Life coaching for very young children

I read your post with interest marydoll. I taught in secondary school and although we had groups to help children with anger management and other emotional difficulties I felt that for many of the students this intervention was too late and too little. So it’s great that this work is started in primary schools where it can be more effective. Did your school run any classes on parenting skills? This is something which I feel is badly needed but whether the parents who most need this support would attend is another matter.

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Interesting thoughts. There is absolutely no doubt that the pandemic has had an impact on children's mental health on all children whatever age even babies and toddlers. CAMHS services (like all NHS services) are full and huge waiting lists and only catering for children seriously ill however sometimes very young children maybe are expected to have adult feelings which they don't have or need. So we lost our cat on Friday. She was 18 +. All DGC have been used to her, chased her, cuddled her. Our own DC are very upset (as we are) and tonight DD2 decided to light a candle and remember the cat - say a few words - meant to be outside under her favourite bush but lashing rain! DGS2 is used to candles and associates them with birthdays. Mummy was trying to say a few words about the cat however he began singing Happy Birthday to the cat - so that is what we did. Really there was no advantage in trying to make the occasion sad as he was too young to understand. DD1 lost a great friend to cancer at the start of the pandemic. Friend's daughter and DGD are same age (4) and see each other a lot. Friend's daughter often says to DD1 "My mummy is dead, why are you not dead?" This is heartbreaking for DD1 but she teaches P1 and the response is "Your mummy was ill and too sick and died but I am not ill". The child says "Ok" and goes back to her play. Now a life coach might make more of these things and probably in the future as the little girl is older there may be a need for more psychological input but for pre school children mostly things need to be matter of fact then they move on to the next thing. It is sad that some children as Marydoll has indicated have not had the family foundations that our DGC have had and it has to be addressed in school. I watched a series called "Don't exclude me" recently and the children featured were 6, 7 and 9. The teacher helping class teachers was very experienced and the interventions (also followed at home - a bit) helped all 3 children stay longer in class and understand how to deal with being overwhelmed but I felt very sorry for the class teachers who tried their best to follow the guidance but were often reduced to tears by it not always working. I do remember children like that when I was at school. They were often put out of class, took up an inordinate amount of teacher's time and by high school ended up in the classes that never sat exams and left at 15 if not expelled before. Probably could have been helped by life coaching I expect.

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Essential?

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Sounds very much like my school Marydoll. A deprived area in a quite upmarket borough. We had the exact same problems

I should have also added that what I mentioned was only a small part of what we did. I didn't want to rabbit on!
We worked on other skills such as working together, turn taking, entrepreneurial skills, sharing etc... as well as the academic aspects of school.
However, life skills for functioning in society were a priority.
Some of the pupils had never used a knife and fork and ate with their hands. Basic hygiene was also an issue for some. It was an area of high deprivation and we couldn't accommodate all the children who needed help.
Progress was very slow, so we had to prioritise.
A psychologist could not give our pupils the time appropriate to their needs. They were lucky if they saw an ed psych for half an hour every three months. The resources just weren't available.
There was always a waiting list of pupils for a place in the unit.

Marydoll what a remarkable program. I learned reading your post.

Surely all this 'life coaching' jargon means is providing children with emotional problems with the appropriate psychological help and support they need. It is what psychologist's job is and what they have been doing as long as they have existed.

Oh gosh I don’t have any second thoughts about the type of kids you’re referring to Marydoll this appears to be quite different and teaching very young children about dealing with stress

Marydoll I did exactly the same as you in our school's Nurture group. It was only for infants and in the morning and we did a lot of talking over'breakfast' .The children improved considerably over a few months. Sad to say , due to pressures at home etc they declined in the juniors When we introduced mentors they saw more joy in life again. Many children do need experienced help with their lives and cannot find it

Yes trisher it is emotional intelligence and it’s an integral part of Anger Managent.

I know a lot of schools use life coaching techniques to help pupils understand a bit better why they are feeling the way they are, but they're also useful for preventing bullying. Low self esteem often stems from childhood, so it taps in to these feelings too.

Yoga for children is also popular and useful for helping children who get stressed or just to take their minds away from one lesson before moving on to something new. Yoga for children is done in short bursts and can be made fun by getting the children to imagine the movement of the animal from the posture name. It's not like adult yoga!

I like the idea of education for the mind being more varied. I'm sure it must have positive effects.

Forgot to say.....the children could change their numbers anytime during the day as long as it wasn't teaching time. The children realised that they were not alone in having mood swings or ups and downs. All adults had to put their name near a number too.

I used to have a chart in my classroom. Each day as they came in the children would put their name next to a number from 1 to 10. 1 being the worst feelings ever and 10 being the best feelings ever. Most would put somewhere between 6 and 9. Occasionally a child would put a lower number. During morning circle time there would be the opportunity to bring up anything that made us feel good/bad. There was no obligation to share but the children were also aware that they could talk to me or any other school adult they felt comfortable with if they needed to. Every member of staff received disclosure training just in case.

A very high proportion of offenders have been found to have poor language and communication skills. Several prisons and young offenders institutions now employ speech and language therapists. There's something about locking the stables after the horses have bolted about it. Marydoll's type of nurture unit is sorely needed throughout the country sadly

Oh Wow So many websites came up. This isn't just helping children who have emotional problems. It is Apparently for everyone (as long as you can pay)! www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2225011/Parents-hire-life-coaches-children-seven.html
Wish this had been around whilst I was working. It sounds a lot more lucrative than teaching!

I think what Marydoll was referring to is generally known as Emotional Intelligence and I don't know if that is the same as Life Coaching. It would have been nice to have some sort of link or more explanation. I think one of the things we asssume is that children are born to people who have sorted out themselves and their lives, sadly this isn't so. Some children cope because they have been taught what is necessary to fit into society, but those who haven't bring into school all the problems from their home and the area. I'm going to Google Life coaching for children to find out more.

Very true Marydoll. A close friend of mine in an Ed Psyc. She was just saying the other day that many of the young people she has to deal with cannot recognise any feelings/emotions excepts, sadness, happiness and anger. Consequently suicides attempts (sadness) and aggression (anger)

When she’s helped them to recognise that there are other emotions such as guilt, helplessness, frustration, etc. usually underlying these feelings then she can help them to deal with them appropriately. It was fascinating listening to her.

So, yes, if the parents can’t do their job of helping their children recognise and deal with their emotions with the family situation then someone else has to. A sad fact of life.

Eglantine, you have obviously put your skills to good use. I feel so much better about writing my very long post .