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worry worry worry

(90 Posts)
langfordlady Thu 28-Jul-16 11:45:33

i just wondered how other Gransnetters deal with worrying over their adult children?
my single 35 year old son, who lives away, lost his job in March and is still unemployed. he has been for several interviews and getting down to the last two, but without that final success. As time goes on, he is becoming more anxious…Mum's know!….but he is telling me he's ok, and not to worry.
well, of course I'm worried and I'm running out of platitudes to say when he rings to say he hasn't got the latest job. he is waiting on the result of one as I write, and I know he will be devestated if he doesn't get it, he said as much as said so after the interview. my heart is in my mouth , and I am wondering if anyone has any ideas what to say to him that's different , also how to stop worrying and pretending i'm not worrying!

Jalima Tue 30-Aug-16 12:20:55

I should have known, fermented foods (sauerkraut and a Japanese fermented tea etc) have become increasingly popular amongst some young people I know who are very much into diet and its effects on health.

Yes, I agree that it should have a new classification as it is confusing

Anya Tue 30-Aug-16 11:46:04

Very few these days Jalima

Fermented foods such as Natro (eaten in Japan) and sauerkraut. Some cheeses such as traditional Gouda, butter from grass fed cows... increasingly rare...off the top of my head.

Some scientists think it should be declassified as Vit K altogether, because of the confusion you mention and given a new classification.

Jalima Tue 30-Aug-16 11:29:12

Many people would not know the difference between K1 and K2 vitamins and in fact the NHS and other websites do not make a distinction. However, they do warn about changing the diet, Vitamin 'K' and warfarin.

Which foods contain Vitamin K2?

Elegran Tue 30-Aug-16 11:21:07

Thank you. Maybe the clotting connection relieved your PMS somehow? I don't know how it would do that, but it is the only link I can think of. It worked for you - that is the main thing, even if it was mind over matter.

obieone Tue 30-Aug-16 11:17:44

I am still not clear about this, obieone Do you eat foods with a lot of vitamin K so as to stop worrying about things? If so, why do you do that

I used to find that when I had PMS, I used to feel worried about non-existent worries.

Somehow I worked out over a period of time that by eating more green leafy veg, that it either didnt happen, or it was much reduced.

Anya Tue 30-Aug-16 11:05:03

Vit K2 has nothing to do with blood clotting, that's all down to Vit K1.

I didn't say it had anything to do with reducing stress and worry DJ just wanted to correct misinformation.

If Obi finds eating green veg helps her then good.

Jalima Tue 30-Aug-16 10:58:52

I know that magnesium is a muscle relaxant (helps to prevent cramps) and I do know someone who brought theur high blood pressure right down by adjusting their diet and taking a magnesium supplement.
Perhaps it would help by making one more relaxed generally.

Be careful taking Vitamin K if you are on warfarin, even eating more vitamin K rich foods.

However, I am a worrier too, I wake up in the night worrying more about the DGC than the DC.

Elegran Tue 30-Aug-16 10:44:16

I am still not clear about this, obieone Do you eat foods with a lot of vitamin K so as to stop worrying about things? If so, why do you do that?

I have found one (only one) person who mentions Vitamin K and anxiety in the same breath.

He thinks Vitamin D toxicity, ( Anxiety from Vitamin D. This also includes feelings of hyperactivity, mania, jitteriness and insomnia as well as anxiety. ) MAY be because taking too much Vit D depletes the Vit K. On the other hand, it MAY be because it is depleting the magnesium.

It seems to me that the more you upset the balance of vitamins by biasing your diet one way or another, piling on the supplements, the more you cause an imbalance in a different direction.

And generalised worry and anxiety is a personality trait more than a dietary one.

Read more: www.easy-immune-health.com/anxiety-from-vitamin-d.html#ixzz4Io3rX46v

obieone Tue 30-Aug-16 10:20:02

I use leafy veg. I assumed, perhaps wrongly or perhaps not, that it is the vit K, that if I am literally worrying over nothing, that is the important part.

durhamjen Tue 30-Aug-16 10:09:31

Yes, I did find that out, but it has nothing to do with stopping people worrying about things that haven't happened, which is what obie suggested, unless she is talking about placebo effect, in which case it can be any vitamin, and any food.
If I was worried about worrying, I think I'd take a B vitamin supplement, or increase my intake of foods containing B vitamins.

Anya Tue 30-Aug-16 09:19:41

The function of vitamin K2 (MK-7) is unique among other vitamins. It activates certain proteins in the body such as osteocalcin in bone building cells and Matrix Gla Protein in the vasculature. These vitamin K2 dependent proteins needs to be activated in order to perform their job in binding calcium to bones and inhibit calcium deposition in the arteries.

MGP is the most powerful inhibitor of soft tissue calcification presently known, but non-supplemented healthy adults are insufficient in vitamin K so that 30% of their MGP is present in an inactive form. Protection against cardiovascular calcification is thereby only at 70% in the young healthy population, and this figure decreases further at increasing age.

Vitamin K2 is crucial for optimal calcium utilization. Hence, MenaQ7 is essential in all stages of life. Adolescent children have an increased high need of vitamin K2 due to the rapid skeletal growth at that age. Throughout adulthood both men and women need vitamin K2 for healthy bones and arteries. Postmenopausal women has a particular need for vitamin K2 supplement since the decay in bone mass accelerates in women at this age.

The relationship between Vitamin K2 and this calcium paradox has become evident through numerous international scientific publications; publications which should be the basis for serious product development and marketing. However, as there is a strong interest in vitamin K, many commercial products with varying quality and documentation are being launched in the marketplace. Many are still not aware of that vitamin K is not only a vitamin, but a group of related molecules with differentiated biological properties.

I'm sure if you are interested you could access the various scientific publications yourself. However my iPad is showing a 4% charge so better post this PDQ before it closes itself down.

durhamjen Tue 30-Aug-16 09:04:33

Such as?

Anya Tue 30-Aug-16 03:32:36

Vit K does far more than help blood clotting.

durhamjen Tue 30-Aug-16 00:30:33

Why? All vitamin K does is help blood clotting. How does that stop you worrying about what hasn't happened?

You've just given us two more things to worry about, K1 and K2.
Isn't that a mountain in the Himalayas?

Anya Mon 29-Aug-16 19:54:17

Reasonably easy to up intake of Vit K1 foods obi but much harder with Vit K2. However it's an often neglected vitamin so it's good that you are aware of it.

obieone Mon 29-Aug-16 17:03:05

When that happens to me, I up my intake of vit K foods. That might not work for you, but thought I would mention it anyway.

Wobblybits Mon 29-Aug-16 16:58:51

I would say that almost everything I worry about has not happened, once it has happened I can deal with it. Having that knowledge doesn't stop me worrying.

obieone Mon 29-Aug-16 16:55:53

There is something in the Bible that can help, even if you are not a Christian.

The Bible tells us that we are not to worry about things that havent happened.
I realised that about half the things I was worrying about fell into that category. So when I find myself worrying about them, I distract myself, as those worries dont even exist.

Wobblybits Mon 29-Aug-16 16:44:28

I worry about everything, get anxious over all sorts of stuff that others would not give a jot about. Some things play on my mind for weeks and I lose a lot of sleep. I know that worrying will not change anything, but how does one stop.

lemondrizzle Mon 29-Aug-16 16:21:19

I'm a big worrier, If I don't have any immediate worries and everything's going reasonably ok I worry that it won't last and something worrying will happen very soon. When I phone any of my children up or they phone me I worry about what their tone of voice might mean. like whether they sound upset or worried themselves. If they're ok, I'm ok.

Judthepud2 Sun 31-Jul-16 15:35:31

nfkDumpling you sound just like me! I hit a bad patch a month ago when I was forced into 'full on worry' about DH, DS, DD3 and DIL. DD1 was 'concern'. And I was babysitting for DD2 at the time. No sleep had by me for several days. ? I felt I was sitting on a volcano about to erupt.

My mantra is 'this too shall pass' ...... but some of it is still grumbling on

Anya Sat 30-Jul-16 15:46:50

Anniegran that's very sad and must have been so hard for you.

A close friend has just found out that her, apparently healthy 16-year old daughter had a life- threatening heart complaint for which there is very little in the way of treatment. Now that puts things into perspective. She's totally shocked and devastated as you can imagine. sad

NfkDumpling Sat 30-Jul-16 15:02:58

I find I'm concerned about the well being of all my family members, all the time. But full on concentrated Worry can only be directed at one person at a time. It doesn't seem to stretch in more than one direction. At the moment my DS is getting the Full On Worry, as he's just had to move with his family at very short notice and is having problems with his job. DD2 is getting concern as her health isn't good, likewise DH because of his health. DD1 is ok at the moment. Once DS is sorted, my Full On Worry will be redirected to one of the others according to need, probably DD2.

It doesn't do any good of course. Nothing is changed by my sleepless nights and phone calls. And I know they're grateful that I can only blast my Worry at one of them at a time!

path20 Sat 30-Jul-16 13:48:19

We will always worry about our children no matter how old they are. I worry about both of mine (48 and 50) and also about grandchildren.
I have always told them that when one door closes another will open, you just have to keep knocking. Don't despair.
We, as parents and grandparents, can help. When my son was unemployed I trawled the internet, as did he. Eventually he found a new job on his own.When my very bright granddaughter was unhappy in her retail job I encouraged her to go to university. I was so proud when she graduated. My other granddaughter is now eighteen and I encouraged her,as did her own mother and she now has an apprenticeship she wanted.She didn't want to go to university.
We will always worry, it is natural and all we can do is just be there for them and help when we can.They just need our support now and again.

threexnanny Sat 30-Jul-16 10:54:37

I know it is very hard but you both need to concentrate on the positives - he is doing REALLY WELL to get through the application/ CV stage and get as far as the interview. He must focus his attention on his interview technique. For that he needs to go into the interview with a positive frame of mind. They expect him to be nervous, but if he shows signs of self doubt that won't help. There is plenty of advise on-line regarding this. Someone else here suggested voluntary work which will give him something else to think about and provide structure to his week while he is waiting. He may also meet someone else in the same situation.
Best wishes to you both. So long as he keeps on going he will get there.