Bullying at work

I've noticed some covert bullying here on GN to the extent that some posters are either ignored or cowed into silence by mass unbridled criticism and derision.

I've also noticed very little comment on this by other posters.

The few brave comments that are made are isolated too.

It's very interesting to me that the voices so loudly heard on these other popular threads are deafening silent on a thread such as this - out of date though it may be.

Very often on popular threads the prevailing opinion is repeated & supported ad nauseum with little or no proper discussion entered into with varying opinions.

Its boring.

No surprise posters are turning to the games threads in droves.

Does anyone else find this?

Or is it just me?

Today 00:01lemsip

'there are so few discussion threads that old ones are being dredged up when the op has long since left.'

I'm just noting the date of OP's last post now Lemsip and you're correct- she probably isn't reading this thread anymore.

However bullying is such a huge problem most people will take the opportunity to decry it.

The biggest problem with bullying is the collusion that seems to always accompany it.
Have the other workers no backbone or decency to call the bully out on this cowardly and despicable behaviour?

I am so sorry for the isolation you must experience in this situation OP
It is untenable.

Your employer once informed must know that until it is stopped AND publicly penalised he is not providing you with a safe place to work.

I say publicly as the colluders need to be made aware that their behaviour will not be tolerated either.

While this is all deeply unpleasant and unfair for you to have to go through I urge you to stay strong; these people are weak with unsatisfactory/unhappy lives - they see something in you that makes them feel their own deficits and react by ridiculing the very thing they secretly admire but believe they can't have.

They are to be pitied.

Let us know how things proceed and look after yourself.

there are so few discussion threads that old ones are being dredged up when the op has long since left.

What happened Thistle? You are absolutely right to report it! Can't believe adults would actually go along with this. It's horrible! So sorry this has happened to you

I agree with going to hr

It's very uncomfortable. Sometimes confronting these individuals who are toxic and have nothing else to do. My neighbor is the same but I have confronted her and now when I come out to take my dogs to the yard, she goes inside. You must be ashy person. I am too and we make excellent targets. But sometimes we need to out our foot down. Observe this person and next time she starts with you, tell her/him about his/ her flaw in front of people. No one is perfect. I'm sure you'll find something wrong with her. Tell her when she displays notes, " HEY, YOU CHOSE THE Wrong CAREER, YOU SHOULD BE AT THE SUN TIMES!! A taste of her own medicine. Do it as a joke sarcastically. Good luck!! Best wishes.

Best to remember that your workmates are not your friends. You did not choose them but you have to collaborate with them to do the job. The tactic is to be polite and civil but dont get too involved and stick to professional conversation. Grey rock is a wonderful technique.

Your probably right.
Thats interesting.
You have a point there.
Must get on.

And so on.

Merlin is persistent, isn't he?

Reported

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Bullying in the workplace does not have to be overt like threats, name calling or playing tricks on people (as in the OP). Sometimes it can be very subtle so that the victim feels foolish complaining because people will laugh it off as banter. Ot HR people will interpret it as "different styles of interaction".

Bullying can also include:-

Failure to pass on relevent information
Excluding someone from meetings/events
Blaming the other person
Nit picking their work
Constant interrupting
Disparaging personal remarks

And so on.

Thistle So glad to hear that you are having support from your Manager

Thistle, I am glad to hear that you are being supported.

Thistle2016

Thank you everyone
Yesterday I arranged a meeting with my manager who was more than supportive and is going to deal with the issue.

That's good news. I would make notes of the meeting while it's still fresh in your mind. Especially dates, time, action etc. Hopefully you will have a follow up to keep informed of progress. Well done.

Glad to hear your manager is in the case. Will be interesting to see how that goes. Will you be OK with your fellow workers? I mean how comfortable will it be?

Hi Poppyjo a bing list is a list of phrases, words or comments I make. Each colleague has a copy and ticks off when they hear me say something from the list and then when they have ticked everything they shout bing.

Thank you everyone
Yesterday I arranged a meeting with my manager who was more than supportive and is going to deal with the issue.

How did you get on? I hope your manager was supportive.

Thank you all for your support, I will let you know the outcome when I speak to my manager on Monday

Sorry to sound ignorant but what is a Bingo List? I have never heard this expression before.

Make a note of any incidents, dates, times who was present. Or make a note of any other action that you can recall. Record what was said or any other details. Record how it made you feel. The response is likely to be 'its was only a joke'. But you decided if it's a joke or not, if it's at your expense it's not a joke, it's not funny it is bullying/harassment/intimidation. I hope you have taken this to your manager. You could always ask a colleague to support you in the meeting.

The others are right. Go straight to your manager. This is unacceptable behaviour in a workmate (or anyone really).
Please let us know how you get on. Good luck.

This is a very unkind thing to do and could be the start of building up a 'gang' of supporters of the bully with the purpose of isolating you. Even if it isn't this serious, it is a dreadful thing to do and needs to be dealt with. Go directly to your HR manager and make a formal complaint which will then have to be dealt with. This cannot and should not be dismissed as 'banter', the escape clause of bullies when caught out. Good luck.

I would not confront the bully directly. Bullies are weak people and can often turn any confrontation into a scenario with themselves as the victim. They could accuse you of bullying them. This is particularly the case where they have drawn others into their clique. If others are involved this is known as "mobbing" or corporate bullying,

Compile as much evidence as possible and report to your manager or, if appropriate, HR.

This reminds me of an incident which was brought to my attention by a team member some years ago. A person in a position of authority had played a cruel joke on a junior member of staff, by the misuse of company letterhead and other resources. The person had misused his authority to draw others into the circle. I had only heard of the incident by heresay but I tipped off my immediate superior who investigates and gathered evidence. The affair went to the CEO and the guilty staff member was fortunate to escape dismissal. He was given a formal written warning and told that the offence would remain on his record for three years. Effectively, he was being denied any further promotion in the organization.

The entire staff (who had colluded with the bully) was split up and transferred to other locations over the following months.