Is it normal behaviour?

Flippin2you need to start a new thread and then people can advise.

Some ladies actually welcome a short hug.
your DH may like them and is just to pleased to see them and have their company. He may be doing them a favour with a fleeting physical contact, purely out of friendship.
I can remember one lady telling the minister as he shook hands after the service "That's the first physical contact with another human being in a week".
There may be nothing in it, other than friendship, If so, don't deny your friends a seconds fleeting pleasure.

Maybe he just enjoys the company of women. If his behaviour hasn't bothered you before, why does it now? I feel sure that if he did or said anything inapropriate, one of the women would have commented by now. Most of us can tell a sleaze a mile off, but your DH doesn't sound like that at all.

I would explain to him how his behaviour may come across to others.
"Times have changed" and some things are "no longer" acceptable.

Tell him he may be being "mis-read" by others and you don't want that to happen and for him to seem to be sleazy.
Good luck.

How ever well your OH knows these women it isn't appropriate for him to physically touch them, whether you are present or not.

Time for a conversation with him expressing how his behaviour makes you feel as his wife and how these other women couple be feeling when he's talking to and touching them.

The time will come when he will touch the wrong person at the wrong time and someone will take defensive action and call him out.

Put yourself in the other women's position, being touch and subjected to someone sleazy behaviour is disgusting!

I retired aged 64 in April, my husband (we've been together 9 yrs) is retiring this year. He wants us to move to the coast, I said I would even tho it means leaving kids, grandkids, two hours away. I moved away from my family when younger so I know life goes on and family is family, that's not my worry.. Its that we're bickering constantly, house looking is so stressful,I'm trying to be practical, he's all don't worry about it, just chill.. We have to be out of our home in 4 weeks and we have nothing lined up, we're going to be cash buyers as he has come into an inheritance so refuses to do anything about looking until money is in his account.. I'm so stressed, I'm packing up our home and don't know where we're going.. I'm a need to have a definite plan, kind of person, he's an everything will be fine, it will sort itself.. my eldest daughter has said the more he knows he's winding me up the more he'll do it and that I have to not react, which is far easier said than done for me...

My husband is a flirt. Always has been. I am not bothered by it because I know he loves me. We are literally soul mates.
I just roll my eyes at him and make fun of him later.

(and) - a long time neighbour (married with family) is very flirty/touchy with me lately - so I just assume he's having some age-related problems, perhaps the start of dementia? I'm always backing away and asking after his wife.

I'm puzzled by why it's a problem now - after 45 years?

Ooh you definitely need to express how you feel about this one. How would he feel if the boot were on the other foot? It’s bothered you enough to post on here so it needs to be addressed. That’s not being confrontational, you just need to be heard.

Not a good idea to touch in any way, even if just on shoulder or arm!

well he would hardly say there was more to it, that he'd take it further if given a chance.
maybe he wouldn't do so.
but just stating that seems a low bar.
he should tell you he will cut it out now that he knows it bothers you.

itstormy - don’t want to scare you, but ‘flirting’ at work parties etc is how it started with my husband (now Ex). When I used to question him about it he used to say “it’s all in your head” - but then, your husband is affectionate with you. Mine started to move away from me, not just figuratively, if you know what I mean.
I hope you feel better and things are hunky dory ..

Has your husband always been like that? If so, then it's normal for him. If not, tell him you don't like it. I don't think it's typical of all men over a certain age - my husband is 64, we've been married for 42 years, and he's still the shy type I married, and he's still affectionate towards me (and only me)

They like to still feel they are young and it’s a bit of an ego thing. Yes like to still feel they can chat up the ladies. I get that with men I just smile they are ladies men

Thank you for a wide variety of thoughts.
I broached the subject, stating how I felt without accusing.
Got a good and I believe genuine response, basically that nothing untoward was being considered.
I do feel happier having tackled it rather than letting it fester. Appreciate very much the encouragement and support on here. Special hello to Smileless 2012 who I know from another board.

It is embarrassing for you, but I doubt if it means more than he considers himself a 'ladies man' (old fashioned term for silly old-fashioned behaviour).
Tell him gently he is becoming embarrassing, and note his reaction.

As long as you trust him I do not see a problem, however, if it bothers you then tell him how you feel.

I don't like the comment about predatory women, he is the one that is married so it is up to him to put them straight, he has self-control.

Over familiar men over a certain age are just off putting and makes women feel uncomfortable. Maybe they don't realise how seedy they appear but they often do.

I've stopped going to a group where a couple of older men had sidled up to me and started to be too intrusive with remarks and looks/smirks. In no way did I give any encouragement only to talk politely but it made me feel as if I was giving the wrong signals...and I wasn't. Not interested.

I've seen, many times, older men in the street or sitting in cafes waiting for their wives so obviously ogling at young girl/women, looking them up and down...and it's quite nauseating.

By older I suppose I mean 60's and upwards.

What I noticed though is how reluctant you are to talk to your DH about this. Do you feel you have to fear his reactions so much? How open are the two of you with subjects which matter and might bother each of you?

Sorry your reply wasn’t there when I wrote Are you sure it’s not you being more insecure since he’s mixing with more women now
Only you know if you can trust him or not but don’t blame the women if he’s over familiar with them

I don’t understand why it’s become a problem NOW has he just become like this? it doesn’t sound it from how you have written
If he’s always been like it it sounds as if it’s just ‘his way’
Some people are just more touchy/feely than others but doesn’t mean anything negative by it HOWEVER if it’s started bothering you mention it to him and tell him his behaviour is a bit cringy

Thank you for replies. Circumstances have changed where he is mixing with more females now without me. I think he is a people pleaser and wants everyone to like him. He can be a bit over the top talking to men as well. Like PinkCosmos I worry that available females will return his behaviour and things escalate. Yes, someone did comment I would have to watch him.

You’ve been married to him for 45 years and now you ask??

Baggs

The thread title asks "is it normal behaviour". If it's normal for him and always has been then yes it is normal.

I agree. Lots of women are touchy, touchy people but I've never heard anyone suggest there is something wrong with them. If he's always been like that I suppose the question is, why are you suddenly uncomfortable? Maybe because someone has put the thought in your head?

I think old men don’t realise they are old men and that flirting behaviour is usually seen by others in a way that may shock the flirter. Same applies to women who flirt. My advice is to copy his behaviour and see if he minds!