Group holidays and money: who really pays?

I usually insist on being escorted by take either/both DD/DS.

Guess who pays for the sodding lot?

It's important for you to pay for flights/hotels in your own name. If they book and you refund the money to them, it will look like gifts to them in the final reckoning the future if you pop your clogs too soon and they have to declare gifts from you for IH tax purposes.

We used to take the mil and DM on holiday and guess who paid for the lot? We now take DGCs or rent a holiday house. Guess who pays..... They do buy food and wine and book the children into dangerous expensive pastimes.I am waiting for the day when they say we've booked this luxury place with air con on this beautiful Greek island. Do come with us,no babysitting no cooking.

We used to take DM with us every year after she was widowed. She would pay half the accommodation and the petrol. We always did self catering when DC were young. DM and I would both collect essentials over a few weeks to take i.e. T-bags, cereal. Once there we shared expenses. For the last few years that she was able to come she paid for DH, her and I to go to Warner's Hotels each year. Her money, her choice

For several years we went on holiday with two other families, all with male children. It was great for the mums, we could go off and do things, while all the males went sailing, climbing, playing sport etc.

The accommodation was split 3 ways. Each family had their own car. The food money was organised on an even split of all adults and children. We kept it in a separate purse. A main shop was done at the beginning of the holiday, and any thing after that was bought by those going near a shop, with the money in the purse. The first adults back after a day out started dinner.

Alcohol was financed separately, under a system known to the Dads!

Any money left in the purse financed a take away on the last night.

We never fell out, are still all really good friends, as are our grown up children.

The adults still sometimes go on holiday together.

x

One year I took two young nephews- they were given £1 each for pocket money!

I would not dream of it in the future because I know who would end up paying for the lot.

I went on holiday one year with a girlfriend and that was a disaster. One day she would pay for everything, the next day I would. That did not work out because on her day for paying we had the cheapest meals available and I was lucky if I was allowed a glass of wine. On my day, it seemed to be an a la carte menu and a bottle of wine.

Never again, I will stay at home.

We often used to go on holiday with our parents and usually shared the cost and chores but I'm fairly sure we came out ahead in financial terms.We have often gone on holiday with our DS and their families, not all together though. We've paid for accommodation and they've paid their own travel costs and car hire, if any. Then day-to-day expenses are shared. Sometimes we've paid for the lot and been reimbursed. More or less. Who's counting? Good point, jingl!

The past few years I have been on holiday in France with my family in their touring caravan. I paid for every second fuel fill-up. They wouldn't let me pay for a share of the pitch because we weren't paying per capita. And the ferry was paid per car. I put cash in the kitty for food and paid my share for drinks at the bar - not to mention ice cream for the GC. Not going this year as they are camping under canvas. Not my thing nowadays!

Like jings, we are the Holiday Fairies. To us, it would feel really mean to have lovely holidays while our DCs have none. Sadly our own parents never felt the same way! However now that DD has two DCs we just have long weekends with them, and all they pay for is their travel. We often rent houses, so don't mind them tagging along as it means we get more and better accommodation for the money. They do buy in a reasonable amount of the food, but all meals out are on us. Tesco vouchers come in very handy for meals and for days out at such times, also when we visit DS at uni for weekends away.

Sometimes we rent a largish cottage or house and invite family along - as its our invite we pay and they usually bring some food and drinks and pay for the odd coffee and cake while we are out. DH is always first at the bar when it comes to paying - nice man.

Years ago when the DC were small we went on holiday with friends twice. Both times we shared a house in France and went by ferry. We each paid for our car and shared the cost of the house. We had a kitty for food and split meals out ? We never argued and had a good time. I have since been for a weekend away with them on my own since I divorced and we split everything in the hotel two thirds and a third, took it in turns buying coffee etc out and we went in their car and I paid the petrol for the return journey, no arguments again, lovely weekend. I now go for a weeks holiday renting a house again in France with both daughters, partners and grandchildren. We all pay for part of the holiday, tally it up at the end and it's adjusted when we get home, everyone pays a fair share. No arguments lovely holiday. It can be done just have to take the right people. Just arranging holiday for second year with close friend. We pay half each and take it in turn to buy extras like coffee and lunch out, taxi to pick up point etc, it all works out in the end. I love going with all the different people.

I go on holidays with my daughters and some of the grandchildren we each pay our way for flights and hotel and we take turns with meals and outings it works for us.

I go on holiday with a combination of my family and friends.
The big stuff is always paid for evenly across the board.
The little stuff, such as taxis etc, is paid by one person. And next time/day, the next person pays etc. And it normally evens out near enough by the end of the break.
re the financial situation of everyone. We dont always accurate ly know each others' financial situation, so it is assumed that if you are going, you are aware of the financial costs, and dont go if you cannot afford it.

If we book a house for a family holiday then we pay for it but DC have to get themselves there whether it is by road/ferry or plane.
We pay for meals out and day to day groceries but activities for GC are paid for by their parents.
The kind of holiday homes we rent are never cheap and I wouldn't expect contributions from others.
We have been on holiday with DS and family and he has paid for the house because it was his choice of venue.

We often go with DD, DSIL and DGC. Half the cost of the Gite, each pay for own car crossing. We used to take it in turns to pay for meals out, but after my DH retired, we agreed to pay for our own meals. Still share the shopping though. Its come full circle really. When we first went, and they were just starting out, we paid most, now they pay most because they're both earning.

We've had a couple of holidays with one child & family, we paid our flights & all other expenses were shared equally. Housekeeping money in a separate purse, it all worked out fine.

Other child was once invited to join friend's family holiday, that family consisted of only child, two parents & aunt and uncle.

We were presented with an itemised bill in advance which included our child's share of villa hire, car hire, projected fuel costs and estimated food bill. In addition they suggested an amount of spending money to include eating out and any entertainment. What they had done was reduce the cost for all of the adults in the party.

They are still friends but it left a sour taste.

When we returned the invitation the following year all we asked for was the cost of the flight.

Nowt so queer as folk!

Where is your list of abbreviations? Most of those posts were totally incomprehensible to one who doesn't know the jargon.

Scroll to top of the page and the furthest box on the right, 'acronyms', will tell you all you need to know yggdrasil.

I have a timeshare on a canal boat and I take a few friends for a week in the Summer. I don't expect any contribution towards the ongoing "maintenance" fees. I'm likely to use my car and provide transport too.

The costs of the week are the £100 to £150 for fuel and "more maintenance" plus food for self catering and the odd pub visit and meal. I hope the other members will share these costs, but one of the regulars is on disability, and another is recovering from a stay in hospital and has no income. Two less regulars are on long term sick benefit. I do pick 'em don't I!

Thanks Grannyactivist for pointing out list of acronyms. I usually try and work them out. Notice from the list that the in laws don't usually get a dear or a darling. Shame.

Just been away with our family, (5 children, spouses and 5 GC all under 4), we paid the deposit and totally for the children's rooms. They then paid the cost for their room. We get first choice of bedroom! Shopping costs were
split equally. We went out twice with the couples with no children, that was split equally, DH and I babysat for all 5 DGC one night, and all of us went out one night, the other three nights we all mucked in to create lovely in-villa meals. Alcohol was equally split, we all like a drink!, They all paid their airfares etc but I paid up front early to get cheaper costs. They paid us what they owed when they chose, and for some when we got to the villa. So we had no exchange rates to pay.
In the past when we have rented large houses in the UK, we have paid for the house, but all the food is then split between the 'children'. Each couple (except us) cooked their signature dish one night, we have a takeaway one night and a catered meal one night. We go out on our own one night. As do the other couples in pairs or alone, so not everyone is in on 6 nights. Works a treat! Whilst some could afford to pay towards the accommodation, some would find it a stretch. We just love having all of them together with plenty of bathrooms and usually two lounges/ games room. The grandchildren are getting to know one another well too, that is important for all of us. They then all go on another holiday together, as do we (several times). We are just enjoying it while we can.

We used to holiday with friends and share accomodation etc half each but as they drank excessively and I don't drink at all and husband every little, we decided meals out we would pay our own bills..then one night they had 3 expensive bottles of wine added to our bill by mistake which we paid in the packed restaurant to avoid embarrassment. Outside when we asked for reimbursement they laughed it off as just one of those holiday things and refused to cough up . Needless to say we no longer choose them as holiday companions!

We holidayed in a large group when the children were young and in their teens. We paid our own car/ferry/camping fees, if we hired a house we split the cost according to the number of people in each family. We had a very efficient kitty system for buying food and shared cooking/clearing up equally. The children are long grown and gone but many of the same group of adults meet up twice a year, sometimes for a week, but always for long weekends - same rules apply.

Spidergran's point about the difference in alcohol consumption was addressed years ago, we have a sliding scale, agreed by everyone. I'm in category 3, the lowest as I only have one glass a wine - others are in category 1, I'll say nothing about their enjoyment levels

Nice to see several new (?) names posting.

If we're going away with friends it usually works out 50-50 and fair all round.

If going away with family somehow we seem to end up out of pocket! Soft touches I suppose, but we don't really mind.

We went away with seven other members of DH's family once - all adults. There was no sharing of costs involved though - I dread to think what chaos would have ensued if there had been! They couldn't agree about anything for ten whole days! When our grandson was pre-school, we would pay for a cottage and invite DD and co along to share it. Now, with costs prohibitive during the school holidays, if we go with them we will split the cost of the accommodation and share some food costs. It usually works out okay. Next year, as it is a special year for us, we have already booked and paid for a large house by the sea so that both our children and their respective families can have a week away with us. This has, of necessity, had to be in the school holidays. I expect we will share some costs and I hope that such arrangements will be on an amicable basis! With my two, you never know!