Ailing mother in law/end of life decisions

Katek....my heart goes out to you.

Thinking of you and all your family in this sad situation.

As long as your MIL has mental capacity the decisions are all hers to make.

Well, we've had the conversation. Docs insisted on having it with my oh before everyone else got here as MIL deteriorated very suddenly. She was very, very distressed but settled down a little when my husband sat with her. Upshot is that all treatment other than palliative medication has been removed. She's had morphine and is much calmer and more lucid. The panic has gone. Of course medics can't put time scale on things but hope that she will still be with us on Monday when she is going to be taken home if possible. GD is district charge nurse and has offered to nurse her at home until the end. A wonderfully generous and loving offer that has made her grandad weep even more. I have to admit I'm relieved in many ways that the decision has been made, it somehow 'feels' right/better. We will have to return north tonight (oh does not have his cardiac meds) but are on standby for rapid return.

Katek, Am so pleased that there seems to be a plan that will help matters a lot. Wonderful that she just might be at home for a little while.
You sound calmer too, it must be such a drain on you all. All the best to you and you family.

I'm also pleased to hear your news Katek, it must be a weight off your mind, it's so hard for those of us that don't deal with this day in and day out to know what is the best thing to do. The doctors have removed that worry from you now so you can concentrate on being there for your MiL when she, and the rest of the family, need you. As HildaW has said, this posting from you does sound much calmer, you sounded so stressed in your other postings (which is understandable).

That is such a lovely offer from your GD, what a kind, caring person she is - you must be very proud of her.

This sounds so similar to my mother's end of life, Katek. The panic and anxiety is very difficult for relatives to deal with and it's a huge relief when the right medication means you are caring for somebody who is calm and more lucid.

It will be a huge comfort for your MIL to know she is being nursed by your GD. A wonderful example of love and true compassion.

Well done that GD - what a relief for you all to know that MIL is now more comfortable and has the possibility of being at home at the end with the loving and professional care of a family member.

Just to update you all...MIL is slipping further away each day. We're hoping to bring her home tomorrow if docs give ok for travel. Everything seems very calm now.

There's no reason why they should not let her go home if everything is in place. She'll be much better off at home, as will all of you. As she is refusing medication, there is no point in them keeping her there.
Good luck, Katek.
My husband died at home, and it is much better than being in hospital.

Mother in law passed away late last night after a 5 day vigil. A merciful release.

So sorry to hear you news, Katek. As you say, it's a merciful release but still awfully sad for you and your family.

Katek

Condolences Kate .

Katek thank you for letting us know. Many of us have been 'keeping vigil' too from afar. Glad her last days were calm and peaceful. More and hugs.

Condolences to you and your family, KateK

Kate

Been too busy to visit GN recently so only just seen this thread. All I can do is give you my condolences Kate and to FiL too.

Katek, my condolences to you and your family.

I too am glad to hear that all was peaceful at the end, Kate. I know you will still have a lot to cope with, but you can be reassured in your mind that you did all you could. May you have the peace of mind you so deserve.

What a relief that she had a peaceful end.

Sending my condolences katek.

katek, my condolences, but also glad that the end was peaceful.