Move on

I wish I had some "magic wand" advice, but alas can only say I could weep for you Remember your friends who ARE here to listen and support you in any way we can xx

I know just how you feel. It is well over a year since my daughter cut off all contact with me and I have given up hoping that she will ever realise how wrong she is. I am more hurt by her three children who must know that her accusations are nonsense. However, I do have contact with her oldest daughter and my two great-grand-daughters. I also have another daughter who is very loving and so are her six children. None of them can understand their cousins' attitude as they know how much I did for them when their mother was very ill.
I find I think about it less and less but the injustice will always be there.
I waver between anger and sadness - I can only hope that some day I will feel indifferent.

Thank you great nan and graces mum.

It has been fantastic on this forum alas graces mum no wand but guess try and keep some hope.

Thank god for my son. And good friends including cyber ones!

It is possible that in a few years' time this will have to a certain extent, blown over and once the girls are old enough to make their own choices you might be able to establish and keep contact. Their cousins and other members of the family will ensure they receive a balanced view of what has gon on - it is pointless to say "be patoent" - but I fear it will be the best you can hope for at least at the present. Do NOT let it undermine or destroy other relationships.

Oh graces mum thank you worst thing is feeling so inferior to other grans who enjoy normal relationship with daughter and grand kids like I am to blame not good enough or as she said too violent and aggressive!

Very hard to know that is your own daughter opinion. I hope my blog for mollie will show her how much we cared and maybe the girls will find it strange how my daughter cut her whole family out .

Well - I don't think you should feel inferior at all - unlucky yes, but not inferior.

Stick with the counsellor - you really have to have somene outside the situation helping you.

Thanks mishap think you right about counsellor.

Guess just way she has rubbished my personality sometimes makes me feel that way but try not to and think well she is one with problem!

It is only since joining Gransnet that I have become aware of how many people have family sadnesses or health issues because on the whole the image of retirement and grandparenthood is of silver-haired (but otherwise fit and healthy and apparently only about 45 year-old) couples off on brisk hikes, dinner dances or cruises, clearly well-off, so enjoying generous pensions, surrounded by doting grown up children who return to the "nest" with their equally perfect 2.4 children for joyous family reunions in lovely spacious houses with immaculate gardens and for whom the 7 signs of ageing have nothing to do with infirmity, dementia, incontinence, failing eyesight, arthritis or bereavement
The media have a lot to answer for.
Scratch the surface and while not rejoicing for one nanosecond in anybody else's problems, at least you do not need to feel alone

gracesmum Well said.

Gracesmum That is my position exactly. We are pushed into a feeling that somehow we have failed if we do not have this.
Which is just how I feel on a bad day.

Well, Nellie DON'T !! There's an awful lot of us nowhere near the stereotype - we just need to be there to support each other whne needed. Oh and for s and s

Agreed.

It's what we do best

Hear hear to us all!
The media hype up every occasion Xmas valentines Easter Mother's Day Father's Day apart from our situ don't think I am alone in getting so bored with all the hype when we feel forced to behave in certain way and buy stuff we don't need!

Lets keep cheerful and positive on bright note feel blessed with my lovely son and oh and friends and gransnet !

celebgran - I could never begin to imagine the pain that would result from being cut off from children and grandchildren. I sincerely hope you do manage to rekindle the relationship you yearn for.
As for the councelling please remember that it does sometimes feel as though the sessions are making matters worse, it is part of the process, I felt exactly the same and sometimes still do.
Please don't let the pressures destroy your marriage but I do understand that the slightest innocent comment can seem like an insurmountable affront to your intelligence, It's what happens or so I am told, it's symptomatic.
As for coping tips, I'm afraid I am the last person to be in a position to answer as I am finding it almost impossible to cope myself. All I can offer is try to adopt a belligerant fighting spirit and refuse to be beaten. Easier said than done, I know, but it might help given time. At the same time perhaps be prepared to compromise, unilaterally if necessary, swallow all pride and say sorry in fact anything that is required to sow the seeds for a resurected relationship. It's not easy, not by a long shot but the life we have is finite therefore far too short not to try. It may not work but at least your heart will know there is nothing else you could have done or tried. Being honest with ourselves is a must.
I do wish you the very best and thoughts are with you - don't give up.

celebgran and ps Hanging on in there

Thanks ps for tasking trouble to Comment.

I sent so many lovely letters and cards saying sorry even tho dont know why and nothing produces a response! Just blank wall silence weird like our daughter no longer has any feelings r emotions.

We would o anything within reason to try put it right !
Dont think we have any pride left!