Full-time work at 59 and exhausted - is this normal?

Buying a flat sounds like a good idea, your children could use it until they are established in work and then you could rent it out for extra income. Just an aside, a friend in a similar situation with a bit of land grew her own fruit and veg and went to Farmers Markets, it turned into quite a good little business. Good luck with whatever you decide.

It’s easy to underestimate the mental energy requirements in many jobs. Everything you’ve said is why I retired just before I was 60. My advice would be to take your workplace pension(s) at 60 if you can.

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When you are coming to the end of your working life its time to think about quiet quitting and coasting towards retirement.

62, working full time and feeling much the same as you OP, even though my job is not nearly as stressful as yours.

I'm not sure how old children are when still "in college" in Ireland.

It may be A levels (say) or university - but living apart from your partner and family must be hard too.

Puzzlelove I don't think many people think that admin is easy but it is a different kind of stress to clinical work. Working directly with people who are struggling is emotionally draining.

I have done both by the way.

Hello there
I have no advice but wanted to say that You have a lot on your plate no wonder You feel so tired .🩷

I’m in a similar line of work, plus look after my dad who has Dementia, I’m 55 this year. I was only thinking today that every evening I fall asleep by 9pm. I was thinking there were links to the menopause but also wondering whether to mention to the GP. I am going to reduce my work significantly and step down from a lot of responsibility. For me it’s a combination of lots of different roles and hats to wear and there is not enough of me to go around. Sounds like your week is full on and when you work in this field it’s ironic how we can overlook our own needs. Are you able to reduce your hours at all? A member of my team has taken a two/three week pause as they were feeling exhausted and low, is this an option?

Don't let your chikdren decide what's right for you. You definitely need to pur yourself first at this time of life. Try to take some time off, maybe 3 months to just be. Keep up with the gym like you have been, eat more protein - minimum 1.6g x bodyweight per day, every day. Yoi need to practice having a siesta every day and doing some relaxing stretching or yoga classes. Sit with yourself, write down scenarios of how you think your life could be without that job. Let things come to you naturally, keep in touch with one or two friends more and meet up informally during the day. Keep away from bad news and your health will improve so you can think more clearly. This will make you feel less exhausted. Good luck

Have you thought about turning the inherited cottage into an Airbnb to have an income from.

My job was less stressful, but I was getting exhausted too as I approached 60, working full-time.Exacerbating it was my hearing loss, which is lifelong. I live in the hearing world though, have no friends/family in the Deaf world so all day every day it's lip-reading & straining to follow. Since retiring at 63 I'm not so debilitatingly tired & am able to enjoy limited socialising.

I totally understand the exhaustion I worked till 65 and felt so tired weekends were spent sleeping I had no social life one thing I did have checked was my vitamin D which was extremely low and I did feel slightly better when this improved with medication

I sympathise. I worked as a health visitor until I was 64. I also have an autoimmune condition. I was absolutely knackered, and to be honest it was a struggle. Could you cut down to 3 days a week? Clinician’s work is very draining.

I agree with the person who said it's the job , not the age.
I'm a GP. I absolutely understand how exhausting listening to patients complex issues can be, especially, when so very often, listening is all you can do. You can't change some people lives.....but you can change your own.
I would definitely advise a change. I don't think having an auto immune condition is helping you but need a change from bearing the burdens of your clients.
I actually retired at 61 because I was burnt out as I am the kind of GP who attracted people with MH issues.
However I was bored and was happy to return during Covid.
Im now 68 , work 2 morning a week and I enjoy the mental stimulation but I am tired after a surgery.
I am also supporting DD3 through her second degree. 1 year to go.
My sister, a highly trained palliative care nurse got and 5 years my junior, was so worn out she left and got a job as a library assistant.
Less pay but she loves it has realised that work outside the NHS is far less stressful.

why should you have to provide your children with accommodation when they are grown up.

Tell me about it!

By 60, I was so tired at the end of each and every school-day, as a teacher and faced with two hours or more work correcting work or preparing classes, that I could not go on.

My husband felt exactly the same, after working for years with people with different disabilites, so we ended by giving up our jobs in the interest of staying married to each other and sane.

You cannot work for so long with people with mental health issues , or in any full-time stressful job without ending up feeling the way you feel now.

So if it is at all possible, take paid leave - failing that explain how tired you are and insist that you will need to only work part-time.

Or find a different job, but at 59 that will be hard, or get your GP to give you six to eight weeks' sick leave due to stress.

Thanks to all of you for your replies. It's so reassuring to see that I am not just a weakling but many of you around this age feel/have felt exhausted in your jobs, and it seems to be that health and social care jobs are some of the worst in terms of emotional burnout. Musicgirl, it's great to hear how semi-retirement has given you a new life. Semi-retirement is what I want to do and I want it to be my time now. Hillsmetime, yes my children do need to understand that it is me and my health that is important now and not the family home. Every time the subject is broached, I get, 'it's our home' but an apartment could be there home too. Thanks again to all of you, I have the comments and suggestions have given me lots of food for thought and action too.

Both my nieces and a friend retired from NHS nursing at 55. One took on part time in private sector, loved it but gave up after a couple of years when DH became ill. Could you even consider the private sector. You are going to be burnt out if you don't simplify your lifestyle. Travelling on days off every week must take its toll. You have to look after yourself.

mental health workers used to retire early in the past? the job
is exhausting, at 59 don't know how you do it.You will know through your work what happens to people who do what you are doing?

You don’t need to declare your age when applying for work now

www.jobsite.co.uk/advice/should-i-put-my-date-of-birth-on-my-cv?bm-verify=AAQAAAAJ_____xxzv6NxeqIu4RTFQ5xyuptSaC9bQC9uy-4RMVcxfJc5WTWoIAmhFflX30gqDsK9IBxxe4D2PpqmzBUhv9mDmnILKqMOlckOuASeaM1A_fKTIV-Lw1RhV9fnbvk42HG2F9UgIPfPe_s3kBCajT_7T_5zbu2v0o4sqwQW6Vy2dQxZQ_ZyU__YVRBUkxOEUVbopjl3EDllZHmJ9yoCRJ86Pk0RMsrhZwxS0U8jjOlG8vRRR5-ESXjQVUbIKa6fUTU2FLG9CZDM_zbiKzm-QfTPYOe3KcleKJk8MCvVlsCleCmoYrcMFrBXG4kHGv1hqtYs-EfiH01E

So many good pieces of advice, I’d just say how about a walk before work rather gym? But my overriding advice would be take up your own advice and make a change for the better. Your children have to realise it’s you and your health which are important now not the family house

I so feel for you Elaine, I was a mental health social worker and also couldn't do it past 59 cos of ill health. It was the constant stream of serious phone calls, you put the phone down from one really difficult situation and it rings straight away with another that I found exhausting, though I loved the work, now I'm 68 I sit on a foster panel a few times a year and that brings in £125 per session + mileage, could you sit on mental health tribunals? If I remember rightly they are always looking for people but not full time, more to top up your income. Your cottage sounds lovely, friends of mine had similar & lived in it in winter but moved to a caravan nearby & rented it to holiday makers when they needed more money. I'd also cut down gym attendance just temporarily, till you work out what your future will be. I urge caution about pensions etc. I know nothing about that but you have good advice above.

I worked in admin for the NHS until I retired at 60 and I don’t wish to offend you but my job was stressful due to the amount of work I was expected to cover. Why do people think that admin work is easy?

I also have an autoimmune disease and was exhausted at age 59 . I hated my job and was tired all the time luckily at 60 , one of my pensions kicked in and I was able to drop to 4 day week , then I got a new job and promotion into work that was far more enjoyable. The tiredness was still there but I was more relaxed . I have now fully retired at 66 . Maybe it’s time to shorten your hours and/or look for a new job ?