Retirement wishes and reality

We were working so hard- both starting to get exhausted.
2 close friends, younger than us, died suddenly in their early 50’s. Wake up call for us. Within a few years we’d saved enough to retire early. Fortunately we’re well & have managed to travel a lot & generally please ourselves. Includes moving / renovating/ making new friends / helping with grandchildren etc. We know we’re exceptionally fortunate- long may it last.

DH chose to start another job when we both retired from teaching at 60, and carried on working for six more years. After that we moved from an uninteresting city suburb to a small market town, well chosen for its amenities, though as DH’s mobility has worsened, he has to drive everywhere. We have an excellent bus service. My daughter lives in a village not far away so I see her once a week, and my son is not very far away but we see him less often.
On the face of it, everything is good, but DH has health conditions and poor mobility which makes outings tricky and holidays need lots of careful planning. He has problems eating out so it is always self- catering, though he will agree to a couple of pub meals during the week.
I mostly have to do my own thing, and I have a number of pleasurable activities which focus my week, but little enjoyment of a joint retirement. I had hoped to travel, but that chance has passed, and although our health is stable, we have little energy and too many aches and pains these days. But we are better off than many, and still have each other and family.

Not as exotic Barmeyoldbat but I retired early after a prior 6 month sabbatical which we spent in France. After retirement we spent 8 months of the following four years in France, a magical time, MrJ is self employed and younger than me, we both worked p/t in France. Then came Covid and all the Brexit changes, but we’re both so very glad we did it, I have a private pension we lived on, plus bits of work.
It wasn’t planned much in advance, just opportune.

I had to retire at 57 due to ill health. It took a few years to get stable but I did. Mr.B decided he wanted to retire 3mlnths before he was sixty. We had savings and both had private p ensigns, so we did our sums and decided to we could afford it. We were also able to go out to SE Asia for 3 or4 months over the winter as the pound was strong. So. That’s what we did for 10 years until I had my knee replaced and then along came Covid. So I am really pleased we did what we did, we have some lovely memories.

I had dreams of DH and I travelling all over Europe, ill forced me to retire early and no-one will insure me!

However, a change of mindset was required, we now try to have a day at the sea or a few days away in a cottage.
It means if I take ill, I can get home quickly or access help.
It is just as enjoyable, but in a different way.

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FundingNemo15 When DH & I (aged 63/60) moved to a small former market town from suburban city living we did have a list of priorities as we did not want to be forced to move again so walk to a shop , public transport and close to a bigger town. 11 years on & we are OK but when driving or mobility may become difficult it will need us to reflect... however that may have been the same if we had still been in the home in the suburbs ...

We escaped to the country and it is not all it is cracked up to be. Our village is very cliquey, the village shop is expensive, the buses are few and far between and our property is now proving to be a headache due to ill health of my DH.

What will happen when driving is not an option I dread to think.

Grandmagrewit

I knew I was going to face a pretty solitary retirement when I married my second husband who is 7 years younger than me. I retired and was able to claim my state pension at 62 (8 years ago) but he isn't eligible for his for another 4 years. I'm perfectly willing to pursue my own activities and for a while after retirement I did voluntary work but I'm no longer able to drive (failing sight) and, post Covid I have yet to feel confident about using public transport again. We have endless debates about whether DH should just stop work now so that we can visit family more (they live nearly 4 hours away) and do things together before I have even more health problems. But it would be very difficult to live just on my pension, especially now with living costs rising so hugely, and we'd have no spare money to do anything anyway. I'd be interested to hear what others have done whilst waiting for younger (or still working) husbands to retire. I sometimes feel like I'm just wishing time away, which is stupid.

I'm 7 years younger than my partner...he retires next year at 66 and I will retire too ( at 59) ....we have savings....I have x 2 pri ate pensions... we are quite frugal anyway but still plan to travel

LisaP

All my retirement plans have gone out of the window - any money I had set aside for this event is now being spent on my son's custody battle to gain access to his children.

Oh, god, LisaP, I really feel for you with this. Such a painful situation. Hope you both get a good outcome as soon as possible.

I thought we'd get ourselves a little camper and poodle about Britain during the Summer months but DH's health problems have kind of put paid to that. I have always wanted to live somewhere gorgeous and remote but, realistically speaking, that isn't practical the way society works now with poor local transport and all the little post offices and shops closed down. I still work part-time, and I'm glad, because it means I can escape the house. It's not that I don't love DH, just that having him constantly around - but doing pretty much nothing every day - is getting on my nerves. If his health was better the situation would probably be better - at least I'd like to think so, anyway. But yes, dreaming about what one will do when retired never took into consideration health problems, general wear and tear, and changes to retirement ages. If my hubby had been able to retire five years ago when he originally should've done, until the government upped the age limit, we probably wouldn't be in this position now.

When i started working at the age of 15, I understood that I had to work until the age of 60, unless I made tons of money and could retire early. From then onwards, I decided I wanted to retire at 55 or better still, 50. Well that balloon soon burst, after several decades of the gender pay gap and, not being too bright, having run of the mill jobs, here I am with still another year and a half to go before State Pension. Good job I don't have a lavish liftsyle.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crazyH

Sorry, for those whose retirement plans have been shattered due to bereavement.
Welcome to Aussiegran - I’ve only recently realised that this site covers other countries, not just U.K. That really is great!

I'm another in Australia, and not even a grandmother.

I like the range of topics here on GN, with the immediate focus on people of one's age.

Sorry, for those whose retirement plans have been shattered due to bereavement.
Welcome to Aussiegran - I’ve only recently realised that this site covers other countries, not just U.K. That really is great!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Meant to say U3A

I didn’t really have retirement plans as due to health issues it’s quite hard to plan ahead. I used to have a job I loved in a mental health team in Essex, near London. Then I moved up to Northumberland seven years ago and have loved living in Alnwick. Northumbrian people are warm and friendly and it’s ‘doggie’ country due to all the open space and a lowly populated county. I love dogs. I have had two dogs since living up here. I live next to beautiful countryside and only four miles from the sea and wide open uncrowded beaches. So I feel very fortunate. There is also plenty to get involved in with URA and charity activities at the Alnwick Garden. Also a wonderful second hand bookshop called Barter Books. I could go on. ?

I retired early just as covid hit ! Had trips booked to Jersey mykonos Australia and New Zealand all cancelled got money back but disappointed. We went around UK when we could travel which we enjoyed.But we are considering booking a Titan tour to calfornia in September as we both turn 60 .
But we grateful for our health and hoping to rebook big destinations next year all being well .

Well I retired last summer and DH had been retired for 4 years. So far it's going well. Never had any massive plans just hoping for plenty of holidays and have several booked ?. We also live close to grandchildren so are heavily involved with them but fully aware they won't need us forever. I have a few hobbies that keep me busy but DH doesn't really except for his computer. We have joined the u3a which I would recommend to everyone. DH has a stable but potentially terminal condition so well aware to enjoy what we can while we can.

I will be retiring in a few months time. I always have this dream that when I retire, I will return to my home country and spend the rest of my life with my sisters and brothers.

The reality is my husband is too old to move there, I will miss my daughter too much and the place overseas has become too crowded.

I also began to realise where we are is just right - not too busy, not too rural with good amenities nearby.

Since travel is open again, I will go to Prague with my DD to celebrate my 60th birthday, later this year we will all go to Asia to visit to family.

I love sightseeing but because of my husband’s age, we are restricted to the type of holidays we can have, the last time we visited one of tropical islands nearby, we spend our days just feeding the fishes in the sea!
I consider myself lucky that my husband is still with me.

Duggindoris, you should let your garden grow wild, if your DH husband complain, you could say if he apply for benefits which enable you to claim carer’s allowance, you could have hire a gardener to look after the garden.

Reality and dreams are two different things, aren't they? My DH became very ill in his mid fifties and died not long after diagnosis so our previous plans, modest though they were, were shattered.

We'd moved to a seaside town but after my own ill health I moved back inland to be nearer family. I'm reasonably content but not exactly H A P P Y - I just plod on from day to day, keeping busy with creative hobbies, etc.

I've got the basics - a roof over my head, food in my belly, clothes on my back - but the day to day reality has been disappointing. I try not to let it get me down as I still have much to be thankful for, there is after all, always someone who is worse off than oneself.

Duggindoris, I’m so sorry. Your position is so similar to Saggi’s. I agree with Sodapop. The extra money to which you’re entitled to would help so much. I know nothing about the benefits system but can you claim without your husband’s involvement??

Sorry to hear life is so difficult for you Diggindoris can your family talk to your husband about the benefits issue. Maybe you should have a few days away to bring home the reality of what you do to your husband. He does seem to have a selfish attitude toward you unless I am missing something.
I hope things improve for you.

A little croft in the Highlamds of Scotland for me. Absolute peace and quiet. Now I have 4 grandsons I can't think of leaving them at all.