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Grandparenting

Is this appropriate?

(50 Posts)
NZBell Sun 18-Feb-24 04:40:16

Is it appropriate for a 65 year old GF to address his attractive GD ... Hi Beautiful? She's 16.

Sapphire24 Sun 18-Feb-24 05:42:27

I guess it could depend on if there's any other concerns regarding the Grandfather's comments/behaviour. However an off the cuff comment I don't see as an issue.

Nansnet Sun 18-Feb-24 06:06:03

My father used to say the same to my DD who he very much loved. She was his little beauty, and he thought she was beautiful. I saw it as the term of endearment that it obviously was. I think it's ridiculous nowadays how people are always taking things the wrong way. It'll soon come to the point when we never speak to anyone for fear of offending, or whatever we say is taken the wrong way. Of course, it all depends on the context in which it's said, and if he's a sleezy old man, and you have concerns about him in any way, then that's a different matter ...

Curtaintwitcher Sun 18-Feb-24 06:28:26

I personally don't see anything wrong with it, so long as his behaviour is not inappropriate.

BlueBelle Sun 18-Feb-24 06:35:18

I see nothing wrong in that at all (unless of course he’s not a nice man and is sleezy or inappropiate in other ways)
If that’s all he does (wrong) then lucky granddaughter
My grandad used call me tupenny-hapenny ….(you d have to be a certain age to understand that) or sometimes ‘titch’ He was a lovely cuddly grandad

Doodledog Sun 18-Feb-24 07:14:06

I address both of my children as ‘gorgeous’ (when I’m in a good mood with them - I have other terms at my disposal too wink).

I think that valuing someone for their looks can be harmful, as can constant references to weight, hair, facial features etc, but if they know that they are loved for who they are, and their nearest and dearest think they are the most beautiful people on earth, I see no harm at all.

BlueBelle Sun 18-Feb-24 07:25:03

Beautiful doesn’t have to mean looks it can mean their personality, their heart, their whole being
You’re reading too much into it unless you have other reasons to be concerned

M0nica Sun 18-Feb-24 07:25:54

You do not give us much information do you NZBell. Occasion,? Context? recipient - and their reaction?

I would say that 'Beautiful' is just a pleasant term of endearment, which I see as being consciously devoid of any overtones. It is not a phrase I consider as being one used with deep overt unpleasant connotations.

A breezy 'hi ya, beautiful, what are you up to today?'

But with so little nformation, it is very difficult to comment.

Doodledog Sun 18-Feb-24 07:28:16

Oh that’s true. Is it in Wales where ‘beaut’ is a universal term of endearment?

HelterSkelter1 Sun 18-Feb-24 07:41:59

Is Ciao Bella similar in Italian and you hear that all the time in films??
Are you worried about anyother behaviour? If not I don't see a problem. Does the GD mind?

nanna8 Sun 18-Feb-24 07:44:48

Oh dear. I often refer to one of my granddaughters as ‘gorgeous girl’. Because she is, in every way.

Juliet27 Sun 18-Feb-24 07:52:37

I greet my dog in the morning with ‘hello my lovely boy’. He seems ok with that. 🐶

Marydoll Sun 18-Feb-24 08:10:55

Curtaintwitcher

I personally don't see anything wrong with it, so long as his behaviour is not inappropriate.

Me neither!

Harris27 Sun 18-Feb-24 08:21:30

Nothing wrong with that again as long as there’s no red flags to behaviour. A term of endearment.

Sago Sun 18-Feb-24 09:13:11

Why do you ask?

petra Sun 18-Feb-24 09:24:46

NZBell

Is it appropriate for a 65 year old GF to address his attractive GD ... Hi Beautiful? She's 16.

Assuming that that there are no other issues I think the person who is asking if this is appropriate has the problem.

Sago Sun 18-Feb-24 09:35:06

I am always suspicious when a new poster comes on and asks such a provocative question.
This is almost certainly dodgy.

kittylester Sun 18-Feb-24 09:39:23

I agree with sago. These posts always appear overnight.

Iam64 Sun 18-Feb-24 09:55:14

Sago

I am always suspicious when a new poster comes on and asks such a provocative question.
This is almost certainly dodgy.

👍🏻. But beware of being accused of looking under bridges

Grannynannywanny Sun 18-Feb-24 09:56:17

I wonder what relationship the OP is to the granddaughter. Tbh it doesn’t sit comfortably with me that a 16 year old granddaughter is being described as attractive.

keepingquiet Sun 18-Feb-24 10:08:44

Mmm- would OP worry if GD wasn't 'attractive' as she puts it? Young women are so vulnerable these days, but probably not at as much risk from her GF as she thinks.
I remember my uncle being a little creepy around me in my teens- he had no daughters of his own, later my mum told me that he had assaulted her when she was a child.
On the other hand men say things without thinking, and old men particularly. Some have no filter.
We should be vigilant around young women these days.

eazybee Sun 18-Feb-24 10:13:29

I would think it perfectly appropriate.
I wonder who NZBell is and why he/she thinks it inappropriate.

Patsy70 Sun 18-Feb-24 10:17:57

We probably won’t be hearing back from NZBell. 🙄

Juliet27 Sun 18-Feb-24 10:18:23

Iam64

Sago

I am always suspicious when a new poster comes on and asks such a provocative question.
This is almost certainly dodgy.

👍🏻. But beware of being accused of looking under bridges

Indeed or we’ll have GNHQ telling us to keep our thoughts to ourselves!

JudyBloom Sun 18-Feb-24 10:18:39

Of course it's appropriate, the grandfather will no doubt be very proud that he has a beautiful granddaughter. There is too much looking at every remark through a murky lens these days.