Thank you letters.

I would have asked how you could know that it had not been stolen lost in the post if you did not get an acknowledgement that it had arrived, and while telling you it had arrived? And if she had handed it over on person, would they have thanked her then, or just grabbed it without a word?

Good grief, they are children receiving a generous gift from someone who has no obligation whatsoever to give it, not venerable gods being placated by offerings at their shrine and loftliy ignoring both offerings and woershippers.

Several typos in that post. Sorry.

My DD always picks up little "ThankYou" notelets from the card shop when she is on her travels and keeps them for when the children have been given anything,you can buy a pack of 10 for 99p so it is not something that will break the bank and it gives the children a clear message about manners and thinking of other people's feeling.

My DS2's partner makes 'thank you' cards with a picture of one or both of the boys (depending on the occasion) and gets them to add a message.

My DGC always send thank you letters.
I taught their parents to , so they have just carried on , IMO is NOT outdated at all.
Just common good manners and taking a little time .

[tbusmile]

I either send a short thank you letter or I may send an email especially if something has been sent by post and these days one does not know if the item will arrive. This is especially where I live, we receive mail from the PO and 10 minutes later something else from TNT, that is if it has not been dumped in a bag behind a bush.

I think that it is common courtesy and politeness.

Charley

It does seem that the thank you letter is dying out a bit - but it should not. My GC who live away tend to print something out on the computer and do their squiggle at the end. Or the oldest sends an email.

I do remember the post-Christmas chore of letters - sitting at the dining table racking my brains to think of what to say to some distant relative whom I barely knew and who had sent some entirely inappropriate present! But it was a good discipline and established the concept of good manners.

Mishap I am still receiving gifts which are inappropriate and I also find it diffcult to say thank you while being polite. My sister in law by marriage thinks that I like cheap, horrid ornaments- actually no and I cannot take them to a charity shop in case she visits.

When I was a teenager, I used all my creative ability to write gushing letters ("the handkerchief sachet is exactly what I wanted..."). I don't think they had the desired effect because I still received bizarre gifts the following Christmas.

Charleygirl My old aunt used to tell us all that any gifts were gratefully received, as long as they wouldn't require dusting!
I am just about to sit down and write thank you notes to the two adult children of a good friend of ours, who organised a 70th birthday party for him at the weekend.

A thank-you is always welcome, regardless of how it is delivered. Email, fb, letter, card, telephone call or in person. I don't have any expectations in receiving thanks particularly, but it's much appreciated when it happens.

I agree with * Elegran * would she not have said thank you if the gift was handed over in person ?

My friend sent my DGS ( 11 yrs old ) some money for Easter and when I gave it to him yesterday he immediately wrote a short thank you note.

I always write a note if I am not seeing the giver in person. I also write a note if I have been at a party or an occasion or visited someone. It really doesn't take a moment and gives much pleasure.

Me too Ginny it only takes a few minutes doesn't it?
If I have sent anything at all through the post I always want to know it reached it's destination.

Even now my son is 19 he still phones and asks 'Now who do I have to send 'thank-yous' to?'

My sisters and I decided a while ago that we no longer expected anything from our adult nieces and nephews, but it was all done very democratically. Grandparents, great-aunts, in-laws and uncles are still written to, plus any others.

Facebook is quite helpful. Sometimes I will write 'a parcel is on its way' to a niece or nephew - then they do reply to say it has arrived, but as we are quite a big family, I feel they have enough on their plate already.

Big family, small family, jobs, social life, oh dear no time to say 'Thank you' . Bet they find time to spend any money sent to them though.

My daughter's children always send thank you letters; my son's never do. This really annoys my daughter and she complains to me - I'm not sure why she thinks I can do anything about it. I've tried to encourage them to at least phone, email or even text and occasionally it works.

That's why we stopped forcing our adult children to write thank yous. The stress was too great. Sometimes we get them three months late, but they do trickle in eventually.

Money is one thing, ginny - but having to say thank you for a present you gave them three years previously is another! I once got into trouble for refusing to thank a great-aunt for a thick sickly pink nylon badly-knitted cardigan. I swear she knitted it for herself then decided she didn't like it.

I'm not sure that it has to be a hand written note (technology moves on) but I do like to receive some thanks for a gift or meal. When my son and family moved overseas I had fond expectations of letters arriving with exciting stamps but they only ever text or use facebook. I did once get a birthday card and gift through the post from them but even gifts usually arrive via Amazon. Still, at least we are not forgotten!
I do send letters to older friends and relatives but I guess emails are just easier and more reliable, not to mention instant!

The consensus seems to be yes to thank you letters. My friend doesn't have a computer so e-mail, facebook etc don't apply. I think a thank you card wouldn't take a minute and my friend would be very pleased to know her gift was well received.

I have a guilty secret re thank you letters. I have several friends who send DGS gifts through me. I have tried gentle reminders to DD but without success. Now I send the thank yous using an app on my iPhone called Touchnote. You can add a photo of the child with gift and a pleasant message which then arrives through the post with no indication that it is from me and not DD.
I know this is not morally sound, but justify it to myself by the thought that the thoughtful people are thanked and my hardworking daughter has one less job to do.

Yes, with parents being so busy etc. and understanding that life is a bit hectic, my take is:
if I am not involved, it's up to them!
if I am, I'll encourage DGC to draw a thank you (not writing yet, and we see him weekly, so easy to do) and send it myself.
I have also rung my friend and in the course of conversation, said "Oh, I know that DS & DDiL / DGC were so grateful for the xxxx you kindly sent"

So someone has acknowledged the gifts, Vesper, and shown that they are appreciated. That is good.

Presents should not be ignored.