, I also think that there is an element of manipulation going on, particularly with her colleagues.
She's one of those people who blame everyone or everything else for a problem!.

Do you have an HR you could discuss the ongoing issues with? They should be able to discuss where the company stands on continuing support.