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People you work with - colleagues or friends

(15 Posts)
biglouis Fri 25-Mar-22 16:55:28

When I was in my 20s I became very friendly with some of the people I worked with. We went on holiday together and I spent my vacations with them when they koved abroad. One or two I am still in touch with - albeit online now.

However as I grew older and my life became more complex I felt that the people I worked with were simply colleagues with whom I did not wish to socialize outside. It was a way of detaching myself from office politics which is something I have always steered clear of.

More and more I became oriented to a job as somewhere you go, work the hours you are paid for, and then cast off as you walk out of the door. I think that this happens when you work with a customer or client group, as I always have. You get sick of people and their demands.

Oopsadaisy1 Fri 25-Mar-22 17:38:16

I think it’s an age thing ? at my last place of work the youngsters (20 somethings ) were always out with each other after work and weekends.
The older ones ( me included) couldn’t wait to get home and away from it all.

Judy54 Fri 25-Mar-22 18:05:32

I always liked to keep my working and social life separate. Not for everyone I know but it worked for me.

Sarahmob Fri 25-Mar-22 18:10:09

My best friend is somebody I met at work many years ago. We started as colleagues and a friendship developed. We no longer work together, but meet up every week for lunch or an outing. We’re going to see Johannes Radebe dance tomorrow.

Beanutz2115 Fri 25-Mar-22 18:14:43

I have just finished working as a carer for seven years, I couldn’t think of anything worse than socially connecting with my clients. Their demands on my energy and patience was enough during working hours let alone in my free time. There were a few carers who socialised.

GagaJo Fri 25-Mar-22 18:55:06

Both. I've made really good friends at work, but also, some colleagues I thought of as friends, turned out not to be when I left.

Blondiescot Fri 25-Mar-22 19:05:18

I have a handful of very close friends I've known for almost 40 years now who I met through work. I don't have many close friends and I don't make friends particularly easily, but we've been through a lot over the years.

Curlywhirly Fri 25-Mar-22 21:02:19

Some of my very best friends are my work colleagues. My all time best friend I met at secondary school, but 4 other really good friends I met at work. We go back to the 70s and although most of us are retired, we still meet up every few weeks. I'd be lost without them. Love 'em to bits.

welbeck Fri 25-Mar-22 21:15:44

Beanutz, but it's socialising with colleagues, not clients. don't think that would even be ethical, at least doubtful.
i knew of one who tried to get in with a client after the nhs funded care ended.
it concerned me, as i was doubtful of her motives.
the client thought i was being kind of ?jealous.
then one day the manager from that agency turned up but the client refused to see her.
the manager asked if ex-carer had visited after the contract ended, as they had to let her go as there were reports of items missing from clients' houses.
she had told us she chose to leave.

anyway, i guess in the OP, it would be socialising with other carers, eg if you did double up in domiciliary.

adaunas Fri 25-Mar-22 21:35:25

I regard fewer work colleagues as friends to socialise with now, probably an age thing, but some ex colleagues are still close friends.

welbeck Fri 25-Mar-22 21:40:27

our lives are fuller, more responsibilities as we age, so naturally less time or inclination to socialise with work mates.

biglouis Fri 25-Mar-22 23:58:45

I think this is true. As we age we acquire partners, children, mortgages and other responsibilities so there are a lot of spinning plates to keep up. Too many people all wanting a piece of us. At least thats how it feels.

Also as we get older we become more assertive about shedding the unsatisfactory work relationships, or at least developing techniques for keeping them at a distance. Mobile phones only came in the last few years of my employed years. I became quite expert as being "difficult to contact".

MissAdventure Sat 26-Mar-22 00:12:09

I never really felt the need to socialise with my colleagues, although I didn't dislike them, particularly.

They really weren't the sort of people I would choose as friends.
They were a funny old lot, I always thought.

PECS Sat 26-Mar-22 07:56:21

In different phases of one's life there are different demands on your time & energy. I had quite an established group of friends already when I started work but I am still in touch with one colleague from my very first job in the early 70s. I have kept in touch with several other colleagues but if what you have in common is the work you do then once you are not working there is less to bond you. Of course sometimes you hit it off with a colleague or two beyond the common interest of work & become good friends.. I have a handful of those friends too.

Galaxy Sat 26-Mar-22 07:58:43

I have a number of friends from work from when I was young, I still work but dont have the time or energy to socialise with my current colleagues. I am sure its very lazy of me.