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In praise of carers!

(35 Posts)
kittylester Sat 26-Oct-19 12:08:10

Some of you will know (because I keep banging on about it!) that I help run courses for people who are caring for someone living with dementia.

I am always in awe of the Carers who attend as they are all intent on doing their best for the people they care for.

They are usually funny, kind, helpful and eager to find ways to help their loved one.

Today I am even more impressed as dh has had a dreadful cold which has really floored him and I cant cope!

He usually opens the curtains and empties the dishwasher while I have a shower, get dressed and make the bed. Then he goes to get the papers.

I've had to do it all yesterday and today! Add to that making him drinks and giving him medication and I feel really hard done to and with no time to myself.

So, hats off to all you gransnetters who are doing it all, every single day.

And, heaven help dh if he ever really does need care!

GrannySquare Sun 27-Oct-19 20:27:15

I’m wholeheartedly with you all about the immense effort made by carers.

I cared for more than 40 years for a parent with a chronic debilitating condition. Fortunately I cared for a ‘loved one’ & that was hard enough. I did meet people - through my local Alzheimer’s care support group - who were honest about the additional burden of not loving the one they cared for.

So, here’s the CarersUK forum: www.carersuk.org/forum.
Please pile in.

You may find this very short movie of interest: www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHQ6hQ3SQUM

#ShareThatYouCare
#TwoSidesOfTheStory

Please send the video link to friends, family, fellow carers, colleagues & anyone else you think may need either to know they are not alone in caring OR needs enlightenment about caring. Tweet & ask for retweets.

flowers

kittylester Mon 28-Oct-19 08:41:10

Merlot, that is sad to hear! You gave had a hard time lately.thanks

kittylester Mon 28-Oct-19 08:48:58

Have not gave!!

Margs Mon 28-Oct-19 11:29:53

Yes the carers are nothing less than saints but the Government thinks that "feeling needed" and "virtuous" are all the reward necessary - hence the cruel cutting and cutting and cutting of finances and resources. To even enquire about possible benefits or grants risks attracting the label 'mercenary'.

General Election please - I'm sick of hurtling back to pre Welfare State Dickensian penury and poverty.

JaneJudge Mon 28-Oct-19 21:08:04

Lucky girl, never apoise for taking the decision you have. I'm in a completely different position from other that have posted on this thread as I've been a sibling carer to a late sibling and then a carer to a child of my own who had a disability, which has been a long term caring role. I now outsource day to day personal care for my child whilst managing their medical appointments, all over wellbeing and care from others. I'm normally treated with contempt for outsourcing her care and yet most people's experience of care is short not long term. Oh well, I have a carers group where we can all put the world to rights shockgrin never tell a carer how they should or shouldn't feel. It takes away your choice and however you feel yourself is real and our circumstances, financially and emotionally and eben in turns of support are not the same. We are not invisible and it's important to ask how we are.

Dillyduck Mon 28-Oct-19 21:15:30

Carers are 21st century slaves, no right to holidays, sick leave or respite, and when you start getting your pension, you lose your Carers Allowance!!!

JaneJudge Mon 28-Oct-19 21:26:50

Don't mention that dillyduck. Carers are silenced, especially from those more privileged. I'd like to say it's the modern way but it's steeped in misogyny and we'll, just privilege. You'll see this for yourself when people react to what I've posted.
It will start with shame to create guilt

Witzend Tue 29-Oct-19 09:52:05

Having done dementia care myself, I do sometimes wonder how carers manage to attend such sessions. So often it's nearly always down to one person, and the hardest thing can be finding someone to take over for a while, if the person really isn't safe to be left alone for any length of time.

kittylester Tue 29-Oct-19 11:18:46

As I said up thread witzend, the Akzheimers Courses here run a session for the person living with dementia along side. We also run courses for people with an early diagnosis.