how to please your husband

christine, sending a (cupcake) (not sure if this will work!)

yup, didnt work,

You need square brackets []

Good Lord this is the 21st century and the age of emancipated woman or am I wrong about that. So how to please your husband is irrelevant, how to please and satisfy each other in the relationship is much more relevant methinks

Presumably the husbands are working on it from the other side?

Definitely, cake is the order of the day atm.

Sorry to hear you are both so down Wobbly. Hugs for both of you. Must make you feel very vulnerable knowing that you aren't able to help each other.

DH and I have pretty well sussed it after 44 years of marriage. We each have our strengths and weaknesses and help each other out. Admitting weakness in some area and asking partner for help is not a bad thing. I am seriously rubbish at technical things. Don't have that sort of mind. So I need DH to help me with these. It gives him a sense of self worth too. We all need that.

I have just read Ibsen's 'A Doll's House' examining this very topic for a literature class. He was a very early supporter of the feminist movement and the ending of the play is very relevant to this thread.

[foxie] - yes women are more emancipated now, but in a relationship both need to back down at times.
I've seen a few so called marriages where the woman dominates, and the man squirms, and it's not pleasant. Yes it is often the other way round, and that's not good either.
I mainly posted the OP because it was a revelation to me - I grew up in an all female extended family (apart from poor Dad) and never really understood men, how different we are.
Though I have got 2 sons.

wobblybits, great big hug to you and Mrs P, my poor DH is "feeling" his hip today and has taken to the sofa,which is very unlike him. x

Thanks for the cupcake thought silver lining, so kind. Comment of course was tongue in cheek, we have what seems like an abrasive relationship but works for us. Don't like soppiness.

First ever post!!!?my husband always worked overseas.so i did all the d.i.y.renovated each house we had etc so i find it too hard to hand over now that hes retired(cos im better at stuff!) haha

I'm with granjura on this one. As a divorcee/ single parent,I made sure I and my two children became independent and wouldn't have it any other way. My partner also admires me for this .

Absolutely Tricia, BOTH is the keyword. And we both have our strengths and appreciate, respect and admire each other for them, Yin and Yang. But 'pretend' to be needy, no. I do need him often, and him me- as we totally complement each other. And its not about 'backing down, either- but honesty and trust. Pretence is not helpful imho.

Christine - I didn't mean being soppy, I don't think anyone who knows me would ever say I was soppy. In fact I wish in a way I was more soppy.
I'm just interested in what pleases men because I didn't believe it before. And I hadn't realised how much it pleased my husband to feel needed.
He's often a GOG, and I tell him that, so I'm glad to have found a way of getting him out of it. Doesn't always work though.

The best way to please my husband is to go with him to a rugby match (often in the freezing cold!) Or
Go for a ride with him on his motorbike (but definitely in warm weather!)

No point in asking him to do any DIY as he is hopeless.
He has what he calls little man syndrome.
Get a man in to fix it !

He is brill cook and has cooked every meal for me this week since I had a foot Op.
And done so with good grace
So its a two way thing in our house

TriciaF sorry the soppy thing was nothing you said, just me with foot in mouth syndrome

foxie, why not both?

because in a trusting and equal (with all the differences- equal does NOT mean the same) - pretence isn't part of it (that is if I got that right Foxie).

BRedhead59, I'm a man, but I'd have loved you Granny.

I feel like I live with a friend, he's very chatty but totally undemonstrative, can't even remember last time I had a hug or cuddle, I used to ask but gave up, I shouldn't have to ask. He's cold. Will buy me anything I want, do anything I want but no affection. Quite depressing!

I have given up trying with Mr Grumpy Moser. You should see him pulling his face if you just ask him to move something heavy. He is largely concerned with his own interests.

Granjura you are absolutely right and pretence just does not cut it!
I just treat DH as I would like to be treated and he does the same for me, it works well and he is my very best friend. We help each other, pay compliments, always thank for kindnesses and work together on things which are easier with two pairs of hands. We agreed when we first married on total honesty and openness as well as asking plainly for anything at all without doing the irritating hinting thing.
As we are getting older we have had to do so much for each other as injuries, illnesses, age etc. dictate but all the above helps enormously. The only sad part is when either of us is no longer able to do all that we once could, either for ourselves or each other.

to Wobbly and Mrs P with best wishes for better health.

Feeling rather envious of most of you contented Grans who seem to have such understanding relationships with their DHs. The only one I can relate to is the previous poster 'Christinefrance'.
That said I'm definitely a strong woman, delighted that I can cope with the absurdities of life.

I also live with a friend , more a lodger really but it isn't the real him.
There was some advice from Jerry Hall, about being a chef in the kitchen, something else I can't recall and ending with, and a whore in the bedroom. Looking at the two she landed it is not advice to be taken seriously.

Thanks for the concern over our health. The good side is that what I can't do Mrs. P can and visa versa, so we can manage. WE are very much a partnership atm. Also I drive an automatic car, and as it is my left hip that is crook, I can still drive and we are both comfortable in the car. heading north for a family lunch this weekend. I have borrowed a wheelchair for Mrs P, not sure that has pleased her