Are you buying a poppy this year?

I have and do because of the sterling work done by the British Legion not only for ex-servicemen of the World Wars but for men and women injured and incapacitated in Iraq, Afghanistan, Ireland, wherever.
I also usually lose my poppy and have to dig out the last year's (if it survived) - car seat belts are usually to blame - as if I am poppy less I feel I should have a post it on my lapel saying "I did buy one, honest!"
Of course the best possible way to honour the dead in past wars wold be not to have any more. Can't see any politicians supporting my view though can you?
I entirely agree with what you say about care for those injured or incapacitated whether physically or mentally - and also care and support for the partners and children especially while they are deployed -when I watched Gareth Thingy's Wives' Choir, I though what an isolated life those young women lead, in their barracks ghetto, 2 or 3 tiny children, not much chance of a life off the base or a career and the mental and emotional stress of their existence. I wonder ifga agrees with me about that sort of life as I am talking without any experience whatsoever?

I wouldn't try to persuade anyone to buy a poppy if they don't want to because I think it's a personal choice. I wear mine in recognition of a sacrifice made by many, brave people. I come from a forces family and grew up with that recognition so it's an easy choice for me to make.

I grew up in married quarters, gracesmum and never felt isolated because I had many civilian friends. My parents had a lively social life and my mother taught in civilian schools so had a life outside the RAF.

Young wives have a support network amongst friends and professionals. They are free to pursue their own careers and although I can't speak for army barracks I would liken the 'marriage patch' I grew up in to a housing estate rather than a ghetto.

Yes! 25 years as am army wife, in NI and other troubled places, makes me understand - how pointless war is, and yet how brave the servicemen and women who have selflessly died for what they truly believed in.

I buy one, but have difficulty in supporting Help for Heroes. I do feel that we should remember the horrors of war, not just those who die but those who come home damaged mentally and physically and those at home who lose someone. On the other hand, I do agree with you, JessM, that we should be able to support our current servicemen if they are damaged. Also, I object to the ideas

1) that anyone who died in World Wars "laid down" their lives - I can't believe that they were any different from those who survived and both lots would contain the supremely brave as well as the cowardly. Sometimes it was just a matter of luck.

2) that anyone serving now is necessarily a hero. I don't say that they are not brave and otherwise admirable, but heroism is often thrust upon one without warning and should not be misused as a term.

I've pm'd you Jess. Let us know what you decide.

Hi, like merlotgran I wouldn't try to persuade you to buy a poppy either. I agree, absolutely with your thoughts JessM. I would perhaps argue that our forces are unfortunately ruled by whoever is in government and I take a dim view of all current political parties. But those in service, I think, deserve our show of support and are not to blame for the growth in militarism and they certainly deserve but don't receive enough support if they are injured out of service. And I'd end with adding many gave their lives long ago so we might have the priviledge of choice.

Thank you for the pm grannyactivist. Yes you persuaded me that the RBL do valuable work with families and I will continue to make a donation every year.

I think what I dislike about the way remembrance day ceremonies are done is that it glorifies the "sacrifice" - nothing glorious about war and the heartbreak it causes is there. Neither does it talk about reconciliation post WW1 and 2.
So I may not actually wear a poppy.

I like the words on the Attaturk memorial in Wellington NZ, which have a very different spirit behind them

www.nzhistory.net.nz/media/photo/ataturk-memorial-wellington

I always have mixed feelings about this. Like JessM I do think that if governments make he decision that they should go to war in our name, then they should factor in the needs of damaged service people as a matter of course. People injured defending their nation (although I am not always sure that this is the true reason why we are sometimes dragged into wars) should have the right to proper are and support long term.

The other issue is the jingoism that sometimes characterises remembrance day "celebrations." It gives me the creeps to see the "great and the good" making a public show of themselves when it is often these same people who have taken us to war in the first place.

Having said that, I do think it is right that we should remember those who have taken part in wars - when I think of my Dad being called up as a young man to engage in a war that made no sense to him, I feel very sad. He was in the Far East and who knows what horrors he witnessed?

There is always the option to buy a white poppy which signifies a desire to stand up for peace - sometimes I have bought one of each.

Yes, I always buy a poppy and wear it - not because I support war but because I support the men and women sent to fight.

I agree more provision should be made for those who come back injured, whether physically or mentally

I finally managed to buy a poppy and wear in recognition of those gallant people who have fought for us .

What the British Legion does goes far deeper than I realised. Anyone in the Forces can turn to them for help and for a variety of reasons. I feel quite proud to buy my poppy but this year I decided to use a metal poppy and a wristband purchased in previous years, also making a donation. That was fine until I discovered that this year 2013 had been added to it. So much for my attempt at saving the environment.

I apologise for the word "ghetto" if exaggerated the situation merlot but it was the image I got from Gareth Maoine's programme where the army wives were mostly wives of NCO's, very young, didn't seem to have had careers of their own and given the security issue also didn't seem to have a social life outside the base. I may have formed a wrong impression but let's face it, if you imagine a housing estate miles form a town where the men are mainly absent that is a sort of ghetto-like existence . I think I heard a resident of Barnstaple say she know of the army base but had never had any contact with it, so I feel the wives/partners are thrown very much on to each other for company, their own parents may be miles away and their friends are largely fdrawn from other army wives. While it is great to have a lot in common - sometimes it culd be too much . I alos understand that army housing is often of poor quality these days and that is unforgivable as I can't imagine there is an alternative!

The First World War and the question of whether the soldiers were heroes or victims is being discussed on The Moral Maze on Radio 4 in 10 minutes' time.

I think a lot of what you say is true, gracesmum but in some ways the young NCO's wives have an advantage being able to live amongst friends with whom they have a lot in common. Their children grow up together and often meet up again at future postings. They don't have to live in married quarters and many officers and senior NCOs buy their own houses once their children reach secondary school age.

Young civilian wives who move because of their husband's careers often find themselves cut off from friends and family and are lonely as a result.

Pros and cons I suppose.

JessM - I like the words too and wholly agree with the underlying sentiment; that's why I have two lovely Afghan sons.
FYI, my husband doesn't wear a poppy until the Friday before Remembrance Sunday simply so that his work colleagues don't feel 'obliged' to wear one because of our situation.

I couldn't imagine not having one, for me it just seems like the right thing to do, its a feeling that comes from inside which granted may not be much of a reason for buying one and wearing it.

I'll collect it at the guard house of the British Embassy tomorrow and wear it to Remembrance Day ceremony in the local Christian Graveyard on Sunday. We have over the years had British Serviceman lose their life here in Oman, notably during the Dhofar War years ago, on top of that we are a military family, my husband served his country for 30 years.

Its what I have to do for the simple reason I couldn't not do it.

Sorry if that sounds daft.

Oh do buy one my son says it brings great comfort to the families of those who carry the great burden of loss. They deserve it.

The British Legion is an excellent organisation which does a vast amount of good work for ex-servicemen, so I always buy and wear a poppy.
But I respect the views of anyone who prefers not to.

I haven't bought a poppy for years. I too feel that if the government sends men and women out to fight often pointless wars then those that are wounded and the families of those that are killed should not have to rely on charity to have their needs met. I accept that such financial support would have to come from taxation.

I also think that the sub-standard accommodation in which many armed forces' families are housed in makes a mockery of successive governments' supposed concern for the armed forces. Attending commemmoration services with sad faces doesn't address the real, practical needs of soldiers and their families but it's a lot cheaper.

Perhaps it would be a good idea for the manufacturers of military equipment to donate a large chunk of their profits to try to put right some of the damage they're responsible for.

I think there may be real misunderstandings about the work that the Royal British Legion does. Having been a beneficiary of the RBL I can only say that they truly are a deserving organisation and do so much more than supporting bereaved families.
Check here to see the help they offer.

I've got my white one for peace again.

In a perfect world of course taxation should cover the human cost of the wars we fight, Eloethan, just as it should cover all sorts of other costs of helping the disadvantaged. And of course service families should be better housed, as perhaps should the poor as a whole.

But a perfect world cannot be achieved by taxation alone, and ultimately these are arguments against charitable giving as such.

I don't "wear my poppy with pride" but I do wear it, because I think it represents a deserving cause and the BL is a well-run charity.

I always buy and wear a poppy, but I share your views Eloethan.