Cut out of their lives

So good to hear these signs of progress, however small. Fingers crossed! Good luck nanban x

Nanban got everything crossed for you! Good luck xx

Thank you all so much - if the power of thought works surely now is the time for it to happen! We've been hanging in now for such a long time and the days seem to pass ever more slowly in many ways. If any good comes for us this time it must send out lots of hope for everyone else who is going through The Troubles.

Positive vibes from me too Nanban. I wonder how your son knows you talk on a forum. Seems he is interested in what you do. <<<<<<<<<<positive vibes>>>>>>>>>>

Well, we were all positive and hopeful, bought the children presents, got the old push along dog mended - but oh so sadly, it seems we're back to the silent treatment and have nowhere to go. When you've tried everything, done everything, obeyed every request it leaves your hands empty.

Thinking about you Nanban. If the support and good wishes from all of us Gransnetters could have some effect, your troubles would be over

Here's a very big (((hug))) nanban

If only all the lovely things you think and say would work we none of us would be estranged fro the people we love. So utterly pointless and yet we are so helpless. Thank you dearies.

Nanban I think this time of year as we head into the Christmas period is particularly hard for us. I have no idea what to buy my grandchildren as I have no insight into what they already have or would like - and that sort of brings into focus the things I've missed. I am very fortunate though to have cards and occasional photographs, so I count my (small) blessings.

Stay steady and remain hopeful, Nanban. Maybe it's just a bit of a 'last stand' on DIL's part. Fingers staying crossed for you. xx
ga, thinking of you, too - and sending a ((hug)). xx

Christmas is a minefield of possibilities - everything worth having is so expensive and yet worthless if they already have them or are more interested in other things. And then we are damned if we send and it's wrong, and damned if we don't send at all. Oh dear, doom, doom. I am sorry for being such a whinger - unacceptable behaviour!

I would move heaven and earth for your small blessings and however small they may seem, they are wonderful to have - and you never know, they may lead to better days. Let's hope so.

If you have little tiny grandchildren clothes and little special treats would always go down well with both parents and children. For the older ones buying tickets for panto or some such could work or subscriptions to something so that they are 'close' to you every time one arrives. Very tricky territory. Good luck.

And I can't seem to access the nice little pics!

o can feel for the ladies in same boat as me and OH.

Is so very very hard and we have not real idea what the hell to do this Xmas.

I always put thought into a parcel of nice stuff, books, tops, toys etc etc. and never ever get an acknoweldgment, last year we even enlisted a priest to take our offerings.
I just do not know if I have the hear to do it this year. My lovely OH| Has offered to go over one more time (if s i law not there) but i really do wonder if it is worth going throught the upset again.

Gosh I do sound negative! must be the dreaded virus I have.

Poor celebgran , sometimes you have to wonder don"t you ,what is it all about ..

Keep your chin up , don"t let them get you down

gosh can anyone tell me is it just me has trouble trying to post and it just keeps taking for ages to get thread I want??

wonder if need computer checked again.

Going to say Grannyactivist thats exactly how it is, we have no idea what our little one age 4 and half looks like now let alone what present to get her, and it does bring it home the sadness of it all.

Determined not to let it get me down too much Nonu, reckon having bit of hiccough due to this throat virus would normally have been to acquacise today and busy busy.

celebgran your sadness brings tears to my eyes.

Go for it again at Christmas celebgran. Would it be more upsetting if you regret not sending your grandaughter a token of your love for her, perhaps wondering whether she could accommodate not having you in her life? As children grow, they do ask those important questions. My four year-old grandsons are asking about their paternal grandfather now - he died three years ago, and now they want to know why they have one grandfather, when their little friends have said they have two. Things can turn on a sixpence, so please don't give up hope.

oh soop sorry did not mean to be a misery!!

Thank you Whenim, OH was very tired last night, and you are quite right, best to keep the contact going however fragile, just wondered if daughter did not hear from us at xmas if it would maybe set her thinking.

a risky game to play.

Really apprerciate an outside comment we get so bogged down in it all ourselves.

Our son hates to even discuss it and he just moved in with lovely partner and her 2 boys so really do not want to broach it with him again.
thanks again Whenim for that positive comment. Mollie was 4 in June so she may start asking about us now. we sent her card from India and always hope she sees things we send. also bought her little pretty bag from India, will sound OH out about his earlier offer to go over again when he is feeling less tired!!

celebgran We're here for each other. Sharing another's pain is what we do. I do not believe that refraining from contacting your daughter is the right thing to do. I would keep the door ajar. Never give up. I wish you well.

thank you soop it is so helpful to have that support

My ex-DIL treated me and my son so appallingly and a few Gransnetters will know I see him every week now, after months when she stopped contact and tried to alienate him from us. It was so hard to keep going and trying anything that would bring him back into our lives. He will be 13 in March, and can speak for himself now. He is going to Paris with his dad in a couple of weeks. This time last year, I would have been posting on Gransnet with tears streaming down my face. The thing is to have more persistence and determination than those who are getting in the way of your grandchildren exercising their right to see their loving grandparents.

celebgran
when

If only parenting was optional! For everyone who is going through troubles, don't give up, keep trying and we have to hope for better times. So many people go through what we are going through and however long it takes, one day it all gets better.

nanban

Fingers crossed everyone for me tomorrow - contact framework with children being put before the court tomorrow by local authority - a lot of quiet determination employed over the past few weeks. So am hoping it will pay off

The very best of luck, SJP.