Hello all,
On the company's website there is a blog written by the MD about various "woodworking" things. I suggested having another one, written from the point of view of someone we call Lola, she is a beautiful black lab aged about 8 months.
Here is the very first draft I submitted. I have changed the names but all other bits are the some, including notes.
Hello, my name is Lola!
Well, that is what the two legs call me. I've tried time and time again to tell them that my real name is (use either full pedigree name or make up something along the lines of “High Empress of Vole Hunting & Crotch Sniffer in Chief”) , but they just don't get it. So, I've decided that I may as well answer to Lola, after all ignoring them seems to adversely affect my biscuit allowance, and a girl with key responsibilities like mine must keep her strength up.
Let me tell you a bit about where I live. There are beautiful fields here, and a lovely pool for me to swim in. When I come out after my constitutional dip, I try to show the two legs how wonderful it is by shaking some of the water over them, but as yet none of them has tried so much as a paddle!
I like to spend as much time as possible with the senior two legs, who the others call D. This means following him into buildings called “work shops” not that I can see much evidence of “work”, well not by my standards anyway. Do any of them chase voles? No. Do any of them fetch things and bring them back? No. All they seem to do is sit or stand at these bench things messing about with wood. WOOD! I ask you! In my humble opinion the only sort of wood worth bothering about are sticks that we give to the two legs for them to throw. Of course we have to bring them back to be thrown again, but at least it gives their arms some exercise.
Anyway, back to the so called “workshops” I do try to take an interest in what they are doing, after all we can all do with a bit of encouragement. So, I put my front paws on their legs, just so that I can see properly and make appropriate comments. Are they grateful? No, of course not, all I get is “Not now Leyla, I'm using a chisel” Or “Oh Leyla, you've slobbered on my drawing!”. Still, no one can accuse me of not trying.
There has been some odd talk lately. Well, to be honest much of what they say seems odd, but I smile and wag, a bit like a canine version of the late Queen Mother. Not that she wagged of course, smile yes, (although if I had teeth like that I don't think I would be keen to show them off) but she did that little thing with her hand. I think it's called “waving”, obviously a word derived from wagging, and the nearest she could get to it, poor dear. So, the odd talk. They have mentioned getting something for the workshop called a “See Ay Tee”. I'm not entirely sure, but I think it may be a new piece of equipment, perhaps some sort of sawing or planing thing (not really sure what those are either, but I've heard them mentioned and didn't like to show my ignorance).
Well, better sign off now, there are 3 pairs of shoes in the hallway that need sorting.
Chow! (dog joke, geddit!)
.Good Morning Saturday 27th April 2024
