Is Volunteering a moral duty to "give something back"?

I dont think anyone has a "duty" once they retire. I have a relative who never recovered from a stroke they suffered 9 years ago. She spends a lot of her time in bed watching TV because it allows her to save on heating. She says she has "nothing to get up for" most of the time.

In some ways I envy her the ability to abdicate responsibility but i would die of boredome. Watching TV for hours is a passive activity and not enough for me. Even when I do have it on Im often doing something else - packing parcels for customers, sorting stock, cleaning antique jewellery and so on.

Saying that it's a moral duty makes a lot of assumptions, and not everyone's life is or was the same. I think we have a duty to give back throughout our life, according to our circumstances and capacity at the time. That doesn't have to include formal volunteering and can be small actions that go unnoticed by many.

I feel no moral responsibility whatsoever.

I have paid tax since I was 16 (and still do, along with NI from my part-time role). I held various volunteer roles when I was working, including both professional ones where I lent my expertise, and running cubs and beavers where I 'got my hands dirty'. I do other bits and pieces when asked, and run a monthly class which I teach at no charge (in fact I pay the rent on the room) but am enjoying the freedom to go away when I want to (which we do a lot), so I am not available to commit to doing anything else on a regular basis.

I'm not yet a (state) pensioner, but when I get my pension I will be confident that I have earned it, and see no reason to feel morally deficient for not volunteering to do any more. Maybe if/when I give up work altogether I will find something voluntary that allows me to do the equivalent of work from home, but maybe I will just put my feet up and enjoy doing nothing much. Maybe the Tories will scrap the state pension and I'll have to find something to pay the bills, like everyone else. It's nobody's business but mine though, and whatever happens, my conscience will be clear.

Casdon

I’ve read the Mumsnet thread, there’s one controversial post near the beginning, which lots of posters requoted saying they disagreed. The vast majority said they didn’t think volunteering could or should be compulsory, and were supportive of retirees making their own choices. I’m not sure who the ‘they’ you’re referring to is GagaJo, but there was little evidence of resentment on the Mumsnet thread.

Clearly those referenced in the quote from Callistemon.

I retired at 64 after working hard for 40 years in the NHS . I was fit and healthy and had intended to volunteer, but my mother aged 95 suddenly needed more care and support. My DH also was very ill and nearly died from Sepsis . After my mother died aged 96 , within months my DH was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I cared for him until he died just before the Pandemic. Last year I developed a sudden arthritic hip and had a replacement done 6 months ago . Now I need cataract surgery . I will be 73 soon and feel I have lost years and don’t think I have the energy to volunteer anymore . I agree that we should “give back” but You never know what is just around the corner and how life can change at a flick of the fingers.

A ‘moral duty’ to volunteer? ?

No, I don’t think so as I find generalisations about such things can’t account for individual circumstances. I know people who live lives of kindly intent, but would be unable, for a variety of reasons, to take on a volunteering role.

I have now reached a time where I am trying very hard not to feel guilty that for the first time in my adult life I have no formal voluntary role. I continue to have carer’s responsibilities for three relatives and an additional four people, but compared to my voluntary work that feels like very little.

I suppose I think of ‘duty’ differently to simply being a good neighbour or helpful friend.

What a load of rot. How dare people think they can dictate to others? People give to their community in many ways, and I admire those I can see doing that. I also admire those I can't see but who help those around them in their day-to-day life, as and where they can.

My only "duty" is to be independent as I can be, for as long as I can be. I want that so I am not a burden on my children.

Being told to "volunteer" is not on. That's not volunteering; it's conscription. Like others, I give back (and forward) in the ways I can. What a judgemental lot Mumsnet must be. The only person judging me will be my conscience and God, if there is one.

Just what is it that we are supposedly “giving back”? Will someone come along and explain that please, because as far as I’m concerned, I don’t feel I “took anything” whilst holding down a full time career to now have to “give back”. What I did do when working in paid employment, like anyone else in paid employment, was contribute to society by paying tax (which, incidentally, many of us who are retired still do), paid national insurance, worked long hours, often over and above what I was actually paid for, and quite honestly contributed a heck of a lot to the economy (and still do, as we all do, every time we buy something). I feel that I’ve earned my retirement.

I refuse to be guilt tripped into feeling I should continue working (in a voluntary capacity or paid) because someone out there (whoever that someone is) believes I should be “giving something back”.

If someone wants to volunteer, fine. If someone doesn’t, that’s equally fine. What’s not fine is these sanctimonious busy bodies trying to dictate how others should choose to spend their retirement years.

I’ve read the Mumsnet thread, there’s one controversial post near the beginning, which lots of posters requoted saying they disagreed. The vast majority said they didn’t think volunteering could or should be compulsory, and were supportive of retirees making their own choices. I’m not sure who the ‘they’ you’re referring to is GagaJo, but there was little evidence of resentment on the Mumsnet thread.

No I don't feel any obligation to do so and I don't think that anyone else should. I wanted to when I first retired, also cared for grandchildren. Now I am a full time carer and that's enough.

This is a terrible time to be 30/40.

It wasn't so brilliant when I was 30 to 40 either!

Wonder if those on Mumsnet criticising us greedy boomers will feel the same when it’s their turn

Except it won't be their turn for much longer than it was for most boomers. They won't be retiring at the same age. They'll be working almost 10 years longer. It isn't a level playing field.

The resentment against boomers isn't selfish or unrealistic. Young people are angry about a whole range of things that they have harder. This is a terrible time to be 30/40. And yes, they do look to the older generation and see us as having had it much easier than them.

* I doubt if the claim was genuine as my telephone friend spoke very nicely and the "daughter" had a very unpleasant regional accent. Perhaps I am just being a snob at being talked down to by someone whose way of speaking hinted at their being in a very different social position.*

Well, don’t you sound like an absolute delight.

The shop I volunteer in is such a happy place and because it is the customers are happy it has a lovely feel to it a lot of people remark as such the enjoyment and feel of fulfilment at doing a good job is good for me as well as the charity
The other volunteering I do is looking after two beds in a local park which are planted with herbs for the community to use something else I m very passionate about So in many ways I m selfish because I get a lot for me out of my volunteering

I haven’t had a blessed life although all life is blessed so Mumsnet would get a run for their money off me I m afraid I bet their lives are a lot easier than mine has been

Margiknot

We can all 'give back' in different ways- volunteering is only one way- and there are many ways to help out/ give back without regular volunteering commitments.

Yes, I agree.

Cressy

I volunteer in a NT garden. I do it for myself if I’m honest. I spent many years whilst a working mum, running toddler groups, Beaver Scout groups, PTAs, School Governor etc. I think I’ve already given quite a bit back. Wonder if those on Mumsnet criticising us greedy boomers will feel the same when it’s their turn?

Wonder if those on Mumsnet criticising us greedy boomers will feel the same when it’s their turn?

Those whose children have fled the nest or even the newly retired don't seem to be coming forward at all Cressy.
DH volunteers but most of those who are willing are in their 80s - the 90+ year olds giving up with regret. Younger people just aren't coming forward.

I did more volunteering when I was younger and had more energy.

The answer is nobody should be obligated to do charity work. You either want to do it or you dont.
Why is the poster on MN singling out retired people.

Wonder if those on Mumsnet criticising us greedy boomers will feel the same when it’s their turn

Yes I often wonder that. As a young person I was taught to respect "my elders and betters" for what they had put into society not deride them for what little comfort and reward they got out of it in their later years.

During the pandemic I volunteered to regularly ring a number of housebound people and chat to them, or report back to the charity if they needed any physical help. I became very friendly with one lady. Then suddenly her "daughter" appeared on the line and claimed I was a busy body who was bothering her mother. The charity told me not to call any more and I believe social services became involved at some point but dont know any details.

I doubt if the claim was genuine as my telephone friend spoke very nicely and the "daughter" had a very unpleasant regional accent. Perhaps I am just being a snob at being talked down to by someone whose way of speaking hinted at their being in a very different social position.

That really put me off the "ring and chat" which is all I can realistically manage because of mobility issues. You never know when some unpleasant pushy relative will come oozing out from under a stone and accuse you of interfearing with their parent.

I volunteer in a NT garden. I do it for myself if I’m honest. I spent many years whilst a working mum, running toddler groups, Beaver Scout groups, PTAs, School Governor etc. I think I’ve already given quite a bit back. Wonder if those on Mumsnet criticising us greedy boomers will feel the same when it’s their turn?

I wouldn't consider any volunteering was a moral duty to give something back whatsoever.

I would view it as my choice to do X Y or Z to help someone, not a duty, more importantly a desire to help.

People below retirement age who state confidently that they intend to volunteer after retirement seem to imagine that they will be as fit, healthy and energetic as they are now. It doesn't work like that.

And why is it that volunteering for a charity that organised giving people lifts to hospital appointments is seen as so much more worthy and valuable than giving neighbours a lift if they need it.

I’ve volunteered for many different schemes/ projects over the years, took a break for a while and then in one of the many charity shops that I frequent ? I was approached by the manager who asked me if I could help with sorting donations.

I’d never wanted to help in one of the big name charities but this is a local charity and all the money stays in Southend.
No one is paid in our shop.

When I eventually retired after over forty years of paying a lot of tax and doing pro bono legal work alongside a very demanding career I was completely worn out. I donate to charity, as I always have, but no longer have the energy for voluntary work. My career and health conditions have robbed me of that.

Feeling a need to help others doesn't have to be miserable. All the volunteer work I have done I have done with organisations I have a keen interest in and doing work I really enjoy.

I worked pretty much full time all my working life, to the detriment of my health. I think during those years of nursing and then working in a charity pretty I pretty much paid my dues to society one way or another.
I’m not physically well enough to do much now so I actually object to the idea that we should be guilted into doing so.