Making me ill

So glad things are looking up for Evie64. I've just joined this forum as I'm thinking of making a career change.

Thanks girlies

Think of it like this, put your hand in a bucket of water, take it out and have a look. Nobody would know you had ever been there, right? A job is a job. None of us are irreplaceable. Do what you have to do that is best for YOU.

(cross posted) Isn't it funny how people suddenly sit up and notice how much you do - when you're not there!

Good news Evie so glad things have worked out for you, good luck for the future.

I think I'd ask for part time or reduced hours work. They would have to get somebody else in (probably full time) and your workload would then be lighter. You can't possibly squeeze your previous level of work into the shorter hours. Do not make yourself ill as it's just not worth it.

Evie64

Evie I am glad you have had such a happy outcome.

Hello all my lovely gransnetters who have been soooo kind and supportive. I took 2 weeks off work with stress. Just to update you on my situation. They have at last interviewed and employed someone who will start with us on 6th Jan, after the Christmas holidays, so things are at last looking up. In the meantime, I have "taken a step back" and no longer take my job so seriously, nobody dies if I'm not there so why should I worry so much? In the meantime, my husband will get his pension in January so I'm thinking of cutting my hours down as I'll be able to afford to. I might even retire but will need a plan to fill my time, probably voluntary work. In any event, I'm much happier, thanks to you lot. So once again, thank you so much for your advice.

It is very sad. One of my grandchildren was at an Academy some years ago and the teaching standard was shockingly bad.
Also you have to buy the school uniform at their school shop. It was very expensive, No generic clothes form supermarkets allowed. My friends with ordinary schools didn't believe it could be that way.

We know now don't we.
Next question why isn't this being opposed and stopped.

Evie64 I agree. It's been a massive scam at the expense of the taxpayer. The pay these people are getting are quite ridiculous - makes MPs' salaries pale into insignificance.

Hi Pinkquartz. Business Manager? Well, it's the "Academy Trust way"! Academy Trusts are businesses with very overpaid fat cats at the top of the tree, so you will find Business Managers in all schools that have been coerced into joining an academy trust. When our school joined the first one, there was a whole staff meeting to explain what, when and why. I stood and asked "but what's in it for us?" The answer I got was that we needed to "jump before the government pushed us". It's the way they want all schools to go. Turns out there really wasn't anything in joining that has benefited our school as far as I can see. Benefited the fat cats though.

OP yes you definitely must take care of yourself.

I am horrified though that a school has a new business manager? what for?
sorry for the off tangent question.

I agree with those who say you need to see your GP and explain how stressed and depressed you are. I don't think you need to "lay it on with a trowel". Your description of how you feel - frequent bouts of crying and feelings of dread - are surely enough to demonstrate to your GP that you are in no fit state to work.

I think you should make full notes of what has been happening - for example the complete lack of communication and respect shown before and after the meeting you just described. I believe within employment law there is a requirement for staff to be consulted and kept fully informed if major changes are occurring. Your union should be able to advise you.

Thank you all or your advice and incredibly kind words, it's really helped me put things into perspective. You're right of course, and I have a GP appointment in a couple of weeks time (the earliest I could get!). The powers that be shuffled in on Thursday, shuffled into the meeting room. Admin team not invited. After 2 hours, they shuffled out again and left. Didn't even have the decency to come and talk to any of us. Appalling dereliction of their "duty of care". Yesterday the new business manager had a 5 minute chat with us all (whilst the phones were still ringing and parents at the desk to be dealt with). She said that they were "hoping" to get an advert out to replace the full time member of staff within the next month and do we all want to do extra hours in the meantime. NO, we don't! I am actually feeling better because instead of being a weeping snotty mess, I am now bloody angry, which is a good deal healthier. How dare they make me feel like this! In any event, I will plod on and not take on any extra work, I'll work my contracted hours and not a minute more. I'll contact Unison to see if they can help and if things don't improve I'll go off with work related stress. As for the husband, the plan was always once I retire, I'd look for some voluntary work locally, perhaps Age Concern or the like? Thanks again to all of you. You really have made me see some sense. xx

If you can limp on until you reach retirement age and can claim your state pension, with a husband not working you may be able to claim Pension Credit, which, even if it is not the maximum amount, is worth having. Have a look on the government’s Pension Credit web page, there’s a calculator on there that will give you a rough idea of how much you might be entitled to. It certainly helped us when I retired but my Toy Boy (two years younger) DH was not working.

Agree with others Look after yourself. Go off on stress and don’t feel guilty. believe me you will need longer than a week. I don’t want to sound harsh but I know from personal experience, ultimately we are a number. I worked all hours as and went to work when not well enough. Then made redundant ...

Have you posted on the wrong thread?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Do not feel guilty...look after you. Can you work on a bank so you choose the hours? Yep, off sick with work related stress. Do not walk away with nothing. Once you are I'll health retired....Put yourself first! I asked to reduce my hours 10 years ago due to being a carer...answer was no...next day I handed my notice in!... was told not to be hasty they would work something out! Best thing I did was to walk away.

quite shocked to read this, for sure.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I agree with others who have said that you should not be working to provide an inheritance for your children. It's time to look after you if at all possible. On the job front, I found joining an agency to do temporary work extremely effective. I did this when I moved 400 miles at the age of 70, partly to earn money and partly to get to know people in my new location. I got plenty of work and one assignment led to a permanent part time job, which at the age of 75 I am still holding down! So nil desperandum, there are opportunities out there. I wish you well, not least in your desire to have a life away from a tricky husband. Being unhappy at home is no joke. Look after yourself, you have earned the right to put yourself first for a change. All the very best to you.

We do not have to leave inheritance for our children, I brought my 2 on my own, i then sold my house and now rent son is very good to me not so daughter, I worked 60/70 hours a week, I have done my share I now spend money on me if there is any left when I go they are welcome to it just sure I kept some back in case I need care

You could also while you are away sick deal with the lazy other half. A few home truths and maybe a work to rule. I am sure your children would not want your money which is risking your health.

Do you have any outside interests that you could go to during the day to leave your husband to it.

When you are sorted at work then is the time to take stock of your marriage, do you still want it? But don't try to do everything at once.