Both my grandmothers had died before I was born. The person I always thought was more like a grandmother to me was a family friend, a Yorkshire lady. She was wonderful and some of my happiest childhood times were spent in her home. As a adult I always saw her regularly and she would give me any help and advice that I needed. I can still see her now after all these years. Funny, thinking about it now I can picture all the rooms in her home, but not in my family home. Strange.

My paternal granny died when i was 4 but i always remember what a glamourpuss she was. My maternal granny was hilarious but she didnt mean to be, she always wore a hat even inside so that if a visitor came to the door that she didnt want to invite in she could say she was just going out ! or say to welcome visitors she had just got in, another lasting memory is the ciggy (embassy no6) hanging out the corner of her mouth when baking, everything tasted of smoke ! My beloved nana took care of me until she died when i was 14 and she was just an angel on earth who just happened to show me how to write a "bookie line" to bet on the horses, i miss her every single day.

Sadly I never knew my maternal grandmother as she died at only 62 when my mum was just 21. My paternal grandmother (and grandfather) seemed so old when I was a child and I only ever remember being looked after them once when I pulled the kitchen drawer of cutlery out onto my feet! Visits consisted of me sitting between my parents on the horsehair sofa and been given a bar of chocolate. As soon as I was old enough to be left at home I stopped going as I used to get carsick and my grandmother passed away when I was 14. So many years on I feel really sad that I never got to know them properly as people. My own granddaughters were very much a big part of our lives (and my parents ) when they were young until they moved away and at 19 and 14 I like to think we are still very close.

My Dad's mother died when I was a baby. We saw my Mum's mother once year from when I was 6 or 7 and we were always told to be quiet and behave "children should be seen and not heard" when we saw her. She was very elderly and frail and I did not have any kind of relationship with her. I didn't have aunts and uncles either. I have my granddaughters nearly every weekend and more in school holidays, we go on holiday together and I feel we are close. It's good for children to have an extended family, something I didn't have.

Oh you are all so wise! I am really lost as I am finding that some of my grandchildren have changed beyond belief and I am finding it very difficult being with them. One family with 4, high achievers, ranging from 13 to 20yrs, when younger were delightful but now, apparently, appear to be self-obsessed and have forgotten all earlier teachings. I find myself totally lost in their company coming from a large caring family and am unused to being ignored and not being treated with at least a modicum of respect. DIL I have always found very difficult and after lots of research have identified her to be an "energy vampire" a dramatic sounding term but their effect on others definitely applies to me. I am now wondering if the grandchildren are now sadly going the same way - users of people for their own ends. DIL has alienated her own family and I am wondering do I persist and hope to have some influence or give up and leave them to it?

granny piper I have had such a good laugh about the hat ! Thank you for posting that - made my day !

I was lucky to have 4 grandparents and 3 great grandparents alive when I was born. My grandmothers were both hugely influential as my mother somehow couldnt do much mothering. One grandmother lived un til 2011, I was very lucky as were other family members, to have her with us. She was always 'in charge' effortlessly, and was so fashionable, always glamorous and well groomed. She was a buyer in a fashion store in her young to middle days. My other grandmother who had been a teacher, taught me to garden, sew, how to be sensible and we talked about everything.I did write her a letter 3 years before she passed, telling her what she had taught me and thanking her. My other gran passed before I got that chance. I miss them both and think of both or one of them every few days, usually something they said or advised. I hope I gave them both joy.

I had a lovely paternal grandmother. She died in 1983. I wish she had met our children. She knitted a lovely shawl for her first great GC and wrapped it up and wrote a letter with it ,in case she didn't live long enough and gave it to my mum to keep for me. She didn't live long enough and I loved the shawl so much and all five of our children used it. The letter wished me and DH a very happy life together.It made me cry.

My maternal grandma was a stand-in parent to me when my own parents were very ill in hospital - I absolutely adored her ❤️ She passed away when I was just a teenager but her influence stayed with me. My mum tells me that I have many of my grandma's good points..... no greater compliment ?

If my own grand-daughters remember me with such fondness - I will be a happy grandma ????

After a lovely walk around a local beauty spot I was walking back to the car with my glorious 5 year old granddaughter. We were having a good old chin wag when she asked me "why are you my grandma Nanna" I said your mummy grew inside my tummy and while she was growing there you were a tiny little egg inside her so once you were inside me as well. As I said these words to her it made me aware how strong the link between grandmother and grandaughter actually is. We just carried in our walk to the car holding hands ?

Many years ago about 3 years after my Mum died my DS who was 5 at the time, we were walking home from school with me pushing his 18 month old brother in his pushchair when my 5 year old suddenly asked "Mummy where did my baby brother come from. GULP. Well i thought i would see how much he knew so asked him where he thought he came from, his reply was" i think when Granny died God took her bones and made them into my Brother ! i have never forgotten that and it always brings a lump to my throat.

my Granny was a character ,she was a suffragette and was involved in politics all her life ,she was arrested once on a demonstration for knocking a policemans helmet off...taken to court where my long suffering granDfather was told by the sherifF to "take his wife home and keep her under control" apparently Granda said he would ...but GrannY under her breath said NO BLOODY CHANCE. ...lol.She was the light of our lives when we were small,my sisters and I would all fight to sleep with her when she stayed with us.Mainly because she told such brilliant scary bedtime stories..My mum would come upstairs to quieten us ...and often smack us all ,including granny accross the legs with a slipper...lol .I have brilliant memories of her and she is my inspiation in many aspects of my life

I was closer to my MGM in my early years than to my Mum. We lived with them during WW2. She must have had a huge influence on me.
She was an extravert, very musical, always had company in the house, as well as the big extended family.
I wish I could have that kind of relationship with my grandchildren, but times have changed, everyone is more mobile now.

grannypiper - the story of the hat made me lol and mumoftmadboys - the story of the shawl and letter made me cry. Aren't we lucky to have had influential grandmothers to aspire to, and gorgeous grandchildren. My MGM was as deaf as a post and chain smoked and was hilarious - I just didn't see it back in the day, my PGM made raspberry jam from raspberries in her garden which we picked - never tasted anything like it.

Great to read!