Full-time work at 59 and exhausted - is this normal?

Everyone I know who is past about 55 or so, is exhausted.
Just marking time until they can retire, in a lot of cases.

I think you are both right, the only answer is to get out. I can actually live very simply. Some of the other posters mentioned admin jobs. I would love a job as a part-time medical secretary or temping as a medical secretary. I was a secretary for a couple of years before I became a nurse. I spoke to head of a temping agency in Ireland who said they had loads of temporary contracts for me, but when I mentioned that I did my secretarial course in 1985, that was it! Hopefully, they won't all be like that.

Elaine, my neighbour is a MH nurse and she is a young woman and is exhausted with it. You have done a wonderful job helping your own children and other people but maybe it is time to put yourself first

Take your own advice Elaine and get out!
Your nearly adult children will see what a difference it makes.
My husband was ground down like you. 💐

Thanks JaneJudge and Vicyb for your replies. JaneJudge - I am not sure I could do anything in mental health again. I feel done with it. In any case, counsellors in Ireland are ten a penny. The market is flooded with them. I wouldn't mind doing something with children. Maybe minding children after nursery school in the morning or after they finish primary school, though not all day. I do enjoy being with young children, I like cooking and baking and gardening, and will have an acre of not yet well looked after grass, around my cottage for them to run around in.
VickyB - I'm glad to hear I am not the only one who eventually got exhausted with working in mental health. I just feel so drained by it. Up until about ten years ago, I loved it.

You have my sympathy. I worked in mental health before I retired. By the time I was 58 I had had enough. I had no energy and little enthusiasm for the work. I was emotionally drained and fatigued. I still enjoyed working with and helping my clients but the changes in mental health provision; more pressure, bigger, more complex caseloads, mirco management, endless meetings and all those targets etc. did not help. I was able to reduce my hours which helped but getting to 66 when I was able to retire was a struggle. I have no idea how younger people working in mental health will be able to keep going especially now the NHS pension is aligned to the State retirement age.

I remember your other thread I think, something about them being untidy and expecting you to pick up the slack when you go home?

You have a plan that is GOOD. Tell the children you are selling the house but they are lucky enough that you will buy them a flat to share. Then start on your own path. It is FAR from selfish to do this. I think for your own health you need to do this.

For employment could you not gain additional qualifications to do online counselling from you recently renovated cottage?

Thanks everyone for all the replies. I think it is my job. I came to the UK two years ago to get this job - Band 7 - as there were no jobs in this area in Ireland and I had two children in college there - only one now - and college is not free in Ireland, and there are no student loans. There were nursing jobs in Ireland - my base profession is mental health nursing - but they involve 12/13 hour shifts and doing a week of nights every six weeks. If I did less hours here or took a lower paying job, it wouldn't be worth my while to stay in the UK as I pay rent here. It is very difficult to get a job in Ireland at 59 - it is quite an ageist place - or that is my experience - lots of comments from younger nurses about my age and wasn't it time for me to retire when I was working there. I don't find this working in the NHS. I definitely prefer the working culture in the NHS to our health service, but I just find the job exhausting. I have hardly any private pension as I worked in so many different nursing jobs as I was a single parent and just worked where fitted best around the children.

My preference would be to go back to Ireland. I recently inherited a small two bed cottage - old fashioned but inhabitable - from an unmarried uncle I looked after and was in very close contact with even when in the UK. I am thinking of going back home and managing somehow. Our family home is in Dublin. I would like to sell it, buy an apartment for my children in Dublin out of the cash and then use the rest to do up my cottage and to manage on any money left over until I get the State pension in Ireland until age 66 - and get a part-time job, if possible, in a supermarket or cafe or hotel - but my children - who have not always been appreciative - I have spoken about them previously on here - resent me selling the family home. However, I am not sure I can go on as I am. Intermittently, I have had issues with my autoimmune, issue - thyroid - in the last two years, then rasied CRP in my blood, and also lots of infections.

At 59 I was working a full week and on call two weekends a month , it got so stressful that I gave in my notice3 months early ,
This was in the day when we retired at 60
I had children in school and university, we needed the money but no way could I have continued
My pension was minimal as I had been lured into the married woman’s stamp !

You have a demanding and draining job. You travel between England and Ireland. You have an autoimmune condition. You have a child still needing financial support.

That's a huge amount before we factor in the general worries,stresses,economic situation and challenges.

I'm sorry to be so blunt OP but this seems a lot to handle. Maybe you , yourself could access some therapy and make some changes?

biglouis

Is there any scope to move into the admin/management side and leave the heavy lifting to younger people?

Did OP mention heavy lifting?
I understood she is a Mental Health professional which sounds like listening and talking.
OP I can understand why your visits to the gym are good for your otherwise sedentary but stressful lifestyle, but bed at 20.00? No wonder there is no room for social contact (not that socialising on a “school night” is all that practical, but surely early evening activities, even a coffee or quick drink are possible)
I think it is the relentless pattern of your life style. Could your partner and /or child not visit you here for a change? DH at one time worked in Dublin Mon-Fri with free travel back at weekends but sometimes the ticket would be bought for me to go the other way.
I think we need our weekends to recharge our batteries so I would suggest looking at your routine- also obviously diet etc
Get a check up and a blood test too to make sure you are not anaemic- and good luck!

I was a teacher and retired at 60 because I was constantly tired. I think it depends on your job but it seems normal to me. I'm impressed you managed to get to the gym!

Have you had a full blood count done? It could be an underlying deficiency or infection etc.

Is there any scope to move into the admin/management side and leave the heavy lifting to younger people?

I'd say taking all into account perfectly normal. You have a very demanding job working rather long hours plus a medical condition. You've really answered your own question in your post. You are overworking. This is weakening your immune system and causing you to have infections.

You somehow need to slow things down and allow time to completely relax, working fewer days if possible. Or shorter days. Or maybe take a weekend here and there to chill completely and recharge your batteries, do nothing!

I think it is your job not your age. You work an incredibly stressful job and it is emotionally exhausting for you. Do you get supervision so you can offload to someone else?

I felt the same when still working. I think a busy stressful job talking to lots of people is as you get older. I could not have coped with the gym visits you do. I was so glad to retire and, luckily for me, only had to work to 62. I could not have worked to 66.
I felt 20 years younger once I retired. My exhaustion and aches and pains disappeared. Could you do a different job such as NHS admin which may be less demanding.