Lockdown Children.

Yes you see parents busy on thei mobile phones .How hard is it to say

RTT means read the thread.

What does RTT mean?

It's not uncommon to see someone on a thread talking about their own experience with seemingly no understanding of anyone else's.
Even when an OP asks for advice on a specific question, there'll be a few replies just rambling on about themselves.
I suppose those people have a very limited view of life, and they can't help it.

And so it continues, sweeping generalisations, cold, critical, judgemental comments.
SusieWong sees a small number of parents who seem unable to parent their children properly.... This is mild neglect and these parents are very often referred to a parenting skills course to learn skills they may not have been part of themselves!!. What would you prefer to happen SusieWong?

Galaxy - I do wish some posters would RTT before making comparisons with their own fortunate families and the children and families who do need state support.

Have you read the thread gingster. As many of us working in this area have explained, a quite common reaction to stress is regression. Crikey it's a well known phenomenon for older children to regress slightly when a new baby in the house. Some of these children will have had an extremely stressful lockdown, I am glad your experience was positive but that was not the case for many many children.

I. CAnt understand this. All my 8 GC benefited from being at home with their families, during lockdown. My DD is a single mum with 4 children. Dg 18 who has gone on to uni, twin boys of 14 and. 5 yr old Dg. They weren’t doing school work all the time , but enjoyed keeping fit, cooking and baking, walks in the countryside. 5 yr old doing craft and puzzles, learning to ride a bike. Teachers have told mum that she is streaks ahead of some of the children in her reception class. What have some of these families been doing? Reverting to nappies. Can’t hold a knife and fork? For Heaven sake. ?

Agree with you tictacnana as someone who still works in a school I see a small percentage of parents who appear unable to parent their children property.
Table manners are non existent, children unable to toilet themselves properly, unable to dress and undress themselves, unable to speak properly etc etc
This is mild neglect and these parents very often are referred to a parenting course to learn the skills they may not have been part of themselves !!

I base my judgement on experience and , even though this does apply to all parents ( of course not... that would be daft) it is evidential. What else can it be ? Reading this thread that states that children NOT in school are now back in nappies. Whose responsibility is it to maintain toilet training during lockdown? I’d say parents.You obviously don’t think so.

It’s parenting that has regressed due to an inability or desire to take responsibility.

Apart from that being a judgemental and ill informed comment, it's also just plain wrong.

I feel very sorry for EY teachers who have to cope with toilet training etc. It is the responsibility of the parents. Teachers have enough to do teaching basic skills such as reading. It seems to me that some parents are able to absolve themselves from any responsibility for their children and pass it on to schools.

I’m not surprised that some children have regressed. It’s a sad fact that a lot of parents think it’s a teacher’s job to ‘bring up’ their children. As an EY teacher I was often criticised for not taking responsibility for toilet training, table manners, arranging doctor and speech therapy appointments, hospital visiting etc. I was also called ‘LAZY’ when a parent discovered that her 4 year old son couldn’t read The Sun newspaper after 3 whole weeks I’m my class! My Mum wasn’t a qualified teacher but we could all read before we started school and had reached all the reasonable behavioural milestones. It’s parenting that has
regressed due to an inability or desire to take responsibility.

glammagran
You are not going to say in the middle of an online meeting “Sorry, my small daughter needs help on the potty”

That reminded me of the gem of a moment when the new Shadow Chancellor was on a video link from home being interviewed by, I think, the BBC. It was all very serious then her small daughter gatecrashed the interview.

Speech is another area that more and more children are failing to grasp at a young age.
The number of Reception children requiring Speech and Language intervention is on the rise year on year.

Grannybags

I was shocked to hear that on the news this morning. What is happening at home for them to forget? Surely it is not the schools responsibility to toilet train children

It may not be happening at home. They might find the school environment challenging because although they are back, it isn't school as they have known it. I don't think it is a case of toilet training but goes deeper than that. Children seem so resilient that we don't always appreciate that they too can get stressed and one of the ways it can show itself in younger children is by regressing in being clean and dry. I find it all incredibly sad and I am very concerned for their future wellbeing.

Working mothers have had the world on their shoulders more during this year than others.

It was expected that men would work and women would do work and childcare.

Have so many older women slate them makes me so disheartened.

Most of us are not in their shoes, and in all normal cases really should not be critiquing them and calling them “bone idle”. What a slap in the face.

If their is Blame for lazy parents, maybe some here should look at their own parenting...after all gransnet is the generation who raised today’s parents.

My DGD2 is currently being potty trained aged 2.25 years. It’s going very well but requires constant vigilance. It would be impossible for my daughter to do this while she is WFH 3 days a week so thank heavens for GP’s and nursery 1 day a week. I completely understand the difficulties faced by some parents however. You are not going to say in the middle of an online meeting “Sorry, my small daughter needs help on the potty”.

I am64, l realised after my reply.

Cherrytree59 you are so right to point to the 'ordinary' parents , rather than the more vulnerable groups.
In our friendship/family groups it was usually the mothers who were working from home with father's out in the workplace during that first long lockdown.

WFH with a 2 year old and a 5 year old, out of school and nursery and grandparents unable to help as they usually would have. No wonder eating with cutlery and cooking three meals a day wasn't top of the agenda.
No wonder some children became anxious with their lives turned upside down

It's very strange for us at the moment and we understand what is happening and why we have to live as we do right now.
Although parents can try to explain to a very young child why they can't hug grandparents, see their friends, go out to play or go to the park, it is going to cause them anxiety.
Trying to explain too much could make them even more anxious.

Many parents because of lockdown were working from home, meaning some children may have been left to own devices infront of tv or computer games.
No help from extended family allowed.
What else could they do?
No time to reinforce behaviour.
(There were lots of parents posting on Mumsnet, mostly saying the were racked with guilt, but had to work from home without any help)

Toast breakfast
Sandwich for lunch
Fast food for tea.
No cutlery required.

What a lovely post maddyone.

This Be The Verse. BY PHILIP LARKIN
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

Musicgirl, you weren't the poster I referred to.

This thread continues to be one of the most unpleasant, judgemental and ill informed discussions I ever read on gransnet.
Chewbacca, Callistemon, Galaxy, petra and Maddyone, thanks so much for being well informed as well as providing balanced views. Thanks to posters whose names I missed who made positive contributions, rather than attacking "the parents of today"

Let's not have a culture of blame. The children regressed because they were anxious. Thanks Maddyone.

The report was written by OFSTED and was highlighting the fact that children, particularly young children, have regressed as a result of lockdown. GrauntyHelen is correct in saying that young children often regress as a response to stress and anxiety. It’s obvious that when children’s normal routines were abruptly discontinued and everyone was stressed, parents suddenly working from home, or children suddenly finding themselves in key worker care, like my little grandson who was at the time two years old, who was abruptly placed into key worker care and he was deprived of my husband and I who usually cared for him. How can children not suffer anxiety? How can they not pick up on the general anxiety around them? All normal family visits and family life abruptly halted! How can it not affect them? Toilet training and cutlery are not important in these times. Love, reassurance, stability (as much as was possible under the circumstances) these are what is important. Parents were generally doing their best under difficult circumstances. My daughter, who was working as a key worker, was stressed about the little one not being potty trained. I told her not to worry, there’s plenty of time, concentrate on what’s important, love, cuddles, routines as near possible as normal. The same with her six year olds. She stressed that she hadn’t time to do home schooling and not much teaching was happening in key worker care. As an ex teacher I told not to worry, when you’re at home take them out, keep them active, don’t worry about school work, and give them lots of love and reassurance. Make sure they’re happy.
Let’s not have a culture of blame. The children regressed because they were anxious. That’s why.