Gaslighting/Ghosting

Oh for the days when you called something what it was and didn’t have to have pages explaining stupid names

Gaslighting is a horrible thing.

Ghosting is a deliberate decision to cut off a relationship with no conversation. Different, IMO, than a gradual phase out of a friendship like what may have happened during lockdown.

I am a very direct person and have no problem telling a person why I no longer want to be friends, but honestly, there are people who it may be easier to ghost.

My DH and I have been ghosted by a couple we were friendly with for years. The situation was quite complicated. But my DH had put his neck on the line to support this couple when a man in the same organisation was accused (rightly) of sexually intimidating my friend. He was chucked out , but our friends still left anyway. Things were ok for a while, but then suddenly , nothing! Phone calls, texts etc all went unanswered. I wrote and told them when my DS became a dad. My friend had adored my DS. No response at all. I am not a social person and struggle to make friends. This friend was special and we had had great times as a foursome. Ghosting hurts.

Hi this is my first reply on here. I have a friend of nearly 30 years and I moved 12 years ago and ended up in the same street (house swop). We did all sorts together - lunch, bands, festivals (local) , I gave her lifts when she didn't have a car. We were in our 50s, had boyfriends come and go. A few years ago she reconnected with an ex, I met him and got on well with him. Covid happened but we chatted on the street after clapping for carers. However as restrictions eased she slowly distanced herself, I sent wedding photos of my son, she never commented. When I told her about my 2nd grandchild she was more interested in talking about her bf drunken night out. I didn't get invited out for her bday with her saying she thought I was Covid phobic after the event. Gradually I've given up sending texts, apart from Xmas when I sent a card and NY when I sent a text. Favour returned on both ocassions. Also happened with another of my neighbours who was her friend also. I don't understand what's happened but have been gracious about it and refuse to beg, I have witnessed her falling out with many of her close friends over the years. It does sting, 30 years is a long time and we've experienced divorce, breakups, parental deaths, children's illnesses, etc. Anyone else experienced this? Apologies in advance for any autocorrects that confuse ?????

The term "gaslighting" reminds me of the film of the same name set in Victorian times. A man marries an heiress and tries to make her believe she is going insane so he can control her property. He uses a variety of manipulative techniques such hiding things, so he can claim she has "lost" them

That is indeed where the term comes from biglouis. The husband (Charles Boyer ?) interferes with the gas supply to their house so that the lights flicker and go dim , etc convincing the wife (Ingrid Bergman) that she is going mad.