Waving "Magic Wand" frantically ....my arms aching now, can someone take over 
plus its hard typing/cup of tea making and Wand Waving at the same time
Our Welfare State. Is it broken?
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...and come out the other side, what worked to get you engaged and moving again?
I’ve experienced things similar to what most older people have - a career, divorce, raising kids and then empty nest, retirement, loss of loved ones, pets, etc., and I just feel lost and stuck.
I enjoyed my teaching and supervising jobs but am very glad to have retired and don’t regret it. When I was raising my kids, I started mom’s groups, took writing and dance classes, did hospice work, volunteered in sons’ classrooms, etc., and remember thinking that I’d found the “secret” to happiness to use later when I got older and retired. But now I’m so unmotivated and it seems like my efforts are empty without loved ones around.
I have a lot of good friends from over the years but none locally. I’ve gone to several things - Meetups, a Unitarian church service, a couple of political meetings, swing dance - but nothing seemed to click. I notice that I feel happy and energized when my “kids” and their SOs are going to come over for something but that isn’t very frequent and I’m quite aware that I can’t live vicariously through them. I’m hoping I can get some of my stamina and enthusiasm back.
I’m familiar with many of the recommendations out there - getting good sleep and eating well; exercising; meditating; connecting with others by volunteering, taking a class, joining a group; going out in the sunshine and nature; practicing gratefulness; “just do(ing) it”, etc. - so I’m not asking for advice or a critique. I just want to know what, if anything, worked for you.
Anything on that list? Something else? Thanks! 
I always feel better when I come across posts on here that make me feel not quite so alone in my thoughts and feelings. grant1, you're so right that the "empty nest" isn't such an easy adjustment for everyone.
I don't feel depressed (except about losing Dad this year) as much as just alone and unmotivated. For years after my divorce, I loved and cared for my sons, mom, grandmother, dad. Like you, IrshGrannyAnne, I drove hours every weekend (to parents) or flew across the country (to grandma) while working full time and raising kids. I miss them all, now, of course. Maybe I'm just tired! Ha!
I need to "reboot", somehow but, bikergran, you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned all of the "shoulds" and ask what happens when we can't be bothered. It feels like a gargantuan task at present.
I do love chocolate and good book, etheltbags1!
Hugs to you all
Yes I saw Wilfrid's death on Twitter
Jane; don't do Twitter; His bereavement notice came directly from "The Oldie".
Definitely start a thread! I'll fight you to be Chairperson, but firstly it would interesting to know who are existing subscribers, or simply how many. Once the thread begins to develop, I'm sure more will join.
Who knows! ? We might be able to negotiate a subscription discount! As it happens, my renewal notice has just arrived and I'm going for the FREE Calendar. 
OoRoo
IrishGrannyAnne that is lovely to hear that you have been inspired keep it up
Unfortunately Rufus2 is too busy to join me!
Jane You're too kind! Unfortunately he's been too busy flat on his back in hospital with BPPV. He was hoping for some benefactor to sponsor his airfare, but knowing the reputation of Scots that was always going to be a forlorn one!
Anyway, Nature intervened and let everyone off the hook! 
I'm quite sure it's not literally the Big Smoke" these days! During WW2 and beyond when smokey paraffin burners were set off to "hide" targets from German bombers, yes it was! Slough, where we lived was seemingly forever under a black cloud because of its industrial estate. Stagger home from the pictures, blow your nose and one jet black hanky! Happy Days!
Sorry Jane! I've wandered way off topic as usual; getting more like Del Boy's Grandad every day! 
I'll get the menu off you tomorrow and meanwhile consider your Wilfred's comments1
It's now 12.30pm, Sunday and time for my prayers!
Slainte
Catching up late with this thread
Jane And I've been waiting to catch up with you!
You'll soon be "coming down" on the train; still excited? 
You probably "got" the bereavement notice about Wilfred He seemed to be an odd character and his articles seemed odder, but although he acted like he was a tramp he was able to name-drop as though he was high society.
I thought of emailing a card to "The Oldie" as I believe we have a few subscribers on GN, but on reflection, maybe not.
Any thoughts?
I'm sure London's weather will be kinder than yours!
As for Melb. what can I say? Perfect! Sorry about that!
OoRoo
Cheers , the sun is shining here in North Lancashire (may even hang my washing out) hope the weather is kind to you all.
Bluesky very true
Hi all. Rufus we have had it up to here in water (literally) and wind and it seems to be the same for the foreseeable future! Is not surprising we are all feeling low, the weather doesn't help at the moment. Can't wait for spring! I agree coffee and a glass of wine are good for you, I've always said that and now it has been proved.
Bikergran yes at a certain time in our lives we have more on our plates that we can cope with, worry is multiplied, what with children, grandchildren, maybe elderly parents, then our partners and not forgetting ourselves. Is it any wonder we then feel overwhelmed?
Anyway have a 'nice' weekend! 
Are you in Australia ? Or the Wizard of Oz
GrannyAnne Please pick a shorter nickname; 
I'm not a wizard of the keyboard, nor am I the Tin Man in that musical! ,although I've gotten a bit rusty lately.
Yes, I.m in Melbourne and it's been a nice sunny day, not a cloud in the sky and 28C. They do say the sun shines on the righteous, although perhaps not always!
Do you just make that coffee for yourself, or have customers? Either way, you'll have a beautifully de-toxed liver!
OoRoo
After reading all the thread, I feel quite normal.
Other posters have said what was in my head but didn't want it to come out.
Whilst we are told encouraged to "get outside" "take vit D" "exercise" "eat healthy" "do crosswords" "listen to music" etc etc .
What happens when you just cant be bothered to do any of those.
Maybe its the time of year and we all Spring into action (I do hope so)
At the moment I am trying to come to terms with my mums cancer(mesothelioma) my dds separation and exs constant abusive txt that has effected her mental state,my 5 yr old gsons outburst melt downs, causing problems at school and childminders, my dads Parkinsons. I also still work part time at well known supermarket, which I love.(keeps me sane)
But I am determined to get out on my Bicycle with my friend and pedal along the canal (picnic lunch) once the weather improves I have started taking vit D /B complex high strength.for about 4 weeks now, I think! there is a very slight improvement.
Its so easy being told what we "should" be doing, but some days so hard to put it into practise.
I shall try search out my gs Magic Wand from his Magicians box and wave it around gnet
Keep going everyone, a new day today
I missed you!
BlueSky Aw Gee! That's nice of you! "Nice" is getting a bit of a workout lately but it means a lot.
How are you going on for water down there in the SW? I never look at the Good Morning thread these days; The medical bulletins and lack of activities don't sit well with our action-packed Summer, at least the one we've just had and would rather forget! now it's showers and drizzle. I expect Annie will report on a soggy "mid-Wales" and a damp Fred!
We're still grieving over Man. City's plight and hoping an appeal will succeed.
Keep your chins up and above the high-tide mark.!
OoRoo
having nice conversations is a great help
IrishGranny Welcome! I agree, especially if they are more than just one-liners!
I'm one of a rare species around here, a Grandad living on my own in OZ and loving conversations about anything, anytime, but remember we are 11 hours ahead of the UK, so replies may not be instantaneous at 3am our time!
Where abouts are you? Not nosey! Just curious!
Slainte
Hi. I joined a few days ago , this is exactly the conversation I need to hear! Great to hear all the positive comments. I had lots of kids and a busy life. I spent many weekends the last few years visiting my sick parents hours away and never lived alone till over a year ago. I moved to a smaller house in a town where I know few people then a few weeks later my Dad died then my Mam a few weeks after Dad. So living alone has been difficult and it's so sad losing lovely parents but I'm happy to have found this group. Life can be hard for all of us but having nice conversations is a great help. So despite rotten wind and weather I'm heading out for a walk. Thanks for the energy.
Hi Rufus! I missed you! Glad you are hom, hospitals aren't the best places to be. Don't over do it now!
Glad to hear you’re back home and well again.
Urmstongran Thank you very much for your good wishes! Not quite "well again" "cos I intend to milk this affliction for sympathy as long as I can!
I note from another thread that you will be off to sunny Spain shortly, assuming Himself doesn't spend your ticket money in the pub!
You may be interested in this anecdote, or not!
My fellow patient in hospital, Antonio, was/is a Catalan, 88, came to OZ as a kid and still has a good imitation accent of Benny Hill, of Spanish onions/bunions fame I didn't find out if he'd become a naturalised Aussie, although I'd doubt he'd have relinquished his Catalonian roots
Based on a straw poll of my Catalonian acqaintences, i.e. one, I'd say that 50% are very charming and 50% awkward sods!
Poor nurses had a battle even to take his routine blood pressure! he'd lie in bed initially as quiet as a log then suddenly unleash like a croc. and just as quick, shouting "Noooooo!" kicking out with his legs and almost laying hands on them. Nurses, being fit and young, easily avoided damage; I was in the next bed hoping they'd call Security to see how they dealt with such situations, but no such luck!
Yet during the day we had very interesting talks; he'd been a teacher, French/Spanish and had travelled Europe of course.
You certainly meet all sorts in hospitals!
I know you're not a genuine Mancunian like what I am (Ardwick), but you're free to use that as a dinner-table conversation starter, (or finisher!) when you're popping olives! Have a safe trip. and watch out for flailing feet!
OoRoo
wake up a few times to take trips to the bathroom. I try not to drink anything late in the evening
Alexa My perfect solution, although I don't think you're eligible! I'm just out of a week's stay in hospital (details not relevant here ) , but spent admission day being ferried around Melb. all day in an ambulance and nobody asked if I wanted "to go"! . Consequently, when I had a bladder CAT scan it was full, so the doc. thought I was suffering bladder retention and shoved in a catheter!
Problem solved! Drink as much as you like, lay back and no more trips. Sorry if I've shocked anyone! 
I'm sure you've got your own special devices, but I don't think I need to know!
Btw; It wasn't a DIY job!
OoRoo
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