Exhausted after spending a day with my grandchildren

I am new to gransnet and so relieved to know that I am not the only one worrying about accidents, etc. Parents seem so laid back these days. I now have four grandchildren under 4 years old, all very far away from me - two of them abroad. I am nearing 68 and still working full time with a 12 hour working day because of a long commute. When I visit, I still do the early rise each morning to give the parents a break and arrive home shattered but I miss them constantly and remind myself that they grow up so fast I had better make the best of it now. On the other hand, I wouldn't like to be so near that I was constantly babysitting. However, my biggest fear is that I or my husband will eventually be unfit for the long journeys and we don't have a lot of room for parents and older children to stay when that day comes. The travel is also very expensive. For many years, I thought that I didn't mind not having grandchildren but now they are here, each one has taken over a big chunk of my heart and mind and I can't believe how happy they make me. I know that many of you are getting very tired more often than I am but you are also very lucky to seem them so often.

Welcome Oxon70

Welcome Blueanne

Good to meet you, Oxon70 - looking forward to reading more of your posts. I can definitely identify with the need for peace that you yearned for!

Oh,no.its nature way of telling us we are not meant to have young childen.i have made it quite plain,i wont be providing free childcare,I have done all that 3 times already,your children, you look after them. I have friends who do, and they are exhausted, fed up and feel put upon and feel they have to run thier lives around their grandchildren, and now our schools break up next week and already they are muttering...no thanks!!!

Just got home after looking after 3 grandsons aged 7, 9 and 11 and their dog for 4 days. I am exhausted but had a wonderful time. It is great being home again, but I feel like crying because it is back to being alone. My daughter, husband and friends have been climbing Ben Nevis, Scafell Pike and Snowdon within 24 hours. They are far more tired than I am ! My parting shot was a confession that I had accidentally put a white school polo shirt in to wash with the red sweatshirts, hence it is now pink.

Shysal, know what you mean, we only have one 14 month old, we love to see him, but where did our energy go, sure we never flagged so quickly when our children were that age.

We have been playing in the garden all afternoon with grandchildren, where do they get all the energy from ? I have hay fever and a headache from the sun but it was worth it.

My husband and myself take a very active role in our grandchildrens lives, we try to give them as much attention as possible, in summer its outside, gardens parks beaches, in winter its games colouring,etc.
I am 51 , my husband is 58, has had a kidney transplant so has not had the best of healthy, we are exhuasted most of the time but i wouldnt be without them.
We took our grandson ( the others were different places) to a zoo park last week, i shadowed him all the time, if it wasnt me it was my husband, grandson is 2, we were both standing as close as could be too him when he fell of a big chair into a table and cracked his head.
The fear i felt was unreal, i felt so bad for him and felt guilty, after an ice pack and check up in hospital , he know sports a black eye.
I dont know why we feel so tired, is it the responsibilty , i dont know, i do know one thing , i wouldnt want to be without them. love them so much

I think the tiredness is not just from the physical exertion but from having to concentrate all the time. It gets worse rhoda590, you are only a spring chicken compared to some of us.

My husband always jokes that he's seen the wonderful lights of Las Vegas and the bright lights of Blackpool but the lights that bring the most joy are the back
lights of our son's car going down the drive taking our grandchildren home!

I really liked that one, saga! I only have a visit from my great-grandson for a couple of hours a week, and his mum's here with him, too. But, just like rhoda590, I was horrified when he fell yesterday in the kitchen. He's 13 months, and is very wiry. However, he fell and banged the back of his head on my stone floor. The fear I felt was terrible! It wasn't a bad fall and it wasn't from standing, but he really cried and the bump came up straight away. There were no ill-effects and he soon forgot about it, but my heart was in my mouth. I can't remember ever worrying like this when even my grandchildren were his age. (It must be MY age!)

i loved that sage, really funny! I also think grandparents today do alot more than years ago, my nan was a great nan, she cooked and baked for us, she bathed us, one thing she didnt have to do tho is work, i am working and between work and the grandchildren , it its hard. I am also sure, like greenmossgiel i didnt worry as much about my children i did worry about illness but not falls etc!! I know how you felt greenmossgiel, i thought i was going to collapse myself when i heared his head hit the table. Thankfully he is fine but nanny is still in a state of shock!!!
My husband is off to mother and toddler tomorrow with him, he goes every week, mum doesnt like going and i am working. He will be sporting a black eye so i suppose grandpa will tell the tale.

Looking after children is work.

Grandpa will tell the tale with no problems whatsoever, I'm sure, rhoda590! He'll have all the mums in his thrall as he explains how the little lad fell with such an enormous crash in front of your very eyes. Everyone will agree that these little accidents happen in an instant and that similar things have happened to them too! He'll comeback from 'mother and toddlers' feeling ticketty-boo and much better about the whole incident!

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so so true i learnt my lesson with my first grandaughter and never forgiven my self she was 1 and a half and i took her to the park she had just started toddling and being miss independent would not let nanny keep hold of her reins and she fell i had to take her home with a bloody lip to her mums horror but after cleansing it was not too bad and healed next day but i still cringe with the thought of it could have been worse. 3rd granchild on now his mum tells me to stop being so protective let them be lol can i let them be? certainly when I'm in charge NO!

I love this comment. We have a 9 mth old grandson whom we see fairly frequently despite parents living 100 miles away, but as he is now crawling......boy is it hard work. I'm not as fit or thin as I would like to be, (but getting there). This morning I woke up feeling I had been 10 rounds with Mohammed Ali???

My comment was in response to saga, but haven't got to grips with how this site works.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one. Having one at a time is wonderful. Having them all together is a nightmare. They run me ragged. My house is wrecked, I'm laying prostrate on the setee. My husband has to have beans on toast for his tea. Is it worth it. ..of course it is. All that love aren't we lucky

Phew- what a relief this thread is to me! Our GSs are aged 1 and 3 and are so different from each other. We seem to spend a great deal of time refereeing when one gets the other`s toys and outraged screeching etc ensues. I`ve often mentioned play pens to my DD but am completely ignored. Similarly reins for the toddling one. DD herself used to love her reins and would bring them to me before going out. They saved many a skinned knee etc as I could safely catch her as she fell. Playpens and reins are just out of fashion now.
We`re both wrecked after a visit and bones ache from the lifting, stretching etc that we`re not aware of at the time. The unconscious need for constant vigilance is wearing too.Then when they`re gone I miss them so much. There are 2 little hands round my heart

I've been wondering why I'm feeling so tired this week! A few stints of minding various grandchildren, culminating in twin 6 year olds for 6 hours yesterday, then babysitting the other twins (nearly 3) last night. One of them was wide awake and we spent an hour or so reading stories, then singing every nursery rhyme she knows, repeatedly, till she was tired enough for her bed at 9 o'clock. Can't keep my eyes open this morning, but I wouldn't swap my lot for anything.

I started to read this thread and had that 'deja vu' moment and realised it is over 3 years old - nothing changes .
I spent a week and a half recently helping out with pick-up duty when DGD started school and the time I spent getting her and the 2 year old in and out, out and in of the car and then entertaining them afterwards in the park, the play-farm, in the garden playing ball, dressing up for what seemed hours on end, colouring - phew, was I knick-knack-paddywhacked. I am home for a month, in recovery, and then start all over again for half term which will be an all day, 5 day week. I am looking for excuses already

Oh how I empathise. When I have our two together I am forever saying "six feet apart" and "indoor voice" Eldest shouts and snatches and the youngest shares willingly which is so unfair.

We had GDs 10th birthday at our house complete with 4 friends. Luckily her daddy stayed as well but they all behaved beautifully; it was the clearing up and washing (they stayed over!) that was the tiring bit.

This weekend we had our nearly 2 year old GS for his first sleepover with us. He comes for the day every week and is joined by his siblings after school. He was no trouble but every room in the house seemed to have toys and/or clothes covering the floor. He was on the go all the time and whilst he slept well, I was on tenterhooks - just in case!

Next weekend we will be having another 2 GDs staying over for the night. They've stayed several times before so fingers crossed all will be well. After that I shall collapse in a heap although really DH is the star. They all call our house 'Grandma's House' but its Grandad they want to play with them as he does 'speriments and madcap things in the garden! I provide food, stories and do the washing afterwards! We both provide the cuddles. We're very lucky that they want to come but one day it would be nice to have our house free of toys - or will I miss it all?