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Work/volunteering

Disappointed with people

(8 Posts)
bestfootforward Wed 18-Sept-24 23:30:32

I left my job recently as a temp. My former line manager wasn't responsive to my professional email regarding a reference (despite no rows or disagreements with her). The official line was that we don't give temps references (apparently that's the norm nowadays). So I reached out to a client that I helped on site because otherwise I would have nothing to show for my time at this job over the last year.
Anyway, my agency shared positive (confidential) information actually confirming that my former bosses were pleased with my work with the local community and there was nothing negative in it. Anyway what I find really hurtful is that the woman I reached out to said that she would check with her support worker (the lady is registered as deaf). I waited patiently (and didn't hassle her a second time) only to find out that she went to my former manager (rather than respond to me by email) to tell them that whilst she wants to be helpful she doesn't know me so can't provide a reference. This was then imparted back through my agency which was humiliating. I have since collected 10 references from all sections of my education and career. Why is it that people have to be so weird and talk to your former coworkers about your business? What's even weirder was that she gave me a leaving present when I left the job as I had helped her get in to my former work building when there was a security issue over the weekend (in my own time, for no extra money).

welbeck Thu 19-Sept-24 00:38:54

haven't you raised this or a v similar issue recently here?
i don't think the service user was being weird, she probably felt put on the spot and maybe anxious.
was not the reference you had from the employment agency enough.

NotSpaghetti Thu 19-Sept-24 07:34:04

I think you were in an awkward position but don't think it's weird either.
A reference is a legal document and being asked to do one as a client is somewhat unusual. She may have been following the advice of her support worker.

I hope you found the reference from your agency sufficient.

Gotellthebees Thu 19-Sept-24 07:59:06

I was a support worker for 35 years. I would never have asked a service user for a reference. The fact that you "helped" her in your own time was your choice. You appear to have had expectations that she would then supply you with a reference? Unprofessional and ridiculous.

dogsmother Thu 19-Sept-24 09:02:41

Perhaps as an agency the policy is not to give references but they could confirm you were employed with no problems. I don’t think it is unusual in some areas to do this.

Georgesgran Thu 19-Sept-24 09:29:21

I think you are the same poster who has written several times over workplace issues? Forgive me, if I’m wrong.

I think you need to read the comments you’ve already got - and move on.

Ilovedogs22 Thu 19-Sept-24 13:46:15

I realised a long time ago that people are very odd! One simply cannot read them; they are either obtuse or simply malicious. I choose my social circle very carefully & have to say it is now comfortably small & nicely peaceful. 😏

Nannarose Thu 19-Sept-24 14:29:30

I do think this is a very difficult situation. I don't think you should be upset with your client, who was trying to do the right thing.
In a similar situation, I listed all the things I had done, with no specific mention of clients, and asked my manager to sign it. Of course, it didn't say to what standard I had worked, but it did at least say what I had been doing.

I think the problem is that references have become rather fraught. I worked with a horrible person whose work I had to constantly check. When she left, she threatened legal action if she didn't have a 'good' reference. A small organisation, or even a larger, but publicly funded one, can't afford to get into such a situation. Even when in the right, with evidence I had collected, my managers felt it would be too expensive. I did personally decline to write the reference, and left it to the managers.