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Grandparenting

What to charge resident grandson for board and lodging

(45 Posts)
Tee1 Mon 08-Jan-24 14:18:41

My 18 year old grandson is staying with us for an indefinite period whilst his application to join the forces is processed. He has offered to pay towards his keep. He has a shop job so is not earning much. We and is parents thing it a good thing for him to start to learn to budget etc. but I don’t know how much to ask for - what percentage of his small income to ask for. He is a lovely boy and is being very helpful around the house and doing his own washing etc. Any suggestions, please

BlueBelle Mon 08-Jan-24 14:24:02

Depends on what he’s earning but if he’s not earning much and is being helpful I d opt for that, but if you want to ask for money to help him learn to budget £20 a week seems a nice amount keep it in a pot and if you don’t need it give it to him as a surprise when he moves in to his permanent career
Well that’s what I’d do

Theexwife Mon 08-Jan-24 14:45:12

I would do as BlueBelle suggested.

silverlining48 Mon 08-Jan-24 14:45:21

It depends on what he earns. If he’s full time on minimum wage that woukd be about £300 per week so £20 keep is very little and won’t help him learn much about budgeting.

Our rent when we first married was 40% of our income without food or bills, but of course you woukdnt want to charge commercial rent as it’s your gs. I think if everything is included that £50/75 is still very reasonable with or without a set contribution towards utility bills. That might encourage him to switch the lights off. .. smile
He will still be quids in and you can always give it back at the end if you havnt used it, and you want to.
I left home at 17 to live alone in the big city, had no help from family and managed. Hard sometimes but coped ok and lessons learned.

sodapop Mon 08-Jan-24 14:48:15

When my children were earning and living at home we divided their wage by three
One third for board and lodge, one third for spending and one third to save. That way it was fair for all.

Siope Mon 08-Jan-24 14:52:05

I used to charge mine one-third of their take home pay, encouraged them to save another third, and the final third was for spending.

If you can afford to do without his contribution, I agree you should take it, and save some or all of it to return to him.

Shelflife Mon 08-Jan-24 14:54:15

I think he should pay if only a little!

silverlining48 Mon 08-Jan-24 14:57:43

Siope and soda pop your ‘ third’ system seems sensible to me.

Calendargirl Mon 08-Jan-24 15:11:52

As others have said, depends on what he’s earning,

Full time /part time?

Definitely pay something, even if not a lot.

You do your children and grandchildren no favours by not charging lodge.

lixy Mon 08-Jan-24 15:19:21

He is paying 'in kind' by being useful around the house etc but I would still ask for a contribution to the household budget - 18 year old boys can eat a surprising amount!
As suggested above you could keep a savings pot for when he is ready to leave.

Skydancer Mon 08-Jan-24 15:23:00

I agree with one-third. You will be probably be out of pocket even then. But it's someone you love so that's ok.

Visgir1 Mon 08-Jan-24 15:33:50

I charged my daughter about a 3rd of her income. But I put it away each month so when she and her boyfriend moved into their house after scraping together a deposit. I gave it to her so she could buy furniture.

Kim19 Mon 08-Jan-24 15:41:41

I would charge him one quarter of his net income. I would put this aside and refund all or part of it to him at a later date if possible. Sounds as if you are very much worthy of each other. Lovely. Good luck!

M0nica Mon 08-Jan-24 15:46:16

I always made DC pay if they were living at home and earning, even though I didn't need the money.

I agree 25 - 33% of his income and, if you can afford it, save it unbeknownst, so that when he rents his first flat, he will have little windfall to buy bedding or kitchen a equipmebt or whatever.

Tee1 Tue 09-Jan-24 16:25:52

Thank you all for your help. I shall go for a quarter to a third of his net income. Putting it aside for a gift when he leaves us is a lovely idea.

silverlining48 Tue 09-Jan-24 22:18:27

Don’t let him know about giving him something back which leaves your options open in case your situation changes.
Wait and it will be a lovely surprise for him if you give however much you want when he moves on.

Callistemon21 Tue 09-Jan-24 22:27:33

Siope

I used to charge mine one-third of their take home pay, encouraged them to save another third, and the final third was for spending.

If you can afford to do without his contribution, I agree you should take it, and save some or all of it to return to him.

Yes, this is what I'd suggest. One-third for a contribution towards his keep which you could return if you can do without it.

If he doesn't save one-third that's up to him and in that case I wouldn't return his keep until he's old enough to realise saving is a good idea. Or you could buy him Premium Bonds with it.

oldgirl2 Tue 09-Jan-24 23:07:31

No more than £15 a week, for the extra food you will need to buy, your other bills won’t change much. He will probably not be working full hours yet and will need some savings when he leaves. It’s good for him to help out a little by keeping his room tidy and changing his own bedding etc for letting him stay. There is plenty of time for him to learn budgeting later on so just help him out and enjoy the short time he will be with you.

Sarahr Tue 09-Jan-24 23:16:41

If you are happy to help him out, charge him about one third of his wage for rent and put all or some into a savings account for him. You don't have to tell him about the savings, it will be a nice bonus for him in the future. It will also help him learn that he needs to stay within a certain budget.

Calendargirl Wed 10-Jan-24 07:16:06

Your other bills won’t change much

There is plenty of time for him to learn budgeting later on

Depends how long he spends in the shower etc, and are you supplying toiletries, soap powder, tumble drying clothes etc?

My own DS paid a token amount when he first started earning, I jokingly said it didn’t keep him in milk and orange juice!

Never too early to learn to budget.

JRTW2 Wed 10-Jan-24 11:10:27

£200 PCM. Keep it real

Harris27 Wed 10-Jan-24 11:15:40

I agree keep it real. Not a lot just something to contribute. My son lived at home and he paid me £200 which included his sky payment. When he left I gave most of it back for his deposit for his house.

pascal30 Wed 10-Jan-24 11:44:23

I agree with keeping it real and about a third of his income is realistic. He will obviously get all his living costs covered if he joins the forces, but it will be of great value for him to learn to budget ... I'm horrified at the rental charges young people are having to pay where I live in the south..

grandMattie Wed 10-Jan-24 12:16:16

I used to charge 10% of earnings, + petrol if DS used the car. It seemed to have worked. DH was totally against charging!

ExDancer Wed 10-Jan-24 12:24:03

Do you feed him? (Cooked breakfast, packed lunch tea/supper?)
Young men can eat a lot of food!