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Down to earth with a bump!!

(70 Posts)
kittylester Sat 29-Aug-15 16:34:01

The other day I was talking to someone who bought my ex-sister-in-law's house. ExSil moved about 5 years ago and the person who now lives in the house (who must be at least 45!!) said 'the old lady who lived in the house before us .........'.

At the time, my exSiL would have been 60 and is 6 months younger than me! I was feeling quite good about myself until then!

NfkDumpling Sun 30-Aug-15 08:09:33

I supposed it's a compliment then Kitty that you weren't seen as being old.

I don't get that anymore - I am that old lady!!

fluttERBY123 Sun 30-Aug-15 08:15:37

Why, thatbags? It means people are looking at me and seeing nothing but An Old Person who is obviously Past It. They don't see A Person. How do they know i'm not a yoga expert or an ex professional dancer? Same thing applies in a way to racism. This is a Black Person, not A Person.

nfkDumpling, I have no problem with people giving me a seat on the tube, but then it's a question of need - I will look uncomfortable just as a pregnant woman or a person with a stick would - common courtesy. Retired discounts - hmmm - a bit cheeky but nice!

thatbags Sun 30-Aug-15 08:20:35

Why do you assume that someone who sees an old person sees only that and nothing beyond? I don't when I look at (and engage with) old people.

I think that assumption is ageist too. And I think the ageism so many seem to be feeling is based on fear, fear of being to old to cope. It's a natural fear and I reckon many people must feel it at some point in their lives.

thatbags Sun 30-Aug-15 08:21:08

too

Anya Sun 30-Aug-15 08:25:05

flutt did you actually tell the young lad to 'piss off' or just think it? I almost hope you actually said it grin.

You certainly made me laugh.

rosesarered Sun 30-Aug-15 08:28:19

Take any comments based on age with a pinch of salt, either an insult or a compliment, but take the free things that come with age with open arms, concessions are great!smile

Anya Sun 30-Aug-15 08:31:44

bags", with respect, while I know you're not as old as some of us, oerhaps you are of sufficiently lived years to not see 'nothing beyond' an older face. Or perhaps you are precocious.

Many young people do not see beyond. Not all. In truth it is those youngste r people who do see us as people, they way they look at us, interact with is and talk to us, that emphasises how the majority just don't see us.

We can tell.

Maywalk Sun 30-Aug-15 08:41:02

At 83 years of age I had a pacemaker put in to help with the seizures that I had started with at the age of 80. Unfortunately my lung was pierced when putting the pacemaker in so I had to stay in the hospital for a week in a room on my own. The first night I was out of it completely and I could not even remember my family coming. The second day I was back in this world but bored to ruddy tears because there was nothing to do in there only read and the books were not to my liking. When my lovely d-i-l came to see me later in the day she brought my I-pad. She had to pay £10 at the hospital for me to use it but it helped me get through the remainder of the week. I have explain all this because on the day before I was told I could go home I sat up in bed with my I-pad sending e-mails and keeping in touch with many from around the world through my website.
The doctor and the consultant came in and to see the looks on their faces because I had an I-pad in my hand was hilarious. To crown it all the consultant said to me "What are you doing?" I said "What does one usually do wth an I-pad?" He then said " Do you know how to use one?" It was my turn to look at him goggle eyed.
I said "If I didn't Gawd alone knows where my e-mails had finished up with folks coming to me through my website" He practically fainted because he said "YOU HAVE A WEBSITE? "
Me " Yes just because I had turned 83 did not mean to say I had lost my marbles and was TOO old to know how to work one".
I had to laugh when he said "Wait till I get home to tell my family that I had been talking to an elderly technical whizz kid and before I go I want the website address."
I am 85 now and still going.

Worlass Sun 30-Aug-15 08:42:56

My dd arrived home from school on my 30th birthday and proudly told me that she had written in her 'news book' that I was 29. When I told her I was actually 30, she admitted that she knew that, but that it sounded very old.

Anya Sun 30-Aug-15 09:00:37

Maywalk that's the ticket! Keep interested and up to date.

My late MiL was a prime example of someone who wouldn't. She'd pour scorn on new inventions, refuse even to try a computer or have a mobile. The Internet was the devil.

A right miserable old body.

Compare her with my ex-next door neighbour, who was several years older. When she wanted a new heater I showed her how she could view them on line, read the reviews, order and pay. She was delighted and full of enthusiasm. So much so that when her heater arrived within 24 hours she had me go on line and order her a laptop of her own and get her set up with an Internet link.

We're still in touch by phone and email! She recently celebrate tend her 93rd birthday. The MiL died.

I'm not saying there's a causal link but it does seem as though those with a positive outlook and a strong 'can do' gene do better in old age.

annsixty Sun 30-Aug-15 09:11:45

I was over 70 when I started using a computer and it has opened up a new world for me. I keep up with distant family, old neighbours and friends I don't see now due to distance, ill health etc. Since DH's problems it has almost become a lifeline. I bought myself an i-Pad as a x..s present to me last year and set it up and on Tues I set up a Hudl for a neighbour who is only 74!! Use it or lose it is a good motto.

thatbags Sun 30-Aug-15 09:21:37

I have yet to meet such dismissive young people. This has nothing to do with my age but with the younger people I know who are not so shallow as people on here seem to assume young people are towards people older than them. That assumption is based on ageism by older people against young people.

I don't believe I'm the only gran on here who knows pleasant, non-ageist younger folks and who doesn't know ageist, dismissive young folks.

Marmight Sun 30-Aug-15 09:27:42

I had a seat on an airport shuttle bus recently; I was the oldest seated passenger by far (a very youthful 67!). A woman carrying a large sleeping baby and 2 bags arrived, so I immediately jumped up and gave her my seat, for which she was very grateful. All the others shuffled nervously and one then sheepishly offered me his seat - which I was delighted to decline. Tables turned wink

Wendy Sun 30-Aug-15 10:36:31

My husband used to introduce his brother, 4 years his senior, as his father grin. When they were talking that is. People always believed him!

rosesarered Sun 30-Aug-15 10:44:33

A great anecdote Maywalkgrin
Anya, agree with your post as to being positive about life, and not only an interest in new things, but having as sunny an outlook as possible, and a sense of humour, goes a long way as well.I'm guessing we all know one or two ' old miseries' that we try and avoid.I know at least two, and they were 'young miseries' in their time.whilst realising we are getting older, having a positive mental outlook, not always looking for the worst in either a person or a scenario, not only keeps us younger, but maybe gets us more friends as well.

aquagran Sun 30-Aug-15 10:56:27

Declining taking a seat when it is offered, however sheepishly, is not the way to encourage future action from this passenger.

westieyaya Sun 30-Aug-15 11:36:28

I'm convinced age is a state of mind. On days when you may feel tired, ill or depressed - yes they do occur, then you feel old and decrepit. On days when the sun's shining and the birds are singing, you can feel much more proactive about life, you regain your 'get up and go' and after a session on your ipad you forget your age and infirmities.

grandMattie Sun 30-Aug-15 12:20:46

I always accept a seat if offered, usually by a "foreigner". It encourages good manners!

I was startled to see on a vial of decongestant that the dosage for Adults and "*the Elderly*" was... and was subsequently told that "the elderly" were those past 65! Does that stop us from being adults, I wonder?

Anya Sun 30-Aug-15 13:52:42

Bags I think we're talking about two different things. The young people I know personally, are fine. It's the young people I meet who differ greatly in their attitude.

These are mainly young people in service industries I supppose.

Marmight Sun 30-Aug-15 14:30:36

acqua I like to think that by watching my actions, he and perhaps all the other younger seated passengers who studiously ignored the mother and baby might, in the future, consider those less able than themselves. As I said, I am a very active 67 years od and hopefully don't look it and I really didn't need a seat having sat on a plane for the best part of 3 hours..... I just sat on it because it was there and free and was happy to give it up.

NfkDumpling Sun 30-Aug-15 14:52:36

I'm 67 too Marmight. After three hours on a plane I can manage the leaping up bit - it's the persuading the legs to move and co-ordinate I then have a problem with! I hope I'm not the only person who stands up as soon as the seat belt sign goes off simply so I can jiffle around to get my knees into action. I think I have knee dementia.

Getting old is an achievement. It doesn't bother me, but I just feel my body is getting there before me.

Hepopal Sun 30-Aug-15 15:09:14

I agree with comments that have gone before, age is only a number, attitude and your life all important. Its the media that's the problem with the word "old" and to whom it is applied or whose opinion is looked for re the subject. See the Dove wrap around advertisement in today's Telegraph newspaper. Most of the women are under 60!! I'm sixty nine and rarely think of myself as old, don't we all try and keep up. Sometimes trying to do too much or illness slows us but we are much younger than our parents were!!

fluttERBY123 Sun 30-Aug-15 17:07:14

Factoid - a local council has have banned the use of the word elderly as it implies general dodderiness. Not keen on the word seniors myself either. My Grandpa used to smoke them.

thatbags Sun 30-Aug-15 17:24:33

It means bordering on oldness rather than youngness. Some councils are getting very silly.

Banning the word isn't going to change anyone's attitude.

Nelliemoser Sun 30-Aug-15 18:20:41

When my Dad was 85 he still talked about "picking up his old ladies" to drive them to church. He really didn't regard himself as old.