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LucyGransnet (GNHQ) Thu 28-Jul-16 10:07:36

Unexpected friendships

It was only when author Lesley Pearse found wonderful new friends while visiting her holiday home, that she realised how much happier she could be if she left her own lonely village.

Lesley Pearse

Unexpected friendships

Posted on: Thu 28-Jul-16 10:07:36

(31 comments )

Lead photo

Would you up sticks for new friendships?

When I bought a holiday home in Torquay five years ago I wanted a seaside retreat where I could write in peace without anyone turning up uninvited. What I didn’t expect was that I’d fall in love with the place, make a whole set of new friends and find myself not wanting to go home to my cottage near Bath.

The sea began the love affair, the wilder and rougher it was, the better I liked it, and after living in a rural village where after 4pm in the winter you couldn’t venture out with the dog as there was no street lighting, what a joy it was to go walking late in the evening along the promenade. It’s all lit up like a Christmas tree even in the dead of winter, and a late walk after dinner is very good for one.

Early morning walks on a beach are a different kind of bliss too.

But it was the new set of friends which made me want to live here permanently. First I met Barry who had a small and beautiful hotel next door. Our dogs greeted each other first and Barry and I got chatting. Before he opened his hotel he’d been a butler, and his stories about that life were fascinating. But our friendship was cemented when I was very poorly with ‘flu and he brought me wonderful homemade soup, and showed what a kind and caring man he was. He is funny, wise, great company, and he filled a hole I hadn't realised I even had in my life until then. I hasten to add this is not a romance, Barry is gay, and in so many ways that is even better as I have no wish to find another relationship.

All at once I realised I had a much fuller, happier life here than I had in my old village. There it seemed I was always being asked to fork out money for some worthy event, but rarely included in anything purely social.


Barry introduced me to all his friends, who vary from hotel owners, a solicitor, a nurse, hairdressers and property developers, and before I knew it I was getting invitations to dinner, drinks, parties, theatre, coffee and afternoon teas. I even went on a fabulous holiday to Italy with Barry. All at once I realised I had a much fuller, happier life here than I had in my old village. There it seemed I was always being asked to fork out money for some worthy event, but rarely included in anything purely social. I suspect a lone lady is perceived as something of a threat!

So I decided to up sticks and move here, but as the holiday apartment wasn't really ideal for a permanent home for all the family when they visit, I found a dream property overlooking a pretty bay. It required a lot of work, but with good friends for advice, I wasn't daunted, and as they love shopping, interior design and gardening as much as I do, I can always rely on company. Another thing which I find so heart-warming about my new friends is that they take a real interest in my children and grandchildren, they love my books, and my dog! I can be myself and I feel safe and loved. That, I can tell you, is a dream come true.

Lesley's new book Dead To Me is published by Michael Joseph and is available now from Amazon.

By Lesley Pearse

Twitter: @LesleyPearse

Ilrina Thu 11-Aug-16 16:10:08

I would move to my ideal home in a flash if I won millions. My dream home is a castle with a moat, drawbridge and portcullis. No surprise visitors for me ! I would have a courtyard in the centre where I could sit in peace. Fantastic!

seacliff Thu 11-Aug-16 16:30:56

This blog really "spoke to me", I live in an isolated area with few friends around, and an unhappy marriage. I have been dreaming/planning of moving to the sea.I just love it in all seasons - (maybe because I am a water sign lol)

It would be the Kent or Sussex coast not too far from my family in London. I have looked at places like Deal - I love to walk by the sea, although I have no dog (just cats). It would be lonely, but there seem to be quite a few social groups in the area (unlike here). This link might be good for some of you, elsewhere in the country.

www.meetup.com/cities/gb/g5/dover/o

grannypiper Sat 03-Sep-16 11:45:36

Nanaseaside, go for it and i wish you contentment and FUN

grannypiper Sat 03-Sep-16 11:49:01

We made the move 18 months ago and it really is the best thing ever, we could never go back to the home counties to live, just been on a visit for DD wedding and we couldnt wait to leave the madness behind, they only traffic jams we have now are caused by cows.

grannyactivist Sat 03-Sep-16 13:06:24

fourormore what a touching post - I'm sure your 'old bids' value you every bit as much as you do them.

marmight - I look forward to hearing about your move and the next chapter. Making the decision is the big thing - well done. smile I hope you find somewhere you can settle and continue your new adventure. In your shoes, and knowing how very close you are to the sea, I think I would have to find another seaside place - I couldn't bear to be far away from it now.

Marmight Sat 03-Sep-16 13:19:53

Thanks GA. First - sell the house; I don't exactly have a queue forming but it is the end of the hols and post bloomin' Brexit. I will wait until it is sold before making a decision and will probably rent first. DD3 is moving to Exmouth, so it may well be in that direction so not far from you! Nevertheless, it is quite stressful and I hope it doesn't take forever hmm

grannyactivist Sat 03-Sep-16 13:43:02

Sorry, my last post was a slight digression.

Speaking of unexpected friendships, we have had a very lovely Malaysian girl lodging with us for more than a year now and she is just about to leave us as she has a new job elsewhere in the country. We have lots of people living with us, but now and again there are some really special people who touch our hearts and she is one. She will remain a friend for life I have no doubt.