Bl***y CSA!

jings I don't think anyone ever quite manages to put that behind them. If they try to push it down, they end up having therapy.

No they don't. A lot of people have troubles to go through in their early lives,
and manage the rest of their lives without whining or having 'therapy'.

Agreed, jing.

The problem your son has, rubylady, is that he is still stuck at 8 years old.

Has he got depression because of it all? I havent read all your threads, so I cant remember.

You are certainly enterprising rubylady, that is the first time I have heard of icing a cheesecake!

Isn't it amazing how you find out who your friends are in life? Both in real life and online by the looks of it.

Thanks to all others apart from Jing and ana. God help it if you need therapy any time. Luckily, we are not all the same in life and some do not have hearts of stone and relationships actually matter to them!

And, when someone is in need of support, it is not actually healthy to post snide comments. That won't help either me or my son. It's others who need to grow up.

Or maybe just have a piece of cake, that might sweeten you up a bit Jing.

[cake]

All I did was agree with jingl that a lot of people have problems in their younger years and don't feel the need for therapy, rubylady.
Not directed towards you or your son at all...

jing there is a whole lot of stuff you do not know, and that I would not even think of putting on here that has happened in my family, so please do not think of passing judgement on someone when they are carrying round knowledge of really bad things, things where courts should have been involved many times. Of course it gets condensed down to one problem on here but it is not that simple, as life isn't. If you have escaped a lot of serious problems in your life, then think yourself lucky. Otherwise, please keep your comments which do not help anyone, to yourself. You do not know anything about us really. Only a snippet which is posted, like many users on here.

To be fair rubylady all anybody on GN can know is precisely what is revealed on here, so if a particular set of events or aspects of a relationship are described in a post, that is what opinions will be based on.

I still find icing a cheesecake novel, what sort of icing did you use, and was it a baked cheesecake?

jingl. I too was surprised at what you said, especially since you are on another thread where you would be happy to replace your child's carpet choice for them. I have been puzzling over this, this afternoon, sad woman that I am.

Don't you dare say I have a heart of stone or that relationships do not matter to me! That is the exact opposite of who I am.

Then stop saying hurtful things to people .

And I have most certainly not "escaped serious problems" in my life.

You put up on here about how your son treats you, so you must expect honest answers.

I repeat, you do not have a clue about my life.

Who the hell asked your opinion Tegan?

Why do you always crop up, ready to put the boot in?

At 18 years old this young man would do well to be a lot kinder to his mother. He could well find himself regretting it when it is too late.

Jingle - I'm a bit confused by the difference in your approach to Ruby's son and Atqui's daughter (carpet issue). I just noticed on the other thread you suggest the sympathetic approach is down to "love". I accept your view that Ruby's son hasn't always behaved in a kind way towards his mother but she has explained that their family circumstances haven't always been 'ideal' so she's cut him a bit of slack. There doesn't seem to be any doubt that ruby loves her boy, despite his sometimes unacceptable behaviour.

I appreciate that he has had traumas that we don't know about, but at some point he will have to be mature enough to see that his mother has suffered too, and that she needs consideration as well. She can't be his buffer forever. He may need help in "growing up" and dealing with his memories. That is what I think Jingl meant by "therapy".

jingl didn't bring up the subject of therapy, Elegran, someone else suggested that if early life problems were kept shut away that would be the inevitable route.

jingl said she didn't accept that, and I agreed with her.

Sorry for wrongly attributing that.

But if he is stuck with bad memories that spoil his life, it might be the best route, whoever mentioned it.