Cut out of their lives

Nanban You started this thread and you have now expressed so clearly the present situation for both _grandparents and grandchildren_Even if some grans have never known this heartbreak they can help us by writing to their MP asking him to support 'Shared Parenting' which will be debated in the next parliament.

brilliant news for angiebaby and chadsky, maybe there will be hope for me too one day.

just does not seem like it at moment!! if was up to me I would apply to court for leave to apply in fact we have and they returned forms as we had them so long were out of date, if gave us time to rethink so we did not do it. part of me regrets that, especially now with our little grand daugher 4 and starting school I have been in very dark place lately thinking of that.

Agree no one can force mediation, but appartently our daughter will have to attend it if we do apply to court, such a drastic measure though.
our mp has been excellent and written to the police to ask exactly why we were given harassment warnings etc no reply as yet.

Keep your chin up

Maybe I shouldn't speak for anyone but me, but missing your children and grandchildren is a huge weight to carry around - that doesn't describe it well enough - and going through all the processes some days seems too high a mountain to climb. Most days.

Today I battle with visitors arriving with a little girl who will be the same age as our grand-daughter; I've got all the things out and ready and I just don't know how to get through it. I can't bear it and from some place I have to find a smiley, public face.

Nanban I had experience of not being able to see my grandson for a few months and will never forget the pain of yearning to see him. I'm lucky, because my son and I see lots of him now, after some awful court challenges to ex-DIL, but those feelings quickly re-surface when I hear about other grandmothers going through the same thing. I hope you get through the day without too much strain and maybe even enjoy a few moments with this little girl.

You will Nanban because you are a kind and caring person

Precisely, Grannylin! She is.

Nanban xx

Yes, those are the things that make it difficult. A few weeks ago someone came into work with two children round about the same age as my grandchildren and I nearly lost it. And, on holiday last week I kept seeing grannies with their grandchildren. It was like when I was first divorced and everywhere I looked people seemed to be in couples and I felt a if I was existing in another dimension. It's very emotionally draining wearing the Eleanor Rigby face, isn't it, which isn't helped by the fact that we feel that we're somehow resenting out friends' happiness [even though we definately aren't].

Crimson you have put it so well.

I went to my frienship club Wed and got chatting to lady who did not know my situation, and she said thats awful there is no one like your Mum and i co uld feel the tears starting!! She realised that and we quickly changed subject and I got through it and t he speaker was so good!! so life goes on.

Regarding seeing little ones I have 3 great nieces who are 5 4 and 3 and I absolutley loved seeing them few weeks ago, so maybe I am healing a bit.

Of course it is hard thinking would my little g daughter be like this but I was relieved that we enjoyed spending time withthe little ones.

have to try and keep positive and as my cousin said my daughter is the one with the problem have to try focus on that or I will go nuts!!

Be gentle with youself Ann.

For all the loving grannies who are dealing with difficult and painful family issues, I send my love, and hope to goodness that your patience will be rewarded. Try to keep strong. Given time and perseverence, even the worst of situations can change for the better...

At last my DS has got his court date....at the end of this month. We've booked an overnight stay as the hearing has to be where his DD lives with his ex.....miles away. I feel relieved that finally we're getting somewhere and very nervous about the outcome. Soop your kind words and made me feel better, thank you.

lucid I have enormous admiration for you. I'm willing you to stay focused on a positive outcome. Stay strong, and never say never...

ANNEand Graham - I can tell you, we had times when we nearly gave up, it was only the thought of my darling GD, and how terrified I was of never seeing her again, if she went for adoption. I am so glad now that i kept up the fight. Yes i am aware there are many years ahead, and that the bringing up of your grandchild is not an easy thing. but I would not have done things any other way. I feel for any grandparent who does not have contact with their grandchildren. got to go now, she has just woken up from a nap, smiling and joking will post again soon

chadsky I'm VERY happy for you.

Thank you all - I am so sure your positive, kind thoughts help. Our visitors stayed a wee bit longer and the little girl was so lovely it was well worth it. A major milestone overcome.

Onward, onward. I'm sending out as much positivity to everyone in our situation and hope it work.

An update: We finally 'found' our son and made some very tenuous contact but so far not so good - I have a new 'sin' added to the list - I talk to complete strangers on a weird website - that'll be you lot of course.

We are hanging on and doing the best we can with very little.

Oh *Nanban, but at least you've made contact. This 'sin' that you seem to have committed could just be a 'grudging grumble' from your son, perhaps? So that he doesn't feel as if he's losing face? Fingers crossed for a good and positive outcome. xx

Hello Marelli, nice to meet you! and thank you for your wishful thinking and wise words.

nanban fingers crossed that its the door gradually opening.

Have you seen how many posts are on this thread, GNHQ must be letting it roll as its a crucial thread.

I noticed that as well, glass. I think it was one of the first of the threads on this particular subject.

I did too! Wasn't going to say anything....

Yes, Marelli has made a good point! Being able to save face is often instrumental in relationships being repaired. Good luck nanban

I've said it before and I'll say again - you are a lovely lot. We are treading oh so very gently, and living hopefully.