Why I will never volunteer again

I am involved in my local church volunteer to help with church anctivities and enjoy going to other clubs. I have also read the previous post regarding volunteers (lack of) generally and the many factors why people don’t get involved now. The younger generation are too busy working, paying mortgages, getting by, older people are infirm but have done volunteering many years previously. Grandparents are looking after their grandchildren - it goes on. I also feel a large factor is having to fill in many forms, DBS checks etc and not everyone can cope with all the technology/online forms etc. Also feel most people have very busy lives.

Many people I meet have manners and courtesy and think of others and how they treat them. Then again I come across people who are just downright rude and ignorant and don't give a care/even register how they treat people. I left two social groups because the women in charge were so obnoxious and it is lovely now to be free of them. I think it is just a question of thinking now who treats people properly and who doesn't. Stick with the ones who treat you right, as they say, and take a wide berth of the ones who don't.

Aveline

Also, I really enjoy my various volunteering roles and never expect anything in return. I don't expect gratitude or even acknowledgement. I do it because I want to. I'm frankly a bit surprised at Skydancers expectations.

Me too??

Also, I really enjoy my various volunteering roles and never expect anything in return. I don't expect gratitude or even acknowledgement. I do it because I want to. I'm frankly a bit surprised at Skydancers expectations.

I see there was another thread about people no longer volunteering and this kind of situation explains why. You did nothing wrong go and enjoy your group activities.

I'd be very hurt by the backstabbing colleague too. I don't understand why she reported you. Although she may have been having a bad day when you asked, what's wrong with her saying direct to you when you were friends? It could have been a few days later etc.

Also I'm a bit confused why the manager got involved? What policy was it breaking? I find it hard to believe it was your manner in asking when she invited you for coffee later.

Your instinct told you something and you were right. Next time I think you may listen to your gut, so something positve has come out of this.

Some charities are not the best. We used to send some weird ones to the op shops - the end of the line when you didn’t want to put them with vulnerable people and couldn’t think where else to place them . Sad but true, there were a lot of nasty pasties in those shops. Having said that, there were also some lovely ones of course. I’d look elsewhere for voluntary work if it were me.

I’m sorry that you’re so upset. What a rotten thing to happen. People can be so unkind. The manager doesn’t seem to have any respect for the time you have given. I can understand you wanting to hide away, but please don’t. You have friends at your craft group, you obviously enjoy their company and I’m sure they enjoy yours.

My DH and I have both said we will never volunteer again. He gave his specialist experience and time to a charity saving them several hundred pounds. Not a word of thanks or acknowledgment from anyone. Then he did more or less the same thing for an environmental charity where one local person thanked him verbally but no appreciation was shown by the actual charity itself. I did volunteer gardening with a group over several years and we were barely acknowledged. Neither of us can believe the ingratitude.

Very badly handled by manager. Like others have said, go to your classes, you didn't mean any harm.

Move on from that volunteer role and try something else. There are all sorts of possibilities. Try not to dwell on a mismanaged situation regarding a rather difficult woman. I bet that manager regrets losing you.
Go back to your friendly craft groups with people who appreciate you. It'll make you feel so much better.

I’m sorry you’ve been treated like this . It sounds like the manager didn’t handle it well. The protocol is normally for the manager to deal with it in house and to speak to the person (you) first , to get your story of the incident .
I understand that it’s knocked your confidence but please go back to your craft sessions .

A similar thing happened to me last week. I had to produce some paperwork for a volunteering role I'm taking on.
The woman kept apologising for upsetting me (I have lost someone close in the next few months) and then asking me some quite personal stuff which I hadn't expected and which caused me to tear up.
At first I felt like I was at fault for being so sensitive and also over-reacting- but after she left I realised that she had actually been rather insensitive.
I felt like putting in a complaint about her, but haven't because I don't know her very well and realise I am making judgements too.
I think as we get older it becomes more difficult to cope with some life experiences and talk about them to complete strangers.
It hasn't put me off the vounteering role though. I will just be more careful what I say to people in future.

In your position I wouldn't be able to let the matter rest - you were treated in a dreadful, underhand way and the manager handled the incident incorrectly and should be reported to his line manager.
Surely he should have spoken to you before escalating it and I personally suspect that the other person wanted her position back and between them they saw your innocent question about her son as a way to engineer fault on your part.
Please don't let this spoil your enjoyment of other activities.

I have heard from several people who were volunteering in charity shops about the poor management. The pay is not great a posts are often filled with people who have no people management skills. You should put your case to the area manager as they will not keep their volunteers if they treat them so.
A close friend volunteered with a national charity and had an accident (at home) and could not work for two months yet nobody contacted her to see how she was. When she wanted to return they said her shift had been filled and they only cold offer her ones she could not do yet they were desperate for volunteers.

How awful for you Nools - I would have done the same, I mean, I would have asked her about the accident. It’s because we care. Don’t let this incident put you off volunteering. There others who will value your time, which you give freely. Good luck and hope you feel better soon xx

Get back out there Nools and don't let these people spoil your enjoyment of life. The manager and this woman are irrelevant and you are highly unlikely to ever see them again. I'm sure the members of your craft groups wonder where you are.

How very unkind to treat you in this way Nools. Please don’t give them the satisfaction of letting them think they were in the right. I volunteer in a charity shop, and sometimes our manager, who is very kind but quite blunt, has upset someone. She is very quick to apologise, once she realises. Go back to your craft groups and put this incident behind you. I would also report the manager to his superior, or the charity HQ. 💐

I totally understand how upsetting this has been it sounds like your manager didn’t handle it at all …. very poorly done but to stop going to everything is only going to hurt you and make you go more into your shell Get back to your craft group and maybe not straight away but don’t give up on volunteering not everyone’s like this Don’t let this colour your life You did nothing wrong
It wasn’t you it was her and the manager at fault
Hold your head up high and get back out there good luck

People play out their petty nonsense in these settings. Sorry you are experiencing this.

Not much charity in charity shops, sometimes

T hat sounds very unfair. I wonder if you feel able to take it up to higher management because the shop manager really didn’t deal with this properly.
Don’t let this set back stop you from re turning to the craft group.
I had a problem when volunteering with age uk. . I had been going for one day a week fir over a year and when I left I was neither thanked nor asked why I was leaving. Regret now not being more upfront with the manager who never spoke to me despite knowing I was upset. .

Nools don't give up going to your craft groups.If they aren't linked with the organisation you volunteered for you should feel safe there. Enjoy them x

Oh dear. Some folk are very odd.

Don’t let it knock your confidence, you’re not at fault.

Why not look around for another volunteer role?