Exhaustion and feeling low looking after 2 yr old 7 days a week, 8/9 hours a day for a month plus twice a year

2/3 months of full time care sounds like torture to me I couldn’t do it. Can they not make other arrangements for their child while they work? You will make yourself ill if you carry on as you are. Talk to them and explain it’s too much for you.

Im sorry but i just wouldnt do it.

Just asking for a little more info … How old is the little one? Is there a Nursery nearby? Would she qualify for 30 hours (free) per week?

What sort of work do they do seven days a week? They are prioritising their work over their child and that is not acceptable for the child or for you. If you carry on like this you will make yourself ill. You must talk to them about it. This is no way for you or the child to live.

I couldn’t and wouldn’t do it. The child is their responsibility, not yours. Is it absolutely essential for bothof them to work? If so, why?

Occasional babysitting is enough for grandparents to do, snd ..help in emergencies. Don’t allow them to take you for granted. You’ve had your turn at child raising; now it is their turn.

Sorry - didn’t read the Header properly! She is 2. I’m sure there’s a Government plan for free childcare for some 2 year olds coming in April, esp if the parents are on a low income. Meanwhile, could her parents fund Nursery a couple of days a week? She is their child after all.
A separate issue is that you seem as if you are on a bit of a guilt trip - doubting your own child rearing years ago.
I think you need to have a frank discussion with her parents about the long hours, exhaustion and feeling overwhelmed, plus your own lack of social interaction.
I’d try to get the little one more used to doing things with you and your DH, so she can be left with him for short periods if/when necessary.
Out of interest - how is childcare organised when the parents aren’t working 24/7 during the off-season?

If you do not have patience for this then it is not doing the child or you any good, tell the parents that you cannot cope anymore.

Several of my friends look after their grandchildren full time .
They find it totally exhausting , but love their children and don't want to let them down .
And those of them have been threatened with emotional blackmail -if you don't look after them then you can't see them .
I don't remember much of my own mother in my early years , because my grandma took full time care of me .
It included going on holiday with her .
Despite living in London I had a Welsh accent like her .
I also spent some time in rural Wales .
As time went on my mother grew jealous of the close relationship that I had with my grandmother .
Unfortunately , we never had any quality time together .
So I look at grandchildren , who are being brought up by their grandparents and wonder what sort of relationship they'll have later on .

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/education/claiming-the-new-15-hours-of-free-childcare-for-2-year-olds/

Here's the information about the funding for two year olds that's coming in April, and the qualifying conditions.
Parents can apply from Monday.

BeachComber31 you cannot carry on as you are, your understandable distress is clear in every word you have written.
Please look into finding some support that will give both you and your grandchild some time apart, you will both benefit.

You are doing far too much I would not do it. I would tell the parents it is too hard and exhausting and they must make other arrangements.
Please don't let them take you for granted.

It's obviously too much for you to handle, which isn't necessarily your fault. Some grandparents might thrive on it, and fully embrace what "the job" entails, but you do sound overwhelmed. If you don't have a lot of patience, and can't just go with whatever is the flow, then alternative care needs to be found for everyone's sake.

Too much ! I wouldn’t do it and no one I know would,either. What is wrong with the parents? Cut back to 3 days a week.

I m curious as to what job they do for three months of the year (twice a year) can they not equal it out more, I agree with others at 2 years old she could be going to nursery is that a possibility for you to consider and I certainly wouldn’t rule out your husbands help She is 2 and can’t dictate who she is with as long as you know your husband is competent and kind let him do some games or take her out for a walk to give you a break My Nan had me a lot as both my parents worked 8 to 6 six days a week but I used to love going out with my grandad on Saturdays
You also hint at a difficult time bringing your own children up is that all part of it ?

It never ceases to amaze me just how much some grown up children expect of their often exhausted and sometimes poorly parents with regards to child care.

Quite TerriBull

I realise how I am failing her !!!

You have things majorly out of perspective op.

I wouldnt even begin to do, what you are trying to do.

This is just too much for anyone. You need to tell the parents that you are exhausted and they must find alternative care fir their child.
Is there another set of grandparents or other family to share the load?
Please don’t think you must do this because you feel you didn’t do a good enough job with your own children, we all do our best but children are exhausting even when we are young , but so much harder when we are older.
It’s not fair on you or the child.
Offer one or two days when you can look forward to seeing your grandchild amd enjoy the rest of the toms doing what you want to do .

Time not toms

I agree with the others that this is far too much childcare and somehow you will have to reduce it. A few hours of someone else doing the minding would make a big difference.

You say the child refuses to be left with your husband- but maybe she'll have to get used to it! She may scream and have a tantrum, but children of that age do that when they don't get their own way and if you don't give in, they eventually stop. You could start by leaving him with him for short periods - less than an hour.
Another suggestion to enable you to have a bit of a social life is to bring her with you. Meeting friends and having a cup of coffee with child in tow would at least break up the long day.

Thanks for the link V3ra. I just caught the end of a radio programme that mentioned it earlier in the week.

You must stop doing this now. The parents work seven days a week, seasonal work for a few months? And in addition you care for the child for 'fewer hours' for the rest of the year?
I don't believe them; they are taking advantage of your concern, and who planted the idea that:
' I realise how I am failing her just as I did all my parenting wrong with my own children.'
They have one child and they need to manage the childcare between them, with some support from you and your husband. At present you are doing about ninety days childcare without a break.
Decide how much care you are prepared to give, and do not be browbeaten eaten into doing any more! It sounds as though the child is taking after her parents in controlling who does what; stop pandering to them all now, for your own health.
How do this adult children get to be so demanding?

Your first priority is your own health. Carry on like this and you could become ill. You need to have a frank discussion with your children and find other childcare as what they are asking would be too much for most people.
As others have suggested the 2 year old could go to nursery for part of the day which would be good for the child and give you a break.
My own view is that the parents need to be around more and look after their own child.

Oh my goodness they have dumped their child on you and you and your husband are basically her parents.

I’d be giving them notice that the arrangement no longer works and they are going to have to rethink their lifestyles to take back their child and parent her.

Looking after her 7 days a week is unacceptable to any grandparents.

I am absolutely shocked!!!!! One day a week is enough for me! You are not failing them , they are taking advantage of you big time. I am with you TerriBull,
I can not believe how many parents abuse their own parents in this way - because this is a form of abuse!!!!
Stand your ground and back away , the words to use are " I can not continue with this , it has to stop " If you want to help , tell them what you are prepared to do and stick to it. Please remember you are in charge - not them !! Their child , their responsibility, full stop. Stop this asap before you become ill , stand your ground. Don't let how you feel about any mistakes you may have made when raising your own children cloud your judgement - any feeling of guilt you may have should have no bearing on this appalling situation. Stand your ground!

maybe OP is not in uk, so some schemes not available.
but that is a detail.
just say no.
go see your doctor.
tell him her everything.
your first duty is to your husband.
you chose him, and to have a life together.
you did not choose to have that life taken up with servitude in grandparenting.
you need to give your head more than a wobble.
or there won't be any life left for you and your husband together.