Full-time work at 59 and exhausted - is this normal?

I can do relate to this. I have worked full time since I was 17 with a break of 4 years when I did my degree. I had Covid early on and it wrecked my health. I am 58 and in October I had sepsis amongst other things and spent 6 weeks in hospital. I went back to work late January (working from home) and have just gone up to 6 hours a day. I have just had COVID yet again (for the 7th time) and it has floored me. I am hoping to hold on till I am 60 and retire. My immune system is pitiful and I am constantly shattered, so I know how you feel. 💐

ElaineMcG47

Thanks to all of you. They are really helpful replied. I think I am going to have to just give my three months notice in and go. I can live on about 120 pounds per week max. It's just the college expenses for one child, and the other still asks for handouts sometimes, but I have gotten better at reducing this, saying I need to retire soon. Sodapop and Pascal30 - as you say the demands of the job are so stressful - very complex cases with high levels of distress, lots of paperwork and needing to contact so many other professionals involved in a case, arranging professional and child's plans meetings, contacting school, then inhouse and team meetings. I feel I can't keep pace. Notspaghetti, re the admin skills, I actually have quite good admin skills - there's lots of admin in my job, use of microsoft word, excel, powerpoint, outlook etc. I am probably as, or maybe more proficient from years of experience than someone just starting out in admin, but from just one experience, I hope the agency just doesn't see my age and write me off.

You sound perfectly able to do admin roles with all that IT competence, but agency work can be seasonal and doesn't always pay so well. If you don't feel able to get a permanent job maybe you could pick up admin work as maternity leave cover? You get a longer contract.

From one Elaine to another, l am the same age as you and could have written your post a year ago. I have taught piano, violin and viola for nearly forty years and am an accompanist. I organised more concerts and exam sessions (including, on many occasions, private examiner visits) than I could possibly remember and been a church musician - l have played the organ for a great many funerals, too. I have three adult children, the oldest of whom is fairly severely autistic, and was doing as much as I could for my elderly mother. I have had a wonderful life and career but I was burnt out. We moved to a different part of the country last year and I was able to take semi-retirement (my husband was already retired). It has been life changing. I have some pupils on zoom and two face to face. I speak to my mother each day on the phone and visit regularly as well as the times she comes to stay with us. I am the oldest of three and we all play our part. She will probably move to be with my sister in the next couple of years. What does all this extra time mean for me? I have joined a very good semi-professional orchestra and am enjoying playing my instruments for my own pleasure. I am working towards diplomas on each instrument that I had no time for in the past (l gained my degree in 1986). I am very involved in my new church and able to attend a lovely daytime ladies' bible study group. It is now my time. We cannot physically all the things we could do with ease twenty or thirty years ago. If you are in a position to be able to take semi-retirement or even retire completely, l would strongly urge you to do so. You will get your life back. 💐

Your job sounds exhausting, and your lifestyle is physically demanding too. It’s perfectly normal to feel this way after so many years in such a role. If you can’t switch to another role, or reduce your hours then maybe consider retiring early? Start getting advice on your pension, finances etc. I retired at 61 as I felt like you describe, my autoimmune condition improved and feel so much better, but it took about 18 months to plan for early retirement. Good luck

I’ve worked 30 hours a week for years at 65 felt enough was enough and dropped down to 18 hrs a week for my last 10 months until I receive my state pension. Like you I have some medical conditions, and I felt the stress of work was making things worse and I felt the benefit of 2 extra days off has given me a much better quality of life.

Thanks, Nanarose. I have kept my registration in Ireland, so can go back and do some shifts. I even thought of doing shifts as a care assistant. Some nurses do that, as they end up on the top of the care assistant salary scale, which is only a few thousand less than the nursing scale, but far less responsiblity.

Absolutely - I was a Specialist Nurse, and was exhausted at 59. I tried to be careful for my last 2 years before leaving by limiting my unpaid overtime to 2 hours a day, but sometimes the stress of organising it was worse than simply taking work home.
So huge sympathy on that front - but only you know how to square it with your finances & family.
I would suggest that if you 'retire' you keep up your registration. I have a lot of friends who found that once they had taken a break, and sorted out the kind of things you have mentioned, then felt able to earn a bit by doing the odd shift at a lower grade.
I wish you all the best.

Its very kind of you to try to provide for your adult children.

Sad to say due to a combination of adverse conditions, we can't give ours any kind of leg up.

Yes, it really does make a big difference, the person I know lost over £7000 a year. There was also a rule that pegged your pension to the highest earning of your last three years of work, which meant if you went part time prior to retirement you also lost out.

Yes, Cadson, I heard that too about retiring early. One of my colleagues was saying that someone who used to work in our department retired a year early and there was a significant impact on her pension - I would never have thought that a year would make that much difference over 35/40 years.

ElaineMcG47

Thanks, Esmay - yes, punch drunk with it is definitely something I feel. I don't think I can reduce a day, but I currently work 9 to 6 and can reduce that to 9 to 5. Even a shorter working day would be something.

Casdon, I have no NHS pension. I only came here two years ago, so didn't opt in, as my intention was really only to stay until my son is finished college in 2026, but I don't think I will survive this job that long. I have a small pension from the Irish Health Service of 3k per year. I worked in so many different nursing jobs in different places to coincide with what suited my children that I never built up a pension anywhere. I will have an Irish State pension, and some State pension from the UK at 66 and 67. I won't have a mortgage and my 2 bed cottage is only 70 sq metres, so easy to heat.

No problem, it’s just that I know somebody who made a bad financial decision by retiring when she did from the NHS, which makes me cautious for anybody who might be in the same boat. Good luck, I’m sure you’ll make the right decision for you.

Yes, JaneJudge, I have really good external supervision which I pay for as the Trust wanted me to have internal supervision from a colleague with the same qualifications and grade as it would be free, but I didn't want that. I also get case management every four to six weeks, which is good also, but it still doesn't take away from that punch drunk feeling, I feel fairly much permanently. My external supervisor worked in CAMHS for many years but stated at 58 he couldn't hack it anymore, and now just does about 5 private counselling sessions and three supervisions sessions per week, but he is well established over many years and gets referrals from a lot of those he used to work with.

Maybe not my business, but could your partner move with you and share the expenses? then you'd have support and help..

You poor thing .
I'm so sorry .

JaneJudge

I think it is your job not your age. You work an incredibly stressful job and it is emotionally exhausting for you. Do you get supervision so you can offload to someone else?

I agree

Thanks, Esmay - yes, punch drunk with it is definitely something I feel. I don't think I can reduce a day, but I currently work 9 to 6 and can reduce that to 9 to 5. Even a shorter working day would be something.

Casdon, I have no NHS pension. I only came here two years ago, so didn't opt in, as my intention was really only to stay until my son is finished college in 2026, but I don't think I will survive this job that long. I have a small pension from the Irish Health Service of 3k per year. I worked in so many different nursing jobs in different places to coincide with what suited my children that I never built up a pension anywhere. I will have an Irish State pension, and some State pension from the UK at 66 and 67. I won't have a mortgage and my 2 bed cottage is only 70 sq metres, so easy to heat.

Before you do anything, I’d get an NHS pension prediction (assuming you commuted your Irish NHS pension?). You lose a lot of your annual pension if you retire early, which will affect the living standard you will have for the rest of your life. I’m not saying don’t do it, just be sure your eyes are fully open - which may affect your decision.

Hopefully , there isn't an underlying health problem so if you can get one -it's worth a check up .
To be honest , your work is extremely demanding and possibly you are feeling punch drunk with it .
Just recently , several of my friends who are around your age are complaining about their work being exhausting .
Two did have Covid .
Can you cut out one of your days ?
Or find an alternative ?
Wishing you luck with whatever you decide to do .

At least you won't need shorthand skills these days!

💐
I'm sure you will be happier.
I think you will gain energy just by handing your notice in!

Many your age have two jobs to juggle. Why don't you make a career change, even if you earn less, life will be better. I changed my career and worked part -time, best thing I ever did.

Thanks to all of you. They are really helpful replied. I think I am going to have to just give my three months notice in and go. I can live on about 120 pounds per week max. It's just the college expenses for one child, and the other still asks for handouts sometimes, but I have gotten better at reducing this, saying I need to retire soon. Sodapop and Pascal30 - as you say the demands of the job are so stressful - very complex cases with high levels of distress, lots of paperwork and needing to contact so many other professionals involved in a case, arranging professional and child's plans meetings, contacting school, then inhouse and team meetings. I feel I can't keep pace. Notspaghetti, re the admin skills, I actually have quite good admin skills - there's lots of admin in my job, use of microsoft word, excel, powerpoint, outlook etc. I am probably as, or maybe more proficient from years of experience than someone just starting out in admin, but from just one experience, I hope the agency just doesn't see my age and write me off.

I also worked as a CPN until 60 and can entirely sympathise with what you are saying. The service has become unrecognisable and it breaks my heart.. but if I was in your position I would take on your little cottage and live well and simply.. your children will accept you selling the house if you are determined and clear about your intentions.. I hope you have a lovely retirement..

Can you brush up your admin skills?
Maybe a short course?

If there's a point to it you may well find it gives you energy!

You need to make sure that your ACs do not stop you from selling your family home. Tell them your decision is final.

IMHO, your plan of quitting NHS and going back to Ireland to live in your inherited cottage is exactly what you need to do.

My daughter is a little younger than you ElaineMcG47 and has just left her job as a senior mental health practitioner. The stress and demands of the job combined with poor management have taken their toll on her health. Like you she loved her job up to a few years ago.
Her new job as an assistant therapist will hopefully be less stressful and she will feel she is actually achieving more with her patients. The salary is of course considerably smaller.

I hope you find something which is fulfilling for you but less stressful. Good luck.