It's my birthday!

Hope your day got better as it went along! ?????

An English man, a Scotsman and an Irish man were in the pub, boasting about their children.

The English man said:

My boy George will probably end up as Prime Minister, we called him George as he was born on St George's Day.

The Scotsman said:

Well, I have no doubt that our Andrew will win the Highland Games, we called him Andrew as he was born on St Andrew's Day.
The Irish man could contain himself no longer, and jumped up and said:

Just wait until you hear about my boy Pancake!

There were 3 workman sitting on a roof eating their sandwiches. One said "Oh, ham sandwiches - I love ham sandwiches". The next one said "Yum, corned beef sandwiches. Delicious". The third one said "Bl**dy cheese sandwiches again - I HATE cheese sandwiches. If I have cheese sandwiches again tomorrow I am jumping off this bl**dy roof". The next day up on the roof the first man had his favourite ham sandwiches again. The second man had his delicious corned beef sandwiches BUT the last man said "Oh no, cheese again" and true to his word he jumped up and hurled himself off the roof. "That's strange that he did that," said the first man. "Why's that?" said the second one. "Well" replied the first man "He makes his own sandwiches"!!!

Sorry RUBY forgot to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Aww Ruby Happy Birthday! Hope you gave yourself a little treat of some sort just to cheer yourself up. You deserve it, lovely lady.

No jokes from me as still recovering from family volcanoes. Sorry. But have a few

Happy Birthday Ruby, I hope it got better.

Hope you managed to spoil yourself a little (or a lot!) in the end.

Forgot my joke!

A woman called our airline 
customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.

“Certainly,” I said, “as long as you provide your own dog crate.” I further explained that the crate needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.

The customer was flummoxed: 
“I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”

Brilliant, truly brilliant. Thank you guys and gals, I can always count on you all to cheer me up. Loved the jokes and all the cake, chocolate and wine.

It's been a quiet day, got my flowers off my doggie which were a reasonable price at £19.99 and made two vases worth, so that was really good and they are beautiful. Got a card off my DS and he has been on hand all day to make food and drinks and watch some tele together which was nice to have some company. This water retention is really getting me down, it's in my legs now, my feet and bottom of my stomach. I am at the doctors soon but it does make me feel terribly uncomfortable all the time, hence not feeling great. I'm on water tablets but it's hardly moving anything along. I do put my feet up high. Anyway, a joke for you: -

Which is scarier? A puppy or a rational woman in menopause?

The puppy because a rational woman in menopause does not exist!

Thanks all again Xxx