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Gynae Visit

(15 Posts)
Maggiemaybe Fri 12-Feb-16 18:19:37

And if you've heard it before, it's because I've told it before grin

Maggiemaybe Fri 12-Feb-16 18:18:09

Here's a real one. An ex-colleague of mine had feet up in stirrups for a gynae examination, wearing one of those delightful tie-up-the-back hospital gowns, when she realised to her horror that her diamond engagement ring was missing from her finger. As soon as the deed was done she leapt off the bed in great agitation and started peering round, trying to locate it. To her chagrin, as she leant over to look under the bed the consultant said "Don't worry, Madam, I see it", reached down and delicately plucked the ring from her bum crack.

NanaandGrampy Fri 12-Feb-16 17:21:15

Now I'm really laughing Polly I thought it was real !!!

shysal Fri 12-Feb-16 16:50:30

BBbevan, a nurse friend said the same to a patient when administering a barium enema!

The Gynae story reminds me of the Green Shield Stamp one, where the patient used tissues from her handbag as toilet paper and transferred some!

BBbevan Fri 12-Feb-16 16:30:10

My sister in law who had very red hair , went for her 6 week check up after her baby was born. The doctor didn' t look in the face once. When she was on the table with her feet in stirrups he said " Oh I remember you" !!

pollyparrot Fri 12-Feb-16 16:29:50

I guess I'm much younger than some on here, as it was new to me. What I don't get is the rush to point out that you've heard it before....

morethan2 Fri 12-Feb-16 15:19:03

Many many years ago,before the age when us ordinary mortals were treated with a bit of respect I went to have my coil checked. I walked in and without introducing herself the doctor ordered me up on the examination bed. I noticed a man sitting in the corner. He said nothing, just glared at me. I thought it was the last patients husband. I tried to ask but was very firmly shushed and told to take my bottom half off. I did as I was told. Examination over, me in a right state jumped off and tried to get dressed quickly. So quickly I put two legs through one knicker hole. The man in the corner knew I'd done it, the doctor knew I'd done it. I knew they knew I'd done it, but I was so flummoxed I just waddled out of the room.
after my first baby I went for a post-natal with a very old army doctor while I was undressing behind a curtain he barked questions at me. He shouted "SEX ?" I meekly told him " oh no not yet" of course he barked back " l meant the sex of your baby madam" could have been worse I suppose and I could have said "yes please"

grannylyn65 Fri 12-Feb-16 14:09:20

gringrin

Elrel Fri 12-Feb-16 13:48:10

Funny the first time!

BBbevan Fri 12-Feb-16 13:08:00

Heard that one before ages ago!

Alima Fri 12-Feb-16 12:32:44

Nor me.

NanaandGrampy Fri 12-Feb-16 12:31:27

I'm sitting here quietly chuckling - that's fabulous :-)

Ana Fri 12-Feb-16 12:29:43

I'm saying nothing...wink

hildajenniJ Fri 12-Feb-16 12:28:35

Fairy dust. grin

pollyparrot Fri 12-Feb-16 12:25:06

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am.

The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn’t have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn’t going to be able to make the full effort.

So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pyjamas, wet the wash cloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the wash cloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I’m sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, “My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven’t we?” I didn’t respond.

After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal… Some shopping, cleaning, and cooking. After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, “Mommy, where’s my wash cloth?”

I told her to get another one from the cupboard.

She replied, “No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.”

Never going back to that doctor again……….. Never.