....am I being unreasonable to suggest we have our own, more mature version?
With the Fifty Shades Trilogy breaking all sales records, spawning appreciation societies and leading to a dramatic increase in sales of handcuffs, 'Mummy Porn' is the new buzzy media expression.
I gave up after reading a quarter of the first book and started to think about the literary talents on Gransnet. We could do better!
So instead of young hero Christian Grey (rich, sado-masochist, likes to control and hurt women) and young heroine Anastasia Steele (muppet who lets him) let's call our mature leading characters, Chris Beige and Ana Zinc.
What erotic vignettes can we come up with for our new characters? How about....
As dusk approached, Mr Beige banged the safety bar on his stairlift in a masterful manner and called out 'Ana! Press the button NOW!' Ana stood on the landing gazing down upon her master as he rose towards her (geddit?) As he came closer and closer, she felt the release of her inner goddess. With one hand resting seductively on the handle of her glittered walking stick, she unrolled the garters from the top of her lisle stockings and prepared herself to be overwhelmed.
Over to you ladies & gents......