I decided some time back that I was not going to move out of the way of anyone a lot younger than me. I don't, I look straight ahead and proceed with confidence. It works! Although sometimes they do look surprised. I'm not convinced it has anything to do with age, I think people are simply less aware of what is going on around them.
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How should I use this superpower?
(49 Posts)I have just discovered I am invisible (as is my car). Whilst in the supermarket I had people running into the back of me with trolleys, was unseen at the fresh meat counter and had someone pick up an item I had my hand on. When driving home I had a cyclist ride across a light controlled crossing whilst the green light was in my favour, a lorry pulled out of a side road directly into my path causing me to brake hard and a jogger run straight out in front of my car!
I am now wondering whether to use this new found super power for good or evil!
I think I've found the solution, I've let my hair go fully white and now rarely have to wait to cross the road since as a pedestrian (even without right of way) I regularly get waved across. No, I don't use a stick and am as they say 'very spritely'. Didn't happen when I was a youngster with very dark hair although blonde friends never had a problem. Pity the same doesn't happen when I'm out in our little car.
Sadly its not like that here in rural France ....for some reason the Gendarmerie patrol on road duty ALWAYS see me .....and stop me ......check documents, up to date test certificate, tyres ....even breathylysed me at 11.00am when I had been just for a coffee ! Used to think it was the way I drive (which is unlike most round here ...I stick to the speed limit, don't hog the middle of the road, etc !) but I have decided it must be the small white haired lady in small white car syndrome !! I almost know all the local road patrol Gendarmerie team now ...my next door neighbour's daughter is an officer in the G. and I suggested maybe I could have a camera for them in my car, as always going into town there are tailgaters in a 70 zone trying to overtake on blind bends and disappear into the distance at what must be at least 100 .....I could make them a fortune in speeding fines !
I don't know how best to tackle the invisible car problem, but the rest of it, I do.
Being a retired school teacher I use the voice I employed with success for quelling unruly children. Polite, firm and fairly loud. Say one of the following;
"Excuse me, I believe it is my turn now"
"Thank you so much for closing the door in my face. Where do I send you my optician's bill for repairing my glasses?"
"Manners maketh man; they also enhance woman".
" That is what I said half and hour ago when no-one was listening".
As a pedestrian, I seem to be invisible to drivers. I am very cautious, always cross at crosswalks (wait for the green man even when no traffic is coming!) but when I have to cross at a corner, many (not all of course) drivers seem to think it's ok to whizz at speed around the corner without indicating, and that I should just wait; makes me cross as the implication is 'I'm more important than you and my time is more valuable because I'm driving and you're a mere pedestrian who can wait and take a deep breath of my car fumes too.' Sorry - ranting as it just happened - again!
Think it's the day when all the nut cases come out. Not bring rude to people with mental health issues that's a different matter.
It's people who are thoughtless whether they are driving, runnng, shopping etc. The times I have had a trolley wack me in the back of my legs ouch, it really hurts.
Some idiot just turned his trolley round without thinking the other day and I nearly went flying I only had a basket in my hand.
We often say we are invisible when we are waiting to order in a restaurant and people come in after us and get served first! It actually makes me quite angry, as they are quick
enough when you want to pay!!
I suppose I have always been self effecting. I can remember thinking at school it was a good thing if the teacher didn't know your name.
But now I want people to at least realise I am here.
Let's start a campaign.
Please tell me if you find anything works. I might try having a stick and hammering on the floor as in Allo Allo.
Self effacing, sorry.
Try putting on lot of weight. Fish and chips, lots of wine and chocolate will help.
People will notice a very fat woman.
Violette you and me both! I’m always the one who gets stopped and asked to unpack my bag at airports, and that’s before the days of those machines you have to walk through now- which of course I always set off.
I’d like a bit of this invisibility please...how do I acquire some?
PS one of my grey-blue chickens is called Violette (the other is Delphine)
ATTITUDE, (yes the caps are deliberate) is needed in spades after the age of 50, the sort that says up front" don't even think about ignoring me"
I am not only invisible but totally forgettable!
Use it for good. Become an invisible ninja assassin.
Use it for bad.?a spot of shoplifting.
I rarely reply on here but am pleased to know that other ladies are so ignored. I Sometimes doubt that I have actually given voice as it seems not to be heard.
One theory of mine in this respect is that the older you get, the more often you realise you can be wrong, or that there is much more to this than you actually know, so you pepper your sentences with conditionals, and disclaimers.
When I hear some of my young colleagues spouting rubbish but with such confidence, I have to chuckle to myself sometimes. But they're the ones the customers like to speak to because they think they are getting a sound answer. No one remembers me because any answer I give them will be so full of contingencies, based on experience, that they feel they haven't been helped.
My other theory is that we (well, I at least) were expected as children to be "seen and not heard". I can still remember my father yelling up the stairs at us if he could hear us walking around, so we got into the habit of creeping everywhere.
And also, as young ladies, we were indoctrinated to be considerate of others, so we stand back, let people through, let others speak, and unobtrusively smooth their paths.
So - as recommended by JE65, Nonnie, and others in previous posts in this thread, I am going to start from today to assert myself in some little way - at least once a day. The confidence will come with the brashness.
I hope.
No - that's something I shouldn't be saying. I don't "hope" - I "know" and with all the certainty of a millenial. That'll show them!
Usually when I decide to be assertive and speak out confidently and loudly and without disclaimers, I turn out to be wrong....
I've been told by my Physio to use a stick at all times until I get used to walking properly with my new knee. So I bought a bright one. Red handled and covered in poppies. I wave it at crossings. Use it to point at things. I get noticed now.
If I want to say something important to my husband, I get DIL to say it. Then he will tell me about it as if she's come up with something really clever, even though I'd already said it a dozen times. If she wants to say something important to her husband, she gets me to say it. Then my son accuses me of always taking her side, but at least she gets the credit for being right (and I've been nagging).
Invisibility hit me ( especially) with my husband years ago folks!! I no longer talk to him .... and he keeps saying I’m the quietest woman he knows! It is so peaceful now inside my head because once you realise nobody is listening you can just stop trying!
Further proof my car is invisible. Met friends for lunch today, parked the car and was locking it when someone walked into the side of it! She wasn't even on her phone!!! From now on I may park on double yellow lines, run red lights and ignore speed limits!
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