Gransnet forums


babies in restaurants

(32 Posts)
Stansgran Sun 17-Jul-11 15:28:25

We have just taken dd sil and 2dgs on quite an expensive hols by the sea. brilliant weather (UK) and suggested they go out every evening-either am eal or walk along beach or drink at pub while we happily babysat. on the last night but one we booked for a meal on our own-michelin restaurant-highly recommended to celebrate wedding anniversary.
pre dinner drinks and in comes grandparents young parents and ist grandchild who screamed(about 18 mths old) at regular intervals the grandparents only took him out once to calm him and Mum wasn't still feeding which would have been a reason to bring him out as she had a selection of heinz jars on the table. The restaurant was busy and chattery but he could be heard well above the chatter(about 8 tables in a small room)
He spoilt our evening and I suspect others -I would have loved to take my brood out but it was past their bedtime and if they had misbehaved we would have taken them out in turns. So am I being unreasonable to say this family were selfish?

Baggy Fri 22-Jul-11 15:10:54

hildaw, I think you could be onto something there. And I need to jot down what I learn from all you guys peeps about How To Spot A Troll! blush

HildaW Fri 22-Jul-11 18:02:25

Well Baggy m'dear Trolls seem able to turn a thread that starts from someone simply asking if they are being unreasonable to ask if its a tad ill mannered for people to take an apparently unhappy toddler to a 'michelin' restuarant in the evening where it is likely that some diners will be having quite a grown-up meal, into an unpleasant rant about how families cope with the life shattering tragedy of the death of a husband and father !!!!
Banging on about good manners in such a way is bordering on the hypocritical. I was always taught that good manners was much more about putting others at ease rather than strict etiquette.

bikergran Fri 22-Jul-11 18:18:03

Hi all.....there used to be and still is this kind of "goings on" on another site (begining with e) lol.....I never knew what trolls were (apart from them little creatures with long coloured hair)..! Personaly I find the best way to treat these "tolls" is after having read the thread..if it seems a tad to ermm lets say "harsh" then I find the best thing is to completly ignore! if possible..but of course by raising the hackles" and replying then we fall into their hands..but some times we just read something and Grrrrrrrrrr.......we feel that we must reply and defend... I think gransnet has so far been pretty good as far as debates we are (well most of us) mature enough to be able to have a debate in an informal and courteous manner without coming to blows...(wouldnt like to argue with anyone from here after a few glasses of wine lol lol... (joking) of course... grin

HildaW Fri 22-Jul-11 19:28:00

Biker.....yes you are right of course.....Trolls are best ignored, they are like the bullies in the playground that your Mother always told you to ignore. Trouble is I now look back at them and feel that if only I had had the courage to wallop one of them instead of suffering in silence I would have at least had the satisfaction of someone else knowing how I felt. But hey ho, I was brought up to have good manners and not cause a heres to you all, but make mine a brew because I'm trying to be good!

grannyactivist Fri 22-Jul-11 23:13:43

Okay, I admit it; alifen caught me on the raw this morning. She 'attacked' my cub - and as every parent knows; THAT IS NOT ALLOWED! So, whether alifen is a 'Troll' or not, my mate (always true to you Baggy) is quite correct in saying the equivalent of, 'forgive, forget and move on'. As I think I said previously, there is always a context and we don't always have the full facts at our fingertips when we enter into discussions. (For instance, alifen doesn't know what a treasure my daughter is - how could she?)

(It is quite lovely though that so many of you sprang into action here - what a powerful bunch of women you all are. I am very fond of my GN community.) grin

groovygranny Sat 23-Jul-11 00:40:07

Can I just say to the 2 grannies who have lost sons-in-law, I am truly sorry, I cannot begin to imagine what you have been through. Your own grief must be compounded by seeing your DD and grandchildren suffering so much. Alifen I presume that you have not suffered such a loss or you would not have been so insensitive. Only those who have suffered a similar loss can really understand what it is like. I would never be judgemental about how someone deals with that situation. What is that saying about you must walk a mile in someone's shoes.......
Oh...and Stansgran, I would have felt the same as you. They should have taken him out. In Italy, yes you see lots of families in restaurants but I never experienced a nuisance.....they were either asleep in a buggy or taken outside. Amazingly considerate seeing how inconsiderate they are on the roads....oops sorry...that was another thread that I was contributing to!