Sneering at people who work for the church.

Having been in a line of work that meant being in churches of all varieties I can afirm that there are some very bossy /hitler types. I was once told to take my shoes off by a church volunteer,there were 200 + guests in the church and they weren't told to take their shoes off because of the new carpet but my OH and I were ..seems photographers are a different breed or wear inferior shoes, ! Then theres the I know the minister SAYS you can take pictures from there but I'M telling you its not allowed in MY church type,met a lot of them in my 50 years in the business.We've been told not to park our car in the car park as its for "congregation only" this depite the fact we need to be quick off the mark when the couple leave and parking two streets down doesn't really work .Not all are like this but there is a very significant number .Its a superiority complex I think and they need to prove they have power .I must admit I wont miss the stress they cause when we retire ...very soon .

I’m offended by anyone sneering at religion in general. I would consider myself to be Christian although not a regular churchgoer. I respect anyone’s right to believe or to not believe but I get annoyed when I see on other fora, someone’s belief in their God being denigrated or people being sneered at for believing in a ‘sky fairy’. There really is no need to be offensive just because you may hold a different belief or none at all.

It is harder and harder to find younger people to volunteer in church. Partly as others have said because they are out working in the week and the weekends are full up, partly because they don't feel part of the community anyway.

But also because some of the jobs which need doing are not something younger folk tend to do. Especially flower arranging, who knows how to do that these days? It scares them off!!

I did once volunteer at the church I used to attend. For various reasons I no longer attend, although a believer. I gave it up as in the end I was getting left with the lot! The more you do, the more it's taken for granted. I felt the duties I had were getting left to me, while various other volunteers made excuses as to why they could not do X, but were happy to take the credit for my efforts. As it is I left the church and the volunteering behind. I don't miss either. Don't get me wrong, met some lovely people and met some downright nasty pieces of work.

Mention of church workers makes me think (very fondly) of the novels of Barbara Pym, but IIRC there were sometimes fallings-out over who was going to do the flowers for a certain place, and how.
Not to mention someone often sighing for love over a handsome vicar or curate.

I dare say that in any organisation of volunteers there is going to be the odd Queen Bee (or male equiv. who wants to rule the roost (hive!). But I can’t think it’s more so among church workers than anywhere else, and, one would hope, rather less.

Both my brother and my SiL gave up a great deal of time once retired, to a) a charity for the elderly, and b) an animal charity, and both finally packed it in because of a level of in-fighting or control-freakery that made them despair.

I suppose in all groups there are similar personality problems, but I kind of think it attracts folk to your cause (ie church) more if the personalities involved are a cut above, and kinder than in regular organisations.

Perhaps faith isn't the prime motivation in volunteering in church? I don't know, am merely an onlooker.

The people who volunteer do wonderful work but I used to help in the coffee centre and at sales but often was made to feel shut out and dictated to by people who had done it for longer so I stopped as I don't need that in my life. It involved a lot of tutting and sighs so not surprised people don't want to take over.

Our church is a true Community church-lots of volunteers as well as paid staff. There’s a community cafe-very reasonably priced; a food bank and a separate toddlers soft play cafe.

I suppose the Church would need to be " user friendly" possibly changing the times of services and offering more outreach work maybe?

Oh NotSpaghetti, I didn't think you were! I should have said that of course there are irritating people in all walks of life - and some of them end up volunteering!
I rather assumed that the original post was about the kind of people who like sneering, probably because of my own point of view.

My own pet hate is women who think it amusing to tell you that they were 'thrown out of Brownies' followed by a silly anecdote about how petty 'Brown Owl was (often to do with knickers, just to make it funnier).
I have no problem if someone didn't like Brownies - but as an adult please recognise my mum's contribution:
She would come home from a day's work, that would often include a stop to check on her frail parents. She would get everything ready, walk with us down to the Hall, where we would help set up activities. She would join in weekend workshops and keep herself up to date and plan sessions. She was thoughtful to those who had difficulty affording uniform or subs and made sure they could come on outings. Long before 'inclusion'she welcomed girls with disabilities and planned for them to be welcomed and able to take part. She did that for an entire generation. Her only, but best reward was to be cared for at the end of her life by nurses and carers who had been her Brownies, and their singing of campfire songs at her funeral is one of my best memories.

Of course, such service doesn't make an amusing anecdote!

I agree absolutely green eyedgirl.The church is definitely the people and not the building.We are Christ's hands, feet and mouth on earth today or at least this is what we try to be!

I would imagine the problem is caused by societal changes such as later retirement, looking after grandchildren while both their parents work, and looking after one's own elderly parents.

Sorry I AM a humanist!

mumofbadboys I am not humanist, but have much respect for many volunteer church workers who give their time because of their faith.

In my village they involve non churchgoers by running a "coffee and meet" morning at the church, open to everyone, where people play board games, socialise, can get hearing aids checked, and there is involvement from local doctors surgery from time to time in health promotion.

They also run a pre school group, open to all, and the Methodist church have an art group once a week. These are all organised by church volunteers for the villagers.

If the church is truly part of a community it can perhaps inspire more non church goers to become interested. Shouldn't the church be about the people, not the building?

We used to have so many volunteers at church that there was a rota and our unpaid volunteer organisers gently scolded us because we wanted to be there as much as possible. Now we have a paid manager and although we are described as dear wonderful people we are jumped on if we do not use the correct speech i.e. demands for donations ,and numbers of volunteers have skydived. Our manager must have read 1984 and thought rightspeak a Good Thing.

Nanarose I wasn’t criticising, simply observing. I am a volunteer, have managed volunteers and have spent years in the voluntary sector.
Some people just do like to be “in charge” and some others have good intentions but poor social and interpersonal skills!

My mother used to sell cards etc before and after mass.
She loved it, she found out quickly who was ill, dead, dying and extracted as much information as possible from all her customers.
She once called me to tell me that Mary M**** had arrived at mass with scuffed shoes and had “ nothing at her neck” whatever that was supposed to mean!
Another gem was that Patrick Mc*** had been at mass every week but hadn’t taken communion, my mother concluded he was definitely having an affair and probably because his wife by all accounts was a dreadful cook and housekeeper!!
So unfortunately my mother is a stereotypical church do gooder?

There are a hard core of people who love to sneer at others using anonymous forums. Ignore them they are sick.

It isn't just the church - we tend to notice the things we are involved in or know about. People who don't know what it is like to volunteer, to manage volunteers, to try to make the world a bit better place, love criticising those who give up their time and energy.
I have heard it all my life. Best way (IMHO) to deal with it is to imagine those people attempting to do it themselves and failing miserably!

I had a bossy woman speak to me at Christmas rather rudely.
Definitely a know-it-all and not very old.
Certainly younger than me!

We had a couple of bossy boots on our PCC, they did put some people’s backs up but, my goodness, they were such hard workers and we do miss them now.

They knew all there was to know about how things should be done. Unfortunately the church is swamped by archaic rules and regulations.
Now there are only 3 of us on thePCC- a catholic, an atheist and a practicing Christian. None of us really knows what to do but if we don’t do it no one will, the church will be closed and there will be no weddings, funerals or christenings for those who want them.

Our church has a fairly old congregation. It feels very hard making the Christian faith and the Church relevant to today's society and youngsters in particular. I don't know what the answer is. I can't imagine coping without my faith. But one does wonder what will the church be like in ten or twenty years time?

I've seen it come up over weddings in particular - a bride or groom are told they can't have exactly what they want because there's 3 other weddings on that week/it's two days before Christmas so the Church will already be decorated etc and there's lots of harumphing and comments ments about 'bossy flower ladies, who do they think they are. We've a couple of those Betty and Doris types in our Church....'

I must admit I haven't seen posts criticising church volunteers.

In many ways it isn't surprising that young ones are not coming forward to take on church duties. Attitudes to religion are changing, particularly amongst young adults.

According to the latest Social Attitudes Survey 53% of people say they have no religious affiliation.

3 out of 4 young adults aged 18-24yrs report as having no religion. Amongst over 75s, 27% profess having no religion. Perhaps we are moving towards a secular society?

Ohhps re spelling mistakes.