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Sex changes

(37 Posts)
jo1book Fri 01-May-15 13:03:59

I was watching The news to-day, featuring a boxer who had had a sex change. People deciding they were in the wrong body is fine by me but I find myself not knowing how to react when talking to one or two I actually know. Which means I talk differently to men than I do to women! This has really surprised me. The Male to female is easier because you can talk clothes, which thy really like to do. My hairdresser has gone from female to male and likes dirty jokes. What a complicated world.

soontobe Fri 01-May-15 13:25:18

I think that I talk differently to all people. [This is much more difficult to do online].
All women are not the same, and all men are not the same, by a long way.

soontobe Fri 01-May-15 13:26:53

I am going to the hairdressers this afternoon. I have my hair cut by 3 or 4 different hairdressers. I talk to them all differently.

vampirequeen Fri 01-May-15 13:40:15

I'd stick to holidays...always safe at the hairdresser's.

crun Fri 01-May-15 14:28:31

I used to work for a transsexual boss thirty years ago,but I didn't notice myself speaking any differently.

janerowena Fri 01-May-15 14:33:43

You can talk clothes with the other way, too. I have a friend who used to be female, I say things like - 'You only did it so that you could wear the same outfit every day, didn't you'. And 'Think what a fortune it's going to save you in makeup and hair dye'. He says the best part is being able to wear the same pair of shoes or boots all season. I feel quite jealous sometimes.

jo1book Fri 01-May-15 14:39:39

I am interested in this subject because I had an uncle who had a sex change. Grab this for a good story (good one for MTMidwives). My Nan had a baby in 1917 and they couldn't tell the sex. They asked her what she wanted; a son, so my uncle's fate was decided. He came out when he was in his fifties;became a women but then went back to being a man. It broke my Nan.

janerowena Fri 01-May-15 14:54:29

That is desperately sad, for both of them.

GillT57 Fri 01-May-15 15:23:58

what a sad story, thankfully now there would be the appropriate treatment with counselling/surgery/hormones etc.

jo1book Fri 01-May-15 16:20:18

Apparently, he was given a course of hormones from day one, according to Nan; not what you would expect in 1917. He was very mixed up all his life.
He went on local tv with his problems which caused great angst with his parents because of the shame it brought them. I think he swung both ways because he married (several times) and had children yet we have pictures of him as a drag turn in the army. I found him very amusing and always well-turned out.

jo1book Fri 01-May-15 16:34:00

There was an article in the papers to-day about lack of political party signs in people's window, gardens etc.. I haven't seen any, I must admit. There is a big UKIP banner near us, loads of Con. placards not one Lib Dem. and not a sign anywhere of Lab. I have seen nothing in people's property. Is it different in urban areas?

jo1book Fri 01-May-15 16:36:06

Done it again. Wrong thread! Packing it in for the day and going to do something useful

GillT57 Fri 01-May-15 16:59:52

dont panic jo we have all done it! The story of your uncle is very interesting, especially the'shame' aspect of it....it wasnt his fault. He should have written a book, although nowadays I suppose it would be a blog. He must have been very confused, especially in the buttoned up times that he was growing up.

rosequartz Fri 01-May-15 17:20:00

I was waiting to read which party supported/was against transgender people jo1book!

It was definitely less enlightened in those days, the poor man must have felt very confused all his life.

I haven't seen any in people's windows near us.
There are placards along the main but quite rural road near us. There are often quite a lot along the edges of fields, but I haven't seen many this time
mustgetoutmore

rosequartz Fri 01-May-15 17:22:05

going to do something useful
It's Friday night, it's a Bank Holiday weekend.
Leave useful until next week wink

pompa Fri 01-May-15 18:08:56

This is a subject that I find very difficult as I am extremely biased, I know that is wrong, but I can't help the way I feel, no way however would I ever criticise an individual as they have every right to live any way they wish. However I recently watched "The Imitation game" I felt both sorry and ashamed about the way he and thousands of others were treated, appalling.
I have had some experience of sex changing drugs (not intentional), not pleasant.

Katek Fri 01-May-15 18:25:36

We know a transgender male/female. She is married to a schoolfriend of dd2. The couple had 3 children together but she finally came out around 4 years ago and has undergone complete gender reassignment including the surgery. Unfortunately, she really doesn't have a very good dress sense and tends to wear age inappropriate clothes (she's 43) such as gold leggings or black tights with denim shorts. I think you need to be a sub 25 clubber to get away with this!

The marriage has continued in the fullest sense and this is what puzzles a lot of us.The wife/mother was certainly heterosexual when they married, and you don't actually become lesbian-you either are or you aren't, so there's some complex psychology there.

jo1book Fri 01-May-15 18:27:54

My uncle had these drugs when he was in his fifties and they made him a quivering wreck, which is why he left them off. The last I saw of him was at my grandmother's funeral standing way off as he knew he was persona non grata with his father and four siblings. I was the only one who walked across the churchyard to talk to him. He was convulsed with grief for no one had told him Nan was dying. I have never seen anyone so lonely.

Mishap Fri 01-May-15 18:32:53

I believe that there is to be a programme on TV soon about transgender children who are being treated - now that does worry me. Fine for adults who have some experience of life and who have been carefully advised; but children need a bit more life behind them before they could make such a decision - and their parents should not be making it for them.

I have a friend who is male to female; she was a big chap so she cannot really carry it off - no-one would imagine for a moment that she might have been born female. But she is a flamboyant sort of person and can cope with the stares. I guess you must feel very strongly that you are in the wrong body to go through all that the treatment entails.

TerriBull Fri 01-May-15 18:35:07

I don't know if any GNs have read the brilliant Pulitzer Prize winning book "Middlesex" by Jeffrey Eugenides. The main character is a hermaphrodite, born a girl, but as she grows up it becomes clear that although classified as female her sex is indeterminate and her male side comes to the fore as the book progresses. An excellent book that enlightens he reader about a very difficult condition.

Jane10 Fri 01-May-15 18:56:21

Oh jo your poor uncle! Thank goodness you were there. What a sad life he must have had.

Mishap Fri 01-May-15 20:25:18

This is the programme: www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b05qkzt2/louis-theroux-transgender-kids

Just dipping into it now.

loopylou Fri 01-May-15 20:30:59

I watched this on BBC 4 a few weeks ago.
I found it rather disturbing viewing, especially in such young children who seemed so mature for their years.
A programme he did on adults was very enlightening and interesting but the other one I struggled with.

crun Fri 01-May-15 20:56:13

"Apparently, he was given a course of hormones from day one, according to Nan; not what you would expect in 1917. He was very mixed up all his life."

That reminds me of David Reimer. Colapinto's book here.

Deedaa Fri 01-May-15 23:24:55

When I worked in a coffee shop we had a customer who was a nice looking woman with long blonde hair. It was only when she spoke to you that you realised she had a man's voice. We used to chat because she was doing a design course which I was interested in. Once when the subject of age came up I said that she looked much younger than her age because her skin was so good and she said it was because of something she was taking and I thought " that'll be the oestrogen" but usually I never thought about her being different at all, she was just who she was.