Where were you all!!! i thought it was quiet!!!!! I waited for hours??

I waited n waited for hours n hours..under Blackpool Tower on Monday!!I thought "where are they all" I have bbq ribbs, big fat yummy chocolate cake!! ice cream... and lots n lots of bottles of
even bought plastic glasses!! sooooo I thought must not have got my message..soooooooooo I set off to the beach..where I shared my booty with a male metal detector! I asked him to join me in a he couldnt get over quick enough!! his metal detector went straight for my undergarments!! but I put him straight that it ws just the safety pin holding my knickers up ...I could see he was just after my so I gave him short thrift!! ..........after a while I thought hmmm im bit lonley here so I nipped across the road to this borded up shop with an arrow that pointed round the corner (you had to use the back entrance)!! ..hanging up in a packet were 2 infaltable dolls..! one male one female..so I bought both...but myyyyyyyyy by the time I had blown them up I was cream crackerad!! we shared a few more glasses of then thought hmm why not light the BBQ...Which I did,,as i turned back round ,, I could see only One of my new friends!! OHHHHH dear! I thought...and it was then I looked to see a pile of melted plastic in a little pile I was deveasted,,,,so i snugggled down in my sleeping bag on the beach and after serveral glasses of I drifted off....I awoke slowly and a bit puzzled...as my feet felt a little chilly...and damp..!! I raised my head (ouch)....and saw the tide lapping at my feet!!!!!!!! I looked up towards the horizon...and there he was !! my other friend, bobbing up and down drifting towards the Big Tanker! I was motified!! I packed up my things tidied round and walked to Mcdonalds..had lots of black coffeee and a bagel...a brisk walk round..and back into the camper van..where it is now back up for sale on Ebay!! Im sorry you all missed it and didnt get to meet my new friends!! but maybe next time...we coild go !!CAMPING!!!!!!!