ZZZZzzz... It's National Stop Snoring Week!

I laughed at first - then thought - if you do have a snoring partner, it's really not funny unless you can sleep the sleep of the dead.

So for a perhaps not very funny story, I give my parents as an example. We had a very large old house with thick walls, so it wasn't an issue for us as children, but I was aware that my mother was very tired and would often ask my mother if she could sleep in a separate room. He would become very annoyed and tell her she couldn't.( Which I now find rather odd.) Then one night I came home later than usual and my parents were already in bed - and I heard it. It was dreadful. My mother heard me on the stairs and came out and told me that what I was hearing was mild!

Then one day we had all just finished Sunday lunch, and she produced a small machine. We had no idea what it was (shows you how long ago it seems now, but it was only under 40 years ago!) and then she pressed a button and the most appalling noise came out of it. She asked each of us - including my father to guess what it was. He said, a jet engine. I said, a lawnmower, close up. I can't remember the other guesses.

When she told him what it was, he was stunned.

The following week saw the start of the redecoration of a spare room.

My partner is dreadful.
He regularly falls asleep at family get togethers where I have to constantly knock him to wake him up.

We went on holiday the once and snored the whole way on the plane, I did try to wake him up but once I'd realised people around us were laughing, I just pretended to not know him instead,

He wakes me up every morning with it and I can never watch the films I want to watch when we're together because if he doesn't like it, he'll fall asleep, snore and I won't be able to hear a thing.
I have even started to record him and play it back to him during the football to get my own back!

The second time we went abroad, we had to catch a night flight home, and everybody had a long wait in the large main foyer for the coach to pick us up. Most people were quiet and dozing, until my husband started snoring! He woke everyone up, and got a standing ovation for the 'quality' of his snores, with everyone cheering and clapping him. He was so embarrassed that he didn't want to go on holiday after that, but now has a sleep apnoea machine which has solved the problem. I am gradually losing my hearing, so it no longer keeps me awake, but that's rather a drastic solution I'm afraid.

Feel sorry for my mother because she is completely unaware but when she is asleep her snoring is so loud it can wake up the next door neighbours, even though the walls are not that thin!

I have accepted the situation that when I go on holiday with mum, I know not to expect any sleep unless I remember my trusty ear plugs.

I don't have the heart to tell my mum about her snoring, I would rather go without sleep for a week than upset her!

My daughter's St Bernard dog snores really loudly & we joke she must have learnt it from my son in law.

I have mentioned before that Mr P could qualify as an Olympic medal standard snorer, but he insists he is actually "purring". On one occasion when I was getting particularly irate about it, he had the nerve to respond "I can't help it, I'm a martyr to it!" Oh yes, he's the one suffering..........NOT

Well, not long after we adopted him at the age of two, young Digby decided that he was going to be a "Daddy's boy". He absolutely loves Mr P, gazes up at him adoringly, demands pick up cuddles from him and generally thinks that Mr P is the centre of the universe. (Never mind that it's me who changes the litter tray, makes sure that Digby gets more jelly than meat when dishing out the cat food etc.)

Mr P always mutes the volume on the TV when the advertisement break starts. A while ago he did this as usual, but instead of silence, we could hear a strange noise, something that was hard to describe. Rhythmic, yet slightly hoarse and a bit "groany". After due investigation, we found it was emanating from a comatose Digby, stretched along the back of the far end of the sofa, on his back, legs in the air..............................

No wonder there's such a bond.....................

My other half is a really loud snorer especially when he's been drinking. So last year when we were on holiday in Turkey it got so bad I thought i would record it on my ipad which i did. The following morning I was awake before him so sat in bed reading on my ipad Just as he was stirring i pressed play on the recording of the snoring. You have never seen anyone jump out of bed so quick shouting 'what the bloody hell was that'. He thought it was an earthquake. I have never laughed so much and he could not argue that he obviously snored loud. I had great fun getting revenge playing it to the other guests at the hotel who agreed i needed a medal for putting up with it

I'm the snorer or rather i used to be - I have sleep apnoea & it's not funny either for the partner or the sufferer. I now have a CPAP machine to ensure I keep breathing. My husband, on the other hand rarely snores but I have not been aable to sleep though laughing at some of the noises he makes a few weeks ago he spent a fair time making animal noises.

If your OH snores & gasps for air get them to see their GP as i can be treated

DH is a snorer who was in denial until the night the noise of his own snoring woke him up with a start. Half asleep and having given himself a fright he was convinced something was in the room making a noise so flipped over quickly in bed with the intention of leaping up and confronting it. In the process he dislocated his shoulder. Now I know it was terribly mean but I did laugh and at last, he believed his snoring was real. Now I'm off to the Tesco website to check out these pillows . . .

one night the other half was impersonating a thunder storm,when as usual he was due a nudge in the ribs,but he turned over at the same time as the elbow was poised,needless to say the snoring stopped,but he had a good nosebleed as his punishment!HA!

When my husband and I stayed over a friends house we were told that we snore in sync with each other and with the same patterns as well. Although my husbands snoring does wake me up sometimes so he does get prodding alot.

My husband refused to believe me that he snored but one night he woke up coughing and spluttering to spit out a moth! He had to accept then that 'maybe' his mouth does 'drop open' when he's asleep!

The snoring is the least of it, generally if I reach out and put my hand on his arm he turns over in his sleep and stops for a while. Its the nightmares that end in odd situations that are the occasional problem. Like the night he woke me (and probably the entire hotel) with red indian noises at the top of his voice! He was dreaming about being attacked and for some reason that was the only sound he could make to warn me! The thing is that being woken to loud menacing noises like that really does sound like you're about to be attacked and has had me scream on more than one occasion! Luckily afterwards we're usually in fits of laughter about it, but it takes a while to get over the shock!

Mr Aka was away overnight recently. That night I was half woken up by him snoring even more loudly that usual and shuffled around in bed crossly through gritted teeth gently muttering 'you're snoring again' dearest (!!)' (my usual tactic for making him stop). Sure enough it worked for a while then started up again.

By now I was really waking up and remembering he was away

I quietly slid out of bed, grabbing the rounders bat I keep handy for such eventualities a handy stick, groped my way to the light switch prepared to bludgeon the intruder.....only to find the dog had taken advantage of the empty pillow and sneaked onto the bed.

It's not just the snoring habit he shares with Mr Aka either, so bedroom wind outs windows had to be opened as I banished him back to his own bed.

You win!

My husband and I went on holiday to Turkey with two friends. We were all on the same side of the hotel though not in adjoining rooms. Each night there was a guard dog who barked all night in a semi built hotel opposite our rooms.Our friends asked to be moved but I really wasn't worried as I had a selection of Arctic animals in with me each night. Yes a walrus, whale, sea lion and then just as dawn was breaking a polar bear all courtesy of my husbands snoring. Needless to say a dog barking was nothing compared to that!

When our son was about thirteen we set off for a long weekend on our 5 berth cabin cruiser. He wanted to bring a friend so they decided to camp on the river bank because there wouldn't be room for everyone on the boat. His friend was a lovely lad but, boy, could he snore - we could even hear him on the boat!

Just before dawn, our son who was desperate for sleep decided to sneak back on the boat and chance his luck on a tiny floor area in the cockpit. He grabbed his sleeping bag and wriggled towards the tent flap trying not to wake the source of the deafening noise although it did occur to him that his friend might think he'd been abducted/kidnapped/drowned.

He didn't get very far. On poking his head through the flap he came face to face with two puzzled looking cows who were obviously investigating the racket.

Three nights of very little sleep led to one very grumpy teenager. It was an experience we NEVER repeated.

That has got to be a winner!

I haven't got a funny story, but I wanted to add its not just adults who snore. This last week I've been regularly disturbed by the extremely loud snoring of my two year old grandson. He doesn't usually snore loud enough to wake me (unlike his Dad, who even though his bedroom is downstairs often disturbs my sleep). I'm hoping its a temporary disturbance due to a heavy cold, rather than inherited genes from his Dad and its not going to be a regular nightly occurence. The thought of snoring in stereo on a regular basis is not appealing.

I visited my mum with my daughters early one morning,opening the door with the spare key. I told the girls to go in while I went back to the car to get some things out. Suddenly the girls appeared at my side saying they were too frightened to go any further than the hall as it sounded as though wild animals were in the house. Turned out it was granny still in bed snoring !!

One morning,my husband was checking out of a hotel. As he asked for the bill for Room 8, the Receptionist looked at him and said " Ah... so you're Room 8 are you - I've just had two complaints about you".

My husband was staggered.

The Receptionist explained that the people in both the rooms either side had been unable to sleep because of the noise of his snoring, coming through the walls.

One of his neighbours actually asked the Receptionist to pass on his personal condolences to anyone forced to share a bed with him on a regular basis !

Many years ago a couple of teenagers were kissing goodnight on the front door step when... An almighty roar came from within the house. 'What the hell was that asked the young man .' Dying of embarrassment I explained it was my sister . She has a very small throat and this causes the snoring. Then more loud roaring snores erupted and we started to giggle and my mother then shouted down that were making a lot of noise ! Luckily this revelation did not put him off. We have been snoring ( yes we too snore ) together for 38years.

I am afraid that I am the snorer in this house, and I have sleep apnoea. My poor OH has to put up with it. He turns me on my side to stop me snoring/get me breathing again. I am afraid that it keeps him awake.

My OH snored his way through all three Lord of the Rings films!