Usurped at work by younger person

Some very good ideas here, @lifebeginsat60. I recognise the feelings in a slightly different context in that I would watch my suggestions being ignored whilst others, usually men, would make the same suggestion later and be applauded and entrusted with the project. I coped by deciding that the project was not 'meant' for me and looked for something else I wanted to achieve that really needed doing but may not have the 'glamour'/high profile of my other proposals. The upside was that the first proposal was achieved by someone and that the less attractive one I took on was also carried out (by me). The downside was that the first proposals were often not completed for lack of knowledge amongst those who took them on in the field such as Aids/HIV awareness raising or setting up a support group for men(!). However, never having aspired to management and all its tediousness, I recognised that these failures were a disappointment but not my responsibility....

I worked in Human Resources and went out to outlying areas of our work to interview people and help people back to work after their period of sickness. I did a good job and was well liked. On returning to the office two young colleagues (21 and 18 yr olds) had been altering the computer system. When I queried how to use it I was asked by my manager 'are you losing the plot'. I was humiliated in front of the smirking girls. It was at that moment I resolved to retire, and I've never looked back. I've done a variety of interesting little jobs (paid and unpaid) and met lots of nice people, all of which I've really enjoyed.
My advice - don't stick around to be undermined, you're worth so much more.

I think it is important to take copies of everything. I had the sense to do this after being “ seen off” in the past. It was invaluable as my boss did not pass on the report I wrote. That could have been nasty. Also keep a diary. You are probably too nice and soft like Iwas. Took me a long time to learn. Other people use your ideas. Good luck.

Really sorry you feel undermined, but don't allow that to affect your self-esteem. You've been railroaded, but it's not a reflection of your usefulness or worth - separate the two.
What they did was unpleasant - some people behave that way which doesn't make it acceptable. They just don't have the skills to handle change diplomatically. Are you worried that they may be trying to edge you out? Would that be difficult for you financially? Can you check the details of your pension/s? Whatever you can do like this to ease your worries might be helpful. But apart from that, remember that it's not you that has created a difficult situation. You are still the same useful person you always were.

In your place, I would ask my boss for a private interiew.

When this takes place, I would tell him what you have said here about how you experienced the meeting, where in your estimation you were swept aside and your usual work role handed to someone else.

I am not say that you are wrong in feeling that this is exactly what happened, but it should make the interview more constructive if you start by saying that this is your experience of that meeting.

Ask him to tell you precisely in a couple of days from the interview what tasks he wants you to take on, now that the ones you have done for so long and been content to do have been handed over to someone else.

If he waffles about not knowing what you will be doing, tell him that you need to know precisely where you stand.

If he denies that your former work has been taken over by anyone else, tell him that that is hardly the case.

If you want, you can also ask him whether this change should be seen by you as criticism of the way you have done your work.

From his point of view, he has to prepare for the fact that you will enivitably retire in the course of the next couple of years.

He neither can nor should be entirely unprepared for your doing so, but it would have been more tactful to have asked you to include a younger member of staff in your area of expertise in preperation for the day when you retire.

I would have some suggestions ready for what I could take on as my work now that I have been so inconsiderately relieved of the work I had been accustomed to doing.

Point out that the way this was done was unprofessional and unkind.

I realise you risk his saying it might be better if you left, but you are surely entitled to state that you have no intention of doing so before you qualify for the higher pension on such-and- such a date.

If it all goes sideways, he will have to justify firing you. I doubt that ageismn is a valid ground and he will surely find it difficult to prove that you were not performing your job to his satisfaction. After all if that were the case you were entitled to at least one warning before changes were made.

You say this is not a union matter. In your place I would get onto my union at once - they may well have some helpful advice.

Very wise words from Peasblossom. I was in a similar, though different situation, in the last couple of years at work. I took the opportunity to start making work less important in my life. This really helped when I came to retire. I had been a bit of a workaholic and wondered how I would be when I wasn't working any more. I didn't miss work nearly as much as I had expected when the time came. Experience isn't valued as much as it might be. Peasblossom is right, it isn't about you, though of course it feels personal. New bosses often want things done in a different way so that they can prove their own worth. They tend to assume older workers are set in their ways or coasting towards retirement and look to younger employees for fresh ideas. If you can, embrace the good ideas from your colleague's proposal and let your experience add value to them, offered in a supportive, team player spirit. That may well confound how they expected you to respond and cause them to reflect on their own behaviour. We can but hope! Alternatively, as Peasblossom suggests, tell your boss you'd like a new challenge, and put forward a proposal of your own.

Like everyone above, I wanted to offer some kind words and there is great advice above.

Also by writing it down and keeping a log - it does take some of the weight from your shoulders.

Are there any opportunities to do an informal lunchtime “stroll for exercise” or coffee or out of hours activity with any of those colleagues you regard as friends, keep the chat light - and see if they bring the subject up or raise any insight that helps?

When it happened to me I crumbled and subconsciously reacted and behaved as a victim. I resolved similar issues by faking it and giving myself a talking to - shoulders back, walk tall, smile, look happy, look confident, be breezy, light and friendly (I was feeling none of it inside, but forcing it helped preserve my own position in the workplace)

This rings a bell for me too, although it was an older colleague who manipulated our manager to give her my job when I went off sick with stress from lack of staff. I was in my early 50’s.
She had been after my job for 2 years, according to another colleague and was given 3 extra staff on appointment.
I put up with working for her for another 3 years as I was so lacking in confidence and self esteem. She wasn’t interested in learning from my expertise and micro managed me the whole time.
My solution was to get a transfer to another department, where the manager had a good reputation for looking after her staff. It was the best thing I could have done as together we made a success of the department and it was the only department in a very large organisation that met its targets the year I retired. So I left on a high.
By the way I agree with easybee last paragraph, though it took me a while to realise it.
peasblossom too has some excellent advice. I wish I knew
about Gransnet then, I could have done with the support!

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing age discrimination. I’m sharing my story with you from a looking back position. I recognise all that you say.Please don’t let them push you out. We can’t control the actions of others only ourselves. Only ourselves my advice would be to take as many steps as you can in order to protect yourself. For me leaving with dignity ie accepting being pushed out didn’t pay the bills at home. I had to protect myself by documenting everything on a daily sometimes hourly basis. The worst mistake I decided I could make was to think that I was indispensable after 19 years of service. I was in the legal profession but working from home so anything that went wrong was attributed to me even files re clients I had never ever heard of let alone had in my possession. Again a younger woman saw a good job opportunity ie my job and as she was right under the bosses nose , younger , more energy and bringing this and that to the bosses attention re my so called mistakes I was becoming stuck in a heap of exaggerated at best or lies at worse leading to me becoming a less desirable employee than my colleague.
They even constructed a piñata in the office gave it my name and whacked it with a big stick whenever I was being blamed for non existent faults. So I documented every interaction every piece of work I did in my diary etc etc. I worked unsociable hours which left me with no other way . Then I started to recieve those dreaded emails so and so had to do this on your file you didn’t complete this that. All lies as I had passed it on to so and so when there was no more that I could do during my working hours on a case ie normal procedure. So presumably so and so said I hadn’t etc. You must keep records at home even though all you want to do is cry. They constructed a so called case against me. Disciplinary proceedings were then introduced. When I was called out for not answering the out of hours phone on a certain time/ date at the hearing. I was able to point out I was on annual leave and holding my mothers hand as she died from cancer I thought they would give up harassing me. But no by this point in their minds I was trouble. Having failed to present a case of misconduct . The following week I was asked to attend another meeting . At that meeting redundancy papers were served on me and that was that I was out. I was 52 it made me so ill that I am now registered as a disabled Pierson. I should have left and claimed constructive dismissal but losing my best friend ie my mum plus the weight of the stress meant I was too ill. So it’s so important to keep records of all your interactions with work. You are being discriminated against get advice from your union or Accas or The CAB . Go down fighting but make yourself look amendable and cooperative with your employee. Look like goody 2shoes but keep records as priofvvvv vvvv

According to my husband who worked in HR any changes that might impact on your employment custom and practice, whilst the employer can change things they do need to be at minimum with proper consultation and possibly negotiation. Despite what you say about this not being a union issue, you need union advice, if only to give you confidence. You cannot fight this by yourself. Best wishes .

I was extremely unhappy in my job as I approached retirement as my line manager was suspended over ridiculous complaints, then left despite being reinstated. She was not replaced but her 2 undermanagers took on the extra workload. This inevitably meant more work pushed in everyone else's direction. One was a bully, who was partly responsible for my line manager's departure, and was universally disliked by all the department.

Then came the pandemic! Working from home, doing training courses online with retirement only months away seemed pointless, and actual work was minimal. I really missed my colleagues. In the end, instead of retiring last summer as planned, I went back in September when schools returned, and retired at half term. I couldn't face retiring from lockdown and wanted a proper send-off, which I got. Since retirement I've done a couple of spells of casual work, first invigilating in the same school (with no contact with the bully), and I'm currently working on the census for a month. I'll be invigilating again soon too.

There are part time jobs to be had, as well as short term casual opportunities, so maybe consider leaving earlier than planned if you can afford it. Otherwise try to stay as positive as possible and keep looking for an escape route that may appear. Being retired has been strange during lockdown as many of the things I'd planned have been impossible. I wish you well whatever you decide to do.

I’ve seen this happen numerous times to excellent workers (usually, I’m sad to say, females) being overseen and usurped by inexperienced but youthful and novel newcomers. It’s a disgrace and I hope as society learns to recognise and value older women it will be less prevalent. Could you look around for something else that would be still interesting and rewarding for yourself? I could see myself being very frustrated and angry in this situation, no way to end what I’m sure was a brilliant career.

Lifebeginsat60,. I was in the same situation. A new department was created where I worked , with a new post specifically designed for me and my 20 years of experience in the role. A young woman, new to the institution, was appointed head of the overall department. After a few months she suggested that I resign my senior position and work partime in a junior position. She did not want to lose 2 young members of the team and my 'demotion' would enable the younger women to improve their prospects. I of course refused to cooperate and situation became intolerable. Luckily I was known in my place of employment and was supported by colleagues. However, I was no longer happy in my role and I decided to retire earlier than planned. It transpired that this was the best course of action to take. I was no longer enjoying a job I had loved and decided that the stress and unhappiness it was causing me was not worth it. I am not suggesting that you follow this course of action but it worked for me. I am now a volunteer, a researcher, in a museum and am enjoying my life and retirement. Do not let your situation take over your life.

I just want to wish you luck and happiness

Why not be the better person.support the youngster.After all being the new and younger member of staff is not easy. (I expect you found that once)Show her how a grown up behaves

I'm sorry that you have been upset by what has happenend at your work. I try to use the mantra in life that "if you can't change something change your reaction to it." In your situation I would do whatever made it easier for me to cope with. Personally I wouldn't be taking photos or gathering any evidence as this is all very negative and I wouldn't want to end my working days on such a sour note. If you have such a wealth of knowledge and expertise much better to be remembered for having done a brilliant suporting role and handover- than for causing unpleasantness.
I feel terribly sorry for the young these days - its difficult for them to get experience in the 1st place, and with pension ages being raised promotions can be delayed because we have a bulge at the other end. Add to this that they have been locked down to protect the elderly and infirmed and I think we owe them a debt of gratitude.
When we went into the work place there were jobs available and if you wanted to work you could its not the same now and hasn't been for some years.
Be kind to yourself and don't turn this into a battle.

Don’t forget the basics here, write in a notebook dates and times of instances that happens or make you feel uncomfortable.
You may be surprised how they mount up, it could be a form of bullying or singling out if it’s happening frequently or do you think your manager may fancy her

I could write a book about work situations like this! I was a freelance worker for various organisations.

Although I really didn't want to retire so soon, after a few episodes of what probably would be described as bullying from team leaders, I decided that working was no longer viable.

Even though I had a vast wealth of experience and knew my subject inside out, I felt that there were too many other people playing politics. It was hard at the time, but I left graciously, left no reason for leaving and planned my quiet exit. My income is lower but I am much happier.

It hurts sometimes when you notice the subtle ways in which some colleagues think that you are over the hill! It may happen to them eventually if they are still in employment. I worked hard, enjoyed my career but it was time to move on.
Look forward not backward and plan a new chapter.

Looking at this discussion, my own and my family’s experiences - ‘management’ can be really brutal.

I’d say don’t blame yourself, brilliant that you came here for some perspective, take advice that you feel suits you, and know that you there are some things you are in charge of. Good luck.

Sounds like having to 'fight for your position' is not a very healthy way to approach work every day. It is hard to find the energy or to lower your dignity to do this. I always upped and left as soon as there was a sniff of rivalry, competition or favouritism. I left them to it and found a place where I was appreciated
As for work colleagues keeping quiet? Maybe they too don't want to get embroiled in office politics and anything for the safe and easy life, they keep it under their hats
So maybe there are things about you that others find difficult to manage or appreciate. It is the most difficult thing to admit to ourselves when we have worked and succeeded this way for many years
I wonder if you can swallow your pride and look for work where you are respected and supported for what you have to offer?
Best of luck , you sound like an ideal employee to me!

Is this how you want to spend the rest of your time at work? Life is short. These people are obnoxious. I would be inclined to look at the worst possible scenario financially and see if I could possibly manage. This is taking back your power. If you could manage then you already have the power to walk away.
There is work out there for skilled and reliable people. You might choose to look at doing something part-time and indulge yourself in learning something new, joining one of the many organizations for older people , like U3A. lots of possibilities. My cousin was a nurse who spent the final 10 years at work in a major hospital being bullied by younger people who thought she was too stiff and starchy because she kept to the rules and would never see a patient short-changed. She retired two years early and has never been so happy. she helps out in a charity shop, she goes to the gym, she has lost a couple of stones in weight and has a decent sized social circle now. This could be the beginning of the next chapter in your life. Whatever you choose, choose what gives you joy.

Personally I'd sit back and let the younger take over completely until they screw up, which they will.. Then make it very public that you are going in to do the 'clear up.'
There is no accounting for age and experience on any level. If you're still getting paid for doing the same job sit back on your laurels my darling as you have earned it!!

My sympathies too. I had this happen to me in my last employment. I was headhunted for want of a better word but from the start of the job I was belittled and made to feel worthless by one particular staff member. Fortunately my Daughter had had her baby and I left before retirement for childcare reasons. I did tell them the real reasons behind my decision and why I didn’t want to work for that organisation any longer which gave me some sort of closure. It’s horrible, you sound too lovely to be treated in this manner.

This is hard to swallow as you believe you have been totally successful in your present role. I am sure you have been invaluable, but situations change. If I were you, I would send emails after each meeting to the relevant people, asking them to clarify what's been said. Sometimes when people read stuff that's been committed to print, it looks very stark and maybe unfair. It may make them re-word whats been said, in a kinder way, and may even make them think twice about how things are being projected to the staff.
If it was me, I would be withdrawing from all the decision making and planning, with my eye on my retirement. Then when you are approached to help them, which you undoubtedly will be, can insist you thought you were taking a back seat role, as new staff member is clearly a genius, and is coping so well. It's hard to let go of something you were an integral part of, but you may find, as you get older, it's nice to let go and take it easier. Good luck dear lady, take care

You are in a terrible position. One in which I found myself in as well. I wont even tell you that what you face with being sidelined is even possible to have to face everyday. I couldnt do it, so I retired. All the advice you have been given to hang in there is very sound practical advice. I just couldnt physically put it into practice everyday. I hope you can do it, else find a way to retire early. I love retirement, but admit it still stings when I think about how hard working and dependable I was, only to be cast off like an old shoe. Good luck to you in working thru this.